Rest time is over...

Yippee!!! My two week break is over.... tonight I go training with Trainer Christian.  Trainer Nate is away overseas he will be back next week, I've decided if the fill in trainer tomorrow night is not any good I will go see Trainer Christian again on Thursday night.  But we will see!  I might want to crawl into a hole after tonight.  The bruises on my knees have cleared up for the first time in months. 

I can't complain though I was very busy with my sideline hobby of cake decorating, October seems to have been the month that suddenly anyone I've ever made a cake for wanted one again!  So I would have had to do some serious schedule shuffling if I hadn't had this imposed break... that's supposed to be my silver lining right, everything happens for a reason hahahahahaha!

So in total honesty food's been a little up and down... I reigned it back in this week but with TTOM my weight shows a basic maintenance figure.... not bad for all that cake! hehehehhehe back into exercise and a bit more of a reign around the food and I expect the end of the week will be all good.

So lots of things going on... something I can't talk about yet a little deal going on with the possibility of some interesting opportunities but I can't say anything till it's all done and dusted.

I've been investigating my Certificate III and IV in Fitness.  I've decided on the place just waiting on some money to come through and I'm going to do that.  It's something I've been thinking about doing to help close the circle of information and learning that I've been doing over the last year and a half.  And I'll feel more comfortable being able to give people actually advice from a more informed place.  And who knows I could make some extra dosh as a trainer always good!

A possible job opportunity at work, I think it's something I would be REALLY good at and would enable me to effect some real change throughout the organisation in a positive way... fingers crossed... I know if it's meant to happen it will work out but there's no harm in asking for some positive vibes now is there!?

PS Did I mention I got an iphone?! I'm such a geek but I am in total infatuation with it.  My friends told me to download a game called Angry Birds and O-M-G!!!  Hours pass by in the blink of an eye with this darn obsessively addictive game! hahahahahaha

My trainers have been telling me to look at yoga and pilates, I haven't had time to investigate classes in my area, but I picked up a wii game that is both yoga and pilates, so I will endeavour to give this a go sometime during the week as long as I get my runs in!

So next goal is the 7th November, 10km Run4Fun at Sydney Olympic Park.  I'll be testing out my iMapmyRun app with my first run on Wednesday and because I'll be tracking my run with the actual GPS on me I will have truer indication on how far and fast I am running! WOOHOO!  Geekdom here I come! :P

Milestones, goals, and keeping on....

So where are we at, lots of little milestones happening at the moment, I've broken the 70's meaning I've lost more than 50kg's, did I write that in another blog I don't think I looked back far enough.

We had our fitness tests again, this was the 2nd time we've done the beep test properly measured, last time I psyched myself out a bit, so this time I was aiming for 7.1 and reached 7.5 so I was pleased with that effort and hope to see past 8.1 on the next one.

I finished Hypoxi again and lost 5kg and 26.5 cm's.  I have my dexa scan on Friday so I will be very curious to see the results as it will be almost 2 months to the day.  Aside from my trainer quite hammering us, I've picked up the extra session with Trainer Christian where we did sessions using an olympic barbell, so I am expecting to have gained some muscle but I just don't know what that means for my fat loss, so I'm nervous but excited to see the results.

I went clothes shopping today with some girlfriends, this was a whole new experience for me as when I was fat I hated going clothes shopping with other people especially slimmer friends!  The shops they would go into never had my size and well really I was embarrassed.  But today it was so much fun and I had no qualms in letting the girls come in the change room with me and they were totally great!  I ended up getting a dress I've been eyeing off for about 6 or so weeks, and a ring in I tried on at the 11th hour that will be my evening outfit for my birthday next week!

