Building a bridge....

So guess how much trouble Trainer Nate is in.... I seriously wanted to give him a couple of head bashes last night!  He was telling us this story on Wednesday about a fight he was watching where this guy just sat on the other guy and punched him like 300 times and the guy just took it... that's the kind of thing I was imagining last night!  BUT at the same time I have to accept my own personal responsibility, I knew from the beginning and I didn't push to get him to double check. 

WTF you are all saying, well we discovered that along with not being able to count, Trainer Nate, can't measure! :P  He had been measuring the beep test length incorrectly, which seems fair seeing he just takes 20 steps instead of using a tape measure.... so basically all my beep test results since the February have been false :(  (See it's all still about learning what you are willing to let yourself believe and what you are willing to face up to! :P)

Those extra three and a half extra feet don't seem like much until you are trying to beat that damn beep and you feel that the return shuttle is on a slope!  I'm whinging I know I'll build a bridge in a minute and get over it.

So the results sit like this:

Beep test: 11 (really going from last real test 5.5) ------------- 6.5 smaller improvement than I'd hoped (gonna try again in two weeks and aim to hit 7.1)
Pushups one minute: 54 ----- 53 (girl pushups - once you get over 50 it's a bit whatever! :D)
Wall sit: 315 secs ----------- 330 (5 mins 30 secs)
Plank: 140 secs ------------- 201 (3 mins 21 secs - last time was a bit pitiful, if I remember correctly my previous best is around the 3 min mark so I think this is a PB)
Flexibility: 16 --------------- tbc (I think I might have gone a little backwards on this but then again this was the first time he used a proper tape measure and not a guestimate on the paper pad - yep that's another dig at you dude because I can!)
Pushups one minute: 28 ----- 33 (guy pushups :D)

So no use whinging a lot about it really the beep test stuff goes back on the goals list I'd eventually like to build up to a 10, but have a way to go. 

Yes I admit it was somewhat demoralizing, only because it was such a huge drop and we all felt it almost immediately.  See sometimes this is why I like my smaller incremental improvements, I don't question those! hehehehe  BUT at the end of the day it's a mistake right!?  We are all human and it does not take away from the achievements I've made including the City 2 Surf, the fantastic dexa scan results, or how good I feel in my clothes right! :D

So I'm having a little sulk and tomorrow it's back to Balmoral and a busy weekend ahead with my nephews birthday lunch and a friends birthday dinner! 

Have a great weekend folks!

How far I've come...

I know I take a lot of pictures of myself!  I guess I'm still trying to grasp how I really look these days!

Had to show my new size 12 shift dress.  I don't know if you can see the little twinkles from the diamontes at the bottom of the dress?  Otherwise it's pretty plain, that's what makes it so pretty to me.

I was worried it was a bit snug but everyone at work loved it, guess I will just have to keep reminding myself that this is all real! :D

So I was looking at some of my old blogs from CK that aren't here on my blogspot blog, I thought there were some real gems that deserve to be here, so today I add this one that I found, mind you these comments are from very early this year, but they still ring true for me and my journey.

Yesterday (this was back in January 2010) I got to thinking about how far I have come and all the things I learnt last year, some of the big ones include:

• That this is not dieting, dieting = deprivation which = failure
• Focussing on a healthy lifestyle
• Making better choices in food, exercise and lifestyle
• That this is for life NOT just for 12 months or 6 weeks or whatever
• That identifying your issues and doing something about them are two very different things
• Water is important
• An all or nothing attitude is about as helpful as the latest fad diet
• That these things that you learn can bleed into other areas of your life for the better!
• That I am a worthwhile person, who deserves to be happy
• That support really does help, but at the end of the day you are the one that has to do the hard work, and that is very satisfying
• That all those things you think you can never do really are possible
• That confidence and being truly happy makes me a better person to be around
• That I enjoy hanging out with myself again too
• That feeling this good REALLY does feel better than shoving a block of chocolate or a bag of chips in my gob
• That exercise makes me feel good and keeps me motivated to eat better and makes me want to do things I never thought I'd do
• To stop referring to myself as fundamentally lazy as that constant negative talk becomes truth if you don't stop it, and after the last couple of months I've proved that actually I AM NOT THAT!

