Friday, August 20, 2010

Making the decision or letting it make you....

I've found myself a little tired this week.  Been doing a lot of thinking.  And I just feel a little caught in the middle.  See I'm not quite where I want to be yet, and to get to where I want to be, I need to make more changes in my life... but part of my is still trying to catch up with all the changes I've already made!  She just wants to take a breath and learn how to really grasp and "believe" that these changes and accomplishments she's made are real and she's not going to wake up tomorrow and be fat again!  And so caught in the middle of all of this is the me that is tired and feels like she needs a little break from it all! 

I ran into a friend I'd seen about six weeks ago, and oh my, she made such a fuss that you would have thought she hadn't seen me for a year!  Don't get me wrong I love the positive feedback, but really that much of a change in six weeks, I don't see these changes in the mirror! Maybe I had just dressed really well that day! hahahahaha  People keep using the word skinny to describe me, I find that one really DIFFICULT.  It makes me want to lift up my top and show them my tummy rolls or my flabby thighs.  Healthy yes, slimmer than I used to be yes, skinny, nah! 

Maybe I just need a few early nights and then I just have to suck it up and make the decisions that need to be made and get off my arse and do what needs to be done.

I'm out of any kind of routine at the moment have been since I came back from the snow.  My morning boot camp classes were supposed to start up again next week but have been postponed again.  I'm not too devastated about it, I've formed a great bond with the girls in my evening class, but I had made some plans based on the morning stuff and now I have to redo it all again.  I want to get out to see my sister's trainer (Trainer Christian) and I need to keep some running going for the next couple of fun runs.  But on top of that my trainer wants me to do another round of Hypoxi, and well my results were so fabulous last time the idea of another 4kg's and 30 something cm's in 4 weeks would have me VERY close to my goal weight!  The bonus being there would be a really good focus on my legs which is where my Dexa scan identified would be the best place to lose weight from. 

So that would mean 3 boot camps a week, a session a week with Trainer Christian, 2 runs a week and 3 Hypoxi's.... seems like a lot hey, but I guess the Hypoxi is so light weight and easy (I'm lucky to get a 250 cal burn from it) it's just like a warm up really.  Is too much on top 6 other sessions?  For four weeks to just get that push to the goal post?

For some reason at least when I'm focused I don't feel this tired.  I like knowing what I've got to do and just going to do it...... I don't want to decide by default, I'm just not 100% sure what to do right now.

What do you girls think?

Edit: Before I even got a chance to post this I had a call from Trainer Nate, and had a bit of a chat to him about it.  Nevertheless I'm curious to know what some of you out there who follow my blog think? x

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