I'm on leave for a week and have started clearing out some stuff, some cupboards with crap that needed clearing (magazines from 2006! what was I thinking... straight into the recycle bin!) I weeded out my book collection, I've bagged up the clothes that are all too big that have been in the back room, and put them on the balcony, I need to get them in the car and off to charity.  Tonight I went through my wardrobe again and filled another bag as well!  It feels good to get the stuff out of the house, creating space for the new things to come! :D

My girlfriend I've known since I was 7 is coming down next weekend, she is coming to my Saturday bootcamp with me so we will see how good her training has been for her! :D 

So this is the plan, I keep training till next week.  Then I'm basically being ordered to take a fortnight rest EEEK!!!!! Then I'll have one month to get back into training for 10km Sydney Olympic Park run.  So my break period will be interesting as I cope with resting and focus on keeping my eating on track.  The expectation from my trainers aside from some well deserved recovery is some muscle loss which I can well afford especially if my dexa scan shows an increase.  If I play it all right I should be able to meet my final weight goal.  So then playing maintenance until Christmas will be a good way to end the year!  One hopes! :D

Oh and another goal I'm adding in for next year is to do the Harbour Bridge climb with my sister!  She refuses to do any fun runs with me but has said she'd like to do the climb!

It's Sunday today and I just have to say it's been just a gloriously beautiful day!  Enjoy your week!

Letting the past go....

Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been for me.  So many things have started clicking in my head it's almost a little overwhelming, but exciting too.

On the weekend I finally weighed in in the 70's, this has been like such an unbelievable pipe dream for me, in fact I don't recall the 70's I just remember being in high school and being about 80+kg and going to Weight Watchers with my mum and having them tell me I should weigh like 63kg's and thinking that it was all so hard.  Of course my body composition is VERY different these days, I must pull out some pictures from that time and compare them to now, just to see the differences.  I know I was softer that's for sure, and I remember size 14, I don't ever remember size 12 or 10's, not that that means much with sizing's these days! hehehehehe

Speaking of school I had my 20 year high school reunion on Saturday night.  Now high school was a bit up and down for me, I was never one of the popular girls, but I was friends with someone I considered popular.  I always felt like one of those girls who sat on the fringe of a couple of groups but never really fit in per se.  And mostly was ignored by the boys or teased.... I didn't start this high school till Year 8 so I didn't have the primary school connections and there were times some of the other girls were pretty mean, leaving banana peels and their rubbish in my school bag, general high school jinx.  Or just being general cows as girls can sometimes be in high school, having said that I was no princess I did my own share of ignoring and bitching, I could say it was self defence.... actually I am happy to say I am not one of those people who wishes they could go back and relive their high school years because they were the best times of their lives. 

Not that it was all bad, I had some great friends and some really fun times, I just never felt I really fit in.  So to go back looking great guns, to see some of the mean girls had put on weight (I know it's mean but we are human right) and to get comments from guys that wouldn't give you the time of day at school, that you look great and well done, well it was well worth it! Mostly it was worth reconnecting with a couple of lost girlfriends and trying to recognise the majority of the guys who now with receeding hairlines and beards looked nothing like their high school boyish days!

So for me I'm able to let some ghost's rest and leave my school days pretty much behind me.  Which goes well with some of the other things that have come up for me over the last couple of weeks, including figuring out what I really DON'T want in a relationship and how realising being happy in me and my life is going to really be key in finding the right relationship more than anything else.

I've started doing some clearing out at home and have plans for a big spring clean, I really need to let go of some "stuff" and make a clear path for all the new positive things coming into my life. :D

In the meantime, I'm prepping for my upcoming birthday with the goal of hitting the 70's before then already ticked off! :D

PS As you can see from the pic I went with my hot blue top again seeing I loved it so much, doesn't pop as much with a faded spray tan, dressed down with jeans.... still felt pretty good managed to keep the shoes on for about half the night, had a lot of people say thank god when I took them off as they hadn't remembered me so tall.... hahahahha

A Day of Gratitude

I just wanted to take a moment of reflection today to say thank you to all the lovely people out there who've been supporting me during the past 15 months and continue to do so, cheering me on, pushing me forward and even sometimes pulling me along.