So I am officially on holiday! Yippee!

New Pictures and ramblings....

OK so here are the promised pics, me and my itty bitty waist hehehehehehe and then ye old faithful before picture with a nice new one, reminding everyone about the amazing shelf that once existed on my chest!  God I honestly thought that top in the before pictures looked OK! Eeeek!  Mirror mirror on the wall who is in the biggest denial of all! 

So I'm still adjusting, I find that there are times I just find the whole thing surreal, my breasts used to walk ahead of me into a room and were always touching people heheheheheh, now it's like wow where are they.  I'm having trouble getting used to my face again, it's me but it's not me, or it's the me I always wanted to be and now is but like really!?

I'm very happy how I look in clothes these days and by god, the other week I bought some size 12 workout pants, well I thought they were size 12, one of them is, but a pair I've been wearing I was folding up to put in my bag and I noticed the tag was size 10, and I'd been wearing them no worries!  Seriously size 10!!!!! Even at my biggest when I thought about losing weight a size 14 was like the ultimate and here I am in size 14 tops and size 12 pants and possibly moving into a size 10 I mean get out of town seriously!  I never imagined I could ever be a size 10 until now, sometimes it's all too much blowing my mind.

I still have wobbly bits in the wrong places, but I'm working on them.  I'm still unsure the final state of my bod, there's still time for things to fling into place.... or not! heheheheheheh  But gosh look at all the things I can do and have done, fun runs, skiing, city 2 surf, double boot camp sessions, man push ups, taking the stairs without thinking if nothing else, I've definitely pushed out a healthier and generally happier version of myself.

I think one of the most important things I'm grasping is that idea that maintenance again will be it's own journey.  It won't be the end goal and woo hoo go and do whatever you want.  There's going to be learning and tweaking and getting that all right as well and then keeping check with it.  I have found that it is important I grasp that NOW before I get there, I don't think I've done it and wind up back at square one, no siree!

Anyway I'm babbling, I just needed to get some of that out, my trainer says I should be blogging about my feelings and mindset, and blah blah blah! So you know, some nights I go to sleep terrified of waking up fat, which is funny because when I was fat I would go to sleep WISHING I would wake up slim and healthy!  I know it's not going to happen but it does truly take your brain a little time to catch up with your body. 

What about you? Have you lost a lot of weight and still find you are playing catch up, are you along somewhere in your journey and finding the changes in your body almost..... foreign, like you are inhabiting somebody else for a while?  All thoughts welcome! :D

GOAL......

..... well kind of!  You see when you are 130kg double figures is usually the main goal, and when you've been in triple figures for years, the idea of anything under that is a real wow!  So I had chosen 85kg because I thought is was a doable figure, far enough under triple figures to be maintainable but not unrealistic.

Of course by the time I managed to get out of triple figures I was already re-assessing my goal.  I had garnered developed enough belief that I could go further so I re-assessed my goal.  

But today is still worth celebrating for reaching my inital goal, and right dead-on the noggin!  85kg exactly on the scale this morning, which marks a suitable brand new beginning for that which I have planned over the next few weeks.

So let's look back for a little comparison they are so much fun! :D

Weight: 130 kg - 85kg = LTD 45kg

which equates to 99 pounds or 35% of my body weight

BMI: 42.0 - Morbidly Obese - 27.4 - Overweight (only 8kg away from a healthy BMI!)

I've lost over 140cm from bust, waist, hips, thigh and arm.

So pretty great stats if I do say so myself. 

Another 6 weeks, and more improvements

Can you believe it's been six weeks again already!!  Despite missing a week and a half (of work out only 2 boot camp sessions) from being sick I still managed improvements on all my tests including an additional one we all threw in for the heck of it.