My wonderful soul sister, Wendy, who I credit this day to saving my life by having a conversation with me last April and encouraging the both of us to share our weight loss together.

Trainer Luke, who got me started and went gently enough with me in the beginning that I kept coming back.

Trainer Christian, who showed me that I was capable of so much more than I ever imagined.

To all the wonderful people on CK that take the time to comment on my blog, you all keep calling me an inspiration but you have no idea how inspirational you all are, I'm not going to name names because I'm sure I'll leave someone out and feel bad, but I love you all.

My friends and work colleagues, who have all been so encouraging, telling me how great and well and healthy I look and have supported me, sponsored me and encouraged me all the way along!  And still continue to!

To my wonderful new boot camp girlfriends who helped me rediscover the party girl in me!

Trainer Heath (Trainer Nate's brother) and his wife Maria for their encouragement and support particularly with Hypoxi.

And then of course last but never least Trainer Nate.... who continues to show me how to believe in what I'm capable of, how to continue to strive for the best me I can be, and who inspires me and so many others to live, laugh and love in the now and to enjoy it with as much zest and passion as possible!

I christen today my day of gratitude and even though these two little words can truly not express all that I feel, I simply say thank you.  Thank you all! x

Enough slacking off...

OK, so I'm moving forward with my plan, I have had to have a talking to myself, because I just feel like I've slacked off, nothing too major just eating a bit more than I should be and not taking my exercise to the max, and slacking off from my runs. 

So my birthday is in 31 days so I'm committed to hitting everything hard for the next four weeks and maximising my results.  I did a big shop and cook up yesterday, so everything is in place it's time for me to follow suit.

Trainer Nate and his brother want me to have another Dexa scan after this round of Hypoxi, and I want it to be worth their effort and mine to do this!  I'm set up with seeing Trainer Christian on Monday's in addition to my other boot camps and we have the Bridge Run on the 19th September so there's no room for slacking off, I can save that for my birthday weekend! :D

I just bought a hot new outfit and I'm wearing it out Saturday night (apparently I'm getting a spray tan too) the top is strapless and blue, both new for my wardrobe, and I even went and got properly fitted for a strapless bra so the top looks it's best!  The following week I have my High School Reunion so there's lots going on and lots of things I need to look my best for, and then to round it off at the end of the month my own birthday which will be a bit of rebirth in of itself!  Last year I was still about 110kg so this year is just going to be fantastic! 

So my head is down my bum is up and I'm going to see myself into the 70's before I am 38! :D  Wish me luck!

Making a plan....

OK, so after a night out to the AFL with the girls and a rest day on Sunday, I've decided to go ahead with another round of Hypoxi, it's only four weeks and will finish with still a week or so to go till my birthday.

So I've decided to include visits to Trainer Christian on Mondays, for the 4 weeks as well for that extra push.

So my schedule will look like:

Mon: Trainer Christian

Tues: Boot camp

Wed: Hypoxi

Thurs: Boot camp

Fri: Hypoxi

Sat: Boot camp & Hypoxi

Sun: Run

It looks full on I know I can trade out a boot camp or the Sunday run for rests where needed, and some boot camps may involve an additional running session with the girls in training for our 9km, some sprints and the like.  Hypoxi days if I do nothing else are relatively easy almost like rest days! It's only for four weeks and I feel really motivated to get as close as possible to goal before my birthday as I can, it would be a great way to ring in another year!  Also if I do similar cm results that should quite easily result in another dress size.

I like having a schedule to run with, since I've been back from the snow I've had no particular routine so to speak, and it leaves me feeling unfocussed!

The session with Trainer Christian last night was at his new studio I haven't seen before, it boasts a nice hill up to the end of the cul-de-sac that he likes to send us up and down inbetween sets of pushups, squats and sit ups!  He and Trainer Nate would get on so well they are both sadistic bastards sometimes hehehehehehhe!  But it felt good to really work hard, and with no one else there that I really knew I could just focus and get on with it.  At one stage we had to do the hill 3 times, I tell you I had to keep saying in my head over and over if you did the City 2 Surf you can do this!  He said if we needed to walk so be it but damn it I wanted to show him and myself I could run it, so I really pushed myself to keep running at the top of the cul-de-sac I kept saying get your breath back here on the down hill run.

I also realised despite my excessive picture taking I'm still not quite caught up in how I really look (I even took a pic of myself in my workout gear, to see how I looked, and was surprised to find my hips weren't as big as I expected them to be! Weird hey!  Still some work to do on my thighs though bahahahahah!).  One of the other girls in my class had also done Hypoxi and was showing us her results, and I was shocked that our measurements were so close, because in my head I saw myself as bigger than her, but I was forced to really look at her and see that I was of a similar size (chunkier thighs!) it was eye opening but hard to process at the same time. I still cringe a little inside before I see a photo expecting to see the 130kg I used to be I suppose.  I mean I think I dress like someone who realises they've lost weight, I just can't always seem to see it! It's definitely an ongoing process!

PS My shirt says Your Life Begins Now!  I have about 4 of them that all say different things, they look like Lorna Jane shirts but cost 10 bucks from Big W! hehehehehe

Making the decision or letting it make you....

I've found myself a little tired this week.  Been doing a lot of thinking.  And I just feel a little caught in the middle.  See I'm not quite where I want to be yet, and to get to where I want to be, I need to make more changes in my life... but part of my is still trying to catch up with all the changes I've already made!  She just wants to take a breath and learn how to really grasp and "believe" that these changes and accomplishments she's made are real and she's not going to wake up tomorrow and be fat again!  And so caught in the middle of all of this is the me that is tired and feels like she needs a little break from it all! 

I ran into a friend I'd seen about six weeks ago, and oh my, she made such a fuss that you would have thought she hadn't seen me for a year!  Don't get me wrong I love the positive feedback, but really that much of a change in six weeks, I don't see these changes in the mirror! Maybe I had just dressed really well that day! hahahahaha  People keep using the word skinny to describe me, I find that one really DIFFICULT.  It makes me want to lift up my top and show them my tummy rolls or my flabby thighs.  Healthy yes, slimmer than I used to be yes, skinny, nah! 

Maybe I just need a few early nights and then I just have to suck it up and make the decisions that need to be made and get off my arse and do what needs to be done.

I'm out of any kind of routine at the moment have been since I came back from the snow.  My morning boot camp classes were supposed to start up again next week but have been postponed again.  I'm not too devastated about it, I've formed a great bond with the girls in my evening class, but I had made some plans based on the morning stuff and now I have to redo it all again.  I want to get out to see my sister's trainer (Trainer Christian) and I need to keep some running going for the next couple of fun runs.  But on top of that my trainer wants me to do another round of Hypoxi, and well my results were so fabulous last time the idea of another 4kg's and 30 something cm's in 4 weeks would have me VERY close to my goal weight!  The bonus being there would be a really good focus on my legs which is where my Dexa scan identified would be the best place to lose weight from. 

So that would mean 3 boot camps a week, a session a week with Trainer Christian, 2 runs a week and 3 Hypoxi's.... seems like a lot hey, but I guess the Hypoxi is so light weight and easy (I'm lucky to get a 250 cal burn from it) it's just like a warm up really.  Is too much on top 6 other sessions?  For four weeks to just get that push to the goal post?

For some reason at least when I'm focused I don't feel this tired.  I like knowing what I've got to do and just going to do it...... I don't want to decide by default, I'm just not 100% sure what to do right now.

What do you girls think?

Edit: Before I even got a chance to post this I had a call from Trainer Nate, and had a bit of a chat to him about it.  Nevertheless I'm curious to know what some of you out there who follow my blog think? x

There's a new party girl in town and she's me!