So my trainer said mainly he was only interested in the beep test and push ups, he did throw a 12 out there for the beep test but it was just too much, I was very close to vomiting! ;D  11 is still good right! hehehehe

Six weeks ago: ------------- Six weeks on

Beep test: 10.1 --------------- 11
Pushups one minute: 47----- 54 (girl pushups)
Wall sit: 181 secs ----------- 315 (5 mins 15 secs)
Plank: 187 secs ------------- 240 (4 mins)
Flexibility: 16 --------------- tbc

Pushups one minute: 0 ----- 28 (guy pushups - this one is new!) 

Have an opportunity to try out something new, will be blogging more about it later, need to check it all out first and once I know what's involved I'll be sharing.  Trainer Nate feels it will really help me push on to my goal quicker and it's being incorporated into my current regime so we will see. 

Might just keep doing the beep test and man push ups and find some other way to measure improvements, the rest seem to be becoming a little redundant and it's hard to push the plank and wall sit over the 5 minute mark without blowing the session out by the time we do everything else and warm up and cool down, on top of with both my trainers have found the wall sit to be pretty redundant.  

Any way, hope you are all having a good week and that exciting doors and opportunities are also opening for you as the seem to be for me at the moment!

Endurance...

As promised I took a picture in my new dress, with my boots, hehehehehe I think I'll ask to be buried in my precious boots, anyway I like the picture better than my one from 2 days ago, so I'm adding it as well! :D

Had a really hard double session yesterday, Trainer Nate truly hammered me, I had a 1300 calorie burn a max heart rate of 95% and an average of 80%.  While somewhat disappointed as there were times the word vomit entered my head so I thought I had maxed my heart rate I was pleased with the average, and just general pleased with my ability to complete the sessions, with boxing up second and several sets of burpees, I even impressed myself with my endurance, I guess! :D

Tomorrow we are boxing first and second session is a circuit so I shall see how that makes a difference and what new series of torture Trainer Nate can consider for me!  It's an interesting change but I am hoping my morning classes will be back soon.

Happy hump day all, hope you are all eating well, exercising hard, and working through those issues one step at a time!

Finally thanks to all the lovelies who left comments on my blog at CK and the lovely Berys who even commented twice!  You are all MY inspiration! :D

Over the 42 mark....

Now that I've hit over 42kg lost (that's 93.3 pounds!) I decided it was time for a new photo, I've kept it casual but my top is a $7 bargain buy from K-mart hehehehe I love the sale racks these days as there is often stuff I can find that fits.

While the scale weight has been slower of late, I'm still losing cm's I notice it in my clothes, in fact I had to go out and buy new pants in 12's my 14's were just feeling too loose! (Drama! hahahaah NOT!).

I also got myself a pair of skinny jeans, whilst I always thought I'd never buy a pair I didn't realise they are the best jeans to wear with knee high boots!  Don't mock me about it OK..... I never had knee high boots before either! :D  I have a new dress too I may take a photo of it later in the week!

One Year Anniversary

It's been a celebratory weekend.  I started it off with a new PB on my 3.4km run beating last months time of 23:31 with a 22.20!

This weekend is the one year anniversary of the start of my journey.  And what a journey it's been.

Last week and this weekend I did some shopping!  It's so hard to stop!  But come on everyone needs two pairs of jeans right?  One to wear and one in the wash.... that's my excuse and I am sticking to it!

Bringing you up to speed...

So here we are, it's been 11 months, and over 35 kg's later we are making some great progress.  Only 0.6 of a BMI point to move out of obese and into overweight.  I don't put my stock completely into individual figures BMI can have fundamental flaws as it doesn't take into account muscle composition, still it's one tool to use amongst others at least for progress comparison.

Click the picture to see the larger version and compare the stats.

It's interesting to look at before photos, for me it's the fundamental look of saddness I see.  Compared to the later pictures, my friends and colleagues tell me I have quite a glow about me these days, and even I notice I smile MUCH more.

I still have another 20 kg's I'd like to lose, so if you'd like to hear about what I've been doing and what I'm going to do, please follow along!

Here's the latest first to last comparison shot, I'll look at doing these every 6 to 8 weeks.