Well I had a bit of a sulky day on Friday, I'll even admit it bled a little into Saturday, but we had a good morning boot camp session that helped drive the cobwebs away. After a refreshing shower it was off to my sister's for a birthday bar-b-q.  My nephew turned 18!  It's always lovely, we always have a good laugh and a lovely lunch and catch up on all our gossip. 

I have a friend who turned 40 during the week and had arranged dinner in the evening, so late afternoon I headed off home to get changed.  I didn't know any of the other people going to the dinner (not that that was an issue, I need to get out and meet new people), but I did invite one of newer friends from Boot camp (Friend 1 - just makes it easier right! :D), as she had nothing to do anyway!  We had a lovely time!  The people were a hoot and the food was delicious.  We ended up chatting quite a bit to a lovely gay couple who we employed the use of their gaydar while checking out the rest of the room! hehehehehehe.

Later we got a text from another friend (Friend 2) who was not having a good evening, our other friend (Friend 3) had mentioned that she'd be at the Ivy that night for a birthday so if we wanted to head on down we should.  So we decided what the heck, friend 2 met us at friend 1's house and we grabbed a cab and headed on down to the Ivy to meet Friend 3.  Anyway we eventually found Friend 3 and we even ran into Trainer Nate, who was well... somewhat hammered, which was pretty funny!! But seeing he now has access to this blog I'll refrain from further comments!  (*Hi Trainer Nate! ;P*)  Like last time the four us girls were out we had a lovely night and met some of Friend 3's friends and danced and laughed which is always the sign of a good night to me!

Sometimes I feel like I am re-living my 30's the way they were meant to be lived.... I've never been a big party/clubbing girl, but I know if I want to meet someone I have to actually put myself into situations where I am 1. getting out there and 2. meeting new people.  And I really feel I'm starting to do that, and not only just do it, but enjoy doing it!  And it helps that my new friends are single too!

However, there is a disclaimer... hahahahahaha I am going to have to watch those late nights, I didn't get home till about 4am and I think I'm still recovering!

Watch this space if your interested in my ongoing night endeavours, I believe there is more to come! hehehehehe

Snow beautiful snow!

I'm skiing!!!!

I'm baaaack! Oh I don't even know where to begin.  I had the most AWESOME time!

So let's see.... we left very early and I mean VERY early 3am on Tuesday morning.  We stopped for coffee and later for breakfast and a petrol top up.  Then we stopped at the hire place before heading up the mountain.

Now just putting on your ski boots and walking from the car park to the snow entrance with your ski's is a workout in itself, seriously you need a nap by the time you get there! hahaha

Did I mention that Trainer Nate was also going down the snow the same week, total coincidence, I go over to get my day ticket with a lesson and come back to the car and who has pulled up beside me in the car park.... yep Trainer Nate and his mates, HOW FREAKY is that! hehehehehehe.  Anyway that was the last I saw of him so I hope he made it home in one piece!

Sometimes it's in the little things...

So my Hypoxi results came in, whilst it should have been 4 weeks, I had to squeeze in the 12 sessions into 3.5 weeks, so I was done before my snow trip.  So in 3.5 weeks I lost 3.8kg (which at this stage of the game for me is phenomenal).  And 37cm from my waist, tummy, hips, thighs to the knee!  Typically the average for 12 session is about 25cm.  I did go in quite skeptical but I have to say 6cm from my thighs is pretty astounding I'd struggle to do a 1cm in a month, so I am converted that it does help accelerate your results.  

I went back to my old spreadsheets, and a 4kg loss never equated to more than a 10cm loss, so the proof is in my pudding and well my size 12 target dress right! 

How far I've come...

I know I take a lot of pictures of myself!  I guess I'm still trying to grasp how I really look these days!

Had to show my new size 12 shift dress.  I don't know if you can see the little twinkles from the diamontes at the bottom of the dress?  Otherwise it's pretty plain, that's what makes it so pretty to me.

I was worried it was a bit snug but everyone at work loved it, guess I will just have to keep reminding myself that this is all real! :D

So I was looking at some of my old blogs from CK that aren't here on my blogspot blog, I thought there were some real gems that deserve to be here, so today I add this one that I found, mind you these comments are from very early this year, but they still ring true for me and my journey.

Yesterday (this was back in January 2010) I got to thinking about how far I have come and all the things I learnt last year, some of the big ones include:

• That this is not dieting, dieting = deprivation which = failure
• Focussing on a healthy lifestyle
• Making better choices in food, exercise and lifestyle
• That this is for life NOT just for 12 months or 6 weeks or whatever
• That identifying your issues and doing something about them are two very different things
• Water is important
• An all or nothing attitude is about as helpful as the latest fad diet
• That these things that you learn can bleed into other areas of your life for the better!
• That I am a worthwhile person, who deserves to be happy
• That support really does help, but at the end of the day you are the one that has to do the hard work, and that is very satisfying
• That all those things you think you can never do really are possible
• That confidence and being truly happy makes me a better person to be around
• That I enjoy hanging out with myself again too
• That feeling this good REALLY does feel better than shoving a block of chocolate or a bag of chips in my gob
• That exercise makes me feel good and keeps me motivated to eat better and makes me want to do things I never thought I'd do
• To stop referring to myself as fundamentally lazy as that constant negative talk becomes truth if you don't stop it, and after the last couple of months I've proved that actually I AM NOT THAT!

So I am officially on holiday! Yippee!

A moment....

Because of my excessive training schedule of late (which thankfully is about to let up), I've been rotating 3 different sizes of workout pants.  My regular size 14's and what I thought were 2 12's but turned out one has a size 10 tag in them, and I didn't even notice!  Last night I had to retire the 14's as they were practically falling off me, even one of the girls I train with mentioned how baggy they were in the bottom.

So I thought I'd run up to Tar-jay and grab an alternate pair, of course there's a bunch of new things and I always like to have a squizz and see what's on sale, and there I was walking through the aisles looking at some of the new pretty summer dresses that are already hitting the shelves, and this lightbulb went off in my head.  For so many years I've looked at these clothes and wished I could wear these pretty things.... and in an overwhelming moment I realised I was no longer wishing, I could take the item right now and wear it.

Busy busy busy....

Firstly thank you for my awards! I know I have some things to do in receiving them, it may have to wait till I get back from the snow and have more time up my sleeve, but thank you so much, I'm honoured! :D

So this is the last week for Hypoxi, I finish up on Saturday and will have some results to post. 

So I'd increased to 10km on my running, decided to try a 12-13km on the weekend, got to about 12km and thought why the heck would I not try to do an actual 14km (which is what the City 2 Surf is).  So I just did!  So now I've hit that target I'm happier in my mind, especially seeing next week I'll be down the snow, and then the week after that I'm supposed to be tapering my training.  So I know I can do it, I have a nice set of hills and undulations in my course that I run, so I think I'm set.  Just need to pull up good on the day! :D  I found sipping gatorade good, and will down a gel at about the 10km mark to push the last few km home.  Now I just need to figure out what time I need to get to Bondi Junction that will allow me enough time to get the train into the City! urgh I hate public transport!

Write a book????

Hidee hoedy.... I'm still here training away, I had boot camp on Saturday followed by Hypoxi again, (yes Saturday boot camp is at Balmoral beach just at the bottom of Awaba St, come and find me and say hi, I don't think my trainers would mind people coming by it's $25 for the session!).

Sunday complete rest day it feels a bit weird to not do anything but last week and the next 3 weeks are flat out so I knew it was important to take the rest. 

Monday I put on my work pants, and was very surprised to find them already looser, so I'm completely fascinated now to see my results at the end of this four weeks with Hypoxi, coupled with my trainer telling me that the snow will also make me drop some weight (just walking to the ski lifts is an effort apparently! :D), and then my Dexa scan I'm excited to see what the next few weeks hold, and how far away from goal I'll actually be.

So the funniest thing at the moment is a bunch of people telling me I should write a book! bahahahahahah funny right?  Apparently my story is not snoozable to all around me... just me hehehehehehe, Trainer Nate is already brainstorming names for it! Wanna hear something even funnier.... last night I wrote the dedication in my head.... hehehehehehe.

I am legend... kind of....

So do you wanna know how funny Trainer Nate thought he was last night?  Maybe I should back up for a minute, see I thought telling him about my bruised knees and my copious amounts of burpees and man pushups from Tuesday might have him feeling a little sorry for me.... gosh could I have been more wrong.  It seems he felt the need to go and do more research on some more exciting things he could make me do.

So first of all we had to run down a flight of stairs and up a hill twice but heck he thought it would be funny to hand me a 12kg kettlebell to run with..... WTF!

Then he proceeded to show me some new moves he has planned for me, one being take the 12kg kettlebell and do a swing, control it on the way back down, when it touches the floor balance on it and proceed to do a burpee, once legs are outstretched and you've managed to not tip the kettlebell over do a pushup and then pop back up.... so the last thing he made everyone do was 5 burpees (mind you during boxing I already had done 5 that no one else had to do but whatever! hehhehe), so I told him I would do 3 of his fandagaled moves, to which he agreed, so both of us were surprised when I managed to do them including the close grip pushup ontop of the kettlebell, so I did 5 cause he said come on you can do 5, so I do what I'm told and I did.

Training training training....

Ok so busy week, I finally took a proper run... despite hitting an 11 on my beep test last week, I hadn't done a proper run since before I got sick, so I headed off on Monday night headphones blaring and did my 5.5km circuit and I was OK! hehehehehe

Tuesday I was off to my sisters and Trainer Christian, I haven't seen him for a while with all the upheaval of boot camp in the evenings and so on.  And yes Trainer Nate was OK with me trading out his session because it's the start of a new cycle and so all the newbies were being tested anyway.  He and Trainer Christian have a little bromance going on via me, they seem to get big kicks out of hearing how hard each of them push me! Bastards! hehehehehehehe

Scary, Exciting and Honest....

So I just did something really scary and exciting all at the same time, I filled in my entry for the City 2 Surf.  So now that I've entered it's no longer a possibility of something I might do, it's a... I'm really gonna do this sucker type thing! 

Trainer Nate is adamant I run it all, so I'm really going to focus my training on endurance rather than speed, and try my best.

There is another cracker of a post today by Craig Harper, hop on over and read it, it's called What's your food issue?  But it's the talk about honesty with oneself and other's that really struck my chords.... see if I have to come down to some definitive point about what it is that has worked for me this time when nothing did before it really is about me, me being honest with myself, being honest with others, calling myself out on my own bullshit, not getting upset when those around me call me out on my bullshit (luckily I have some great people in my life who do so and thus I am able to learn from it!) and getting out of my own damn way so I can move forward. 

This is something that really drives me in my training too, see I'm a little bit of a nazi when it comes to my reps, if I'm told to do a certain number, then I have to do every single one I'm told to do, even if it means watching other's short change themselves to finish quicker, even if it means I'm last to finish even if it means like on Saturday I was a full exercise behind everyone else.... I know that if I want the results I have to put in the effort 110%, and man I get it done.   

I still struggle and that's OK too, I've learnt different ways to deal with these things when they arise, to be able to look at them and see them for what they are, I might sulk for a day or two but I don't let things derail me, it's been a HUGE learning curve and continues to be, but by god it's been worth it! :D  And there's still more to come, I'm excited now to see what the future brings!  And there's certainly a big future out there waiting to embrace me, I'm sure of it! :D

Published!!!

Well how exciting was yesterday for me.  A few months ago I was approached by my boot camp companies publicity company, following that I spoke to a journalist about my journey including sending them some pictures.

But that was all I heard about it, I thought it musn't be going ahead, or I had too much to say! heheheheh, the next issue of the magazine came out and I all but forgot about it.

Yesterday I am standing in a newsagency and see the new issue of Australian Shape has come out, I look at the cover and there's a headline "How Nicole Dropped 40 kilos", I think hahahahah that's my name on the cover, but that can't be me because I didn't hear anything else about it.... so I flick through the mag and find the page and HOLY SHIT!!! It's me! hahahahahahaha

So I'm minorly disappointed that I wasn't able to update my weightloss and everyone at work has commented that I've lost weight again since the picture in the magazine, but what the heck am I complaining about!  I'm in a magazine! hehehehehe

Do you know how many times I read those stories and wished it was me..... A LOT!!! And now it is me!  And to top it all off it's the anniversary of losing my mum this week so how funny that it came out this week, a sign for sure as far as I'm concerned!

So I plan on writing to them when I hit goal with an update but until then my story will stand as it is right?!

If you want to check the article out it's Australian Shape magazine (it's new this year to Oz only the third issue), and I'm on page 20.  The bastardised a couple of my comments and a couple of minor errors but overall the spirit and idea is correct! :D

Off to training tonight where I'm sure my trainer will be grinning from ear to ear and probably have some new kind of torture waiting for me! hehehehehhehe

Sick...

So here I am almost better, a week and a half ago my trainer told me to take a couple of days off in a row...

I was already getting sick it wasn't enough to stop it, so a few days off work, loads of sleep in's and no exercise at all and while lots of fluids but not nearly enough water, (unless all the water in my Jarrah's does in fact count), I'm back off to training tonight, half excited to get back into it, half terrified that in a week and a half of nothing I've lost all my fitness! Eeek!

That's all really not too much to say when all you've done is spend time in bed, on the lounge or chucking away snotty tissues!

Hope you are all well and firing on all cylinders.

Here's a link to today's Craig Harper's blog, it's a great one for those people you know who claim they don't eat alot or they eat really healthy!

http://www.craigharper.com.au/exercise-weight-loss/incidental-eating-the-food-we-eat-when-we%e2%80%99re-not-eating/

Make your life a mission, not an intermission...

There's an amazing thing that happens when you open up your life to change... even in struggle, the universe continues to send us signs, or even things and people we need.  The trick is in seeing them and making them count.

For me the other day it was the quote on training and applying how you train to life.

Today it was an article in the new Oxygen magazine, by Jennifer Atkins on embracing change....

This is my favourite paragraph:

"Something magical happens when we accept responsibility for our behaviour and our results.  This isn't easy because it's human nature to 'pass the buck.'  I know there have been times in my life when I was struggling to accept my circumstances where I found myself blaming others, blaming this, blaming that.  Now, when things go wrong in my business or personal life I can always find the culprit in the mirror.  In every instance, it's the choices I've made in my life that have put me exactly where I am today.  This one tweak in attitude may sound like a little thing, but it has made a big difference in my life.  

One of the most important things you can do in times of change is to understand that taking responsibility and recognising problems as a challenge or opportunity will help you grow and fulfil your true potential.  Do you know how remarkable you really are?"

It's that old cliche, when one door closes another one opens.... for years I  blamed everything and everyone else and even myself about my weight, I was lazy, it was too hard, I just liked chocolate too much.  I don't know what it was that changed but something clicked in me last year and I took the first steps to taking and accepting responsibility for me actions and choices, and this acceptance has led me here many kilos lighter, fitter than I've ever been.  

Now when I see articles and comments like the one above instead of pfiffing it and thinking sounds nice but it's all too hard I see them as green lights that are screaming... 'right on track,' and 'heading in the right direction'... sometimes it's uncomfortable and it hurts, but boy the growth and change and excitement and wonder has all been so worth it!

Remember:

"No one is in control of your happiness but you.  Therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change."  Barbara DeAngelis