Tuesday, July 13, 2010

New Pictures and ramblings....

OK so here are the promised pics, me and my itty bitty waist hehehehehehe and then ye old faithful before picture with a nice new one, reminding everyone about the amazing shelf that once existed on my chest!  God I honestly thought that top in the before pictures looked OK! Eeeek!  Mirror mirror on the wall who is in the biggest denial of all! 

So I'm still adjusting, I find that there are times I just find the whole thing surreal, my breasts used to walk ahead of me into a room and were always touching people heheheheheh, now it's like wow where are they.  I'm having trouble getting used to my face again, it's me but it's not me, or it's the me I always wanted to be and now is but like really!?

I'm very happy how I look in clothes these days and by god, the other week I bought some size 12 workout pants, well I thought they were size 12, one of them is, but a pair I've been wearing I was folding up to put in my bag and I noticed the tag was size 10, and I'd been wearing them no worries!  Seriously size 10!!!!! Even at my biggest when I thought about losing weight a size 14 was like the ultimate and here I am in size 14 tops and size 12 pants and possibly moving into a size 10 I mean get out of town seriously!  I never imagined I could ever be a size 10 until now, sometimes it's all too much blowing my mind.

I still have wobbly bits in the wrong places, but I'm working on them.  I'm still unsure the final state of my bod, there's still time for things to fling into place.... or not! heheheheheheh  But gosh look at all the things I can do and have done, fun runs, skiing, city 2 surf, double boot camp sessions, man push ups, taking the stairs without thinking if nothing else, I've definitely pushed out a healthier and generally happier version of myself.

I think one of the most important things I'm grasping is that idea that maintenance again will be it's own journey.  It won't be the end goal and woo hoo go and do whatever you want.  There's going to be learning and tweaking and getting that all right as well and then keeping check with it.  I have found that it is important I grasp that NOW before I get there, I don't think I've done it and wind up back at square one, no siree!

Anyway I'm babbling, I just needed to get some of that out, my trainer says I should be blogging about my feelings and mindset, and blah blah blah! So you know, some nights I go to sleep terrified of waking up fat, which is funny because when I was fat I would go to sleep WISHING I would wake up slim and healthy!  I know it's not going to happen but it does truly take your brain a little time to catch up with your body. 

What about you? Have you lost a lot of weight and still find you are playing catch up, are you along somewhere in your journey and finding the changes in your body almost..... foreign, like you are inhabiting somebody else for a while?  All thoughts welcome! :D


  1. I have had 9 months to get used to the "new" (but not final!!) me... and I am still struggling. I've pretty much just been maintaining since August last year (well, that's like 10, 11 months now, wow) and I still catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window and wonder who's wearing my coat... or trying on a size 14 vest and realising, that it genuinely is too big, instead of just kidding myself.

    Let's not talk about the off the cuff photos that I find myself in, not only if my face skinnier, but I think it's a darker colour that it was before, lol. I get so confused wondering who that tan person is that has my eyes...

    I guess it's going to take some time. I never saw myself as big as I was, in denial. I guess starting CK made me finally see that person... and now I am confused seeing the person that I was meant to be?

    Inititally I was going to stop when I got to where I am now (hence the mental barrier) so to go further is going to freak me out even more... but here we are, mental barriers and all, pushing boundaries.

    Took me 25 years to get here... I guess it'll take a few more years to get used to the "new" body :)

  2. I left you an award on my blog today chick :)

  3. Just found your blog, congratulations and wow! Those are amazing before and afters! I completely understand what you mean about catching up, though I'm not completely there yet. I just posted my own before and after pictures for the first time today, and startled myself with how different I look. It's bizarre, isn't it? We walk around with such a different perception of how we look than reality presents us. It really has taken the pictures to jar me back into reality, both how big I had actually gotten and how skinny I am becoming now. Anyways, you look great, and I hope you're enjoying the new you.

  4. P.S. I know someone left you an award above, but I feel compelled to do the same! I just discovered your blog and I'm hooked enough to read it forward, and this one is for newly discovered blogs that you dig. If you don't do such things, feel free to ignore. Best!

  5. Hi Tia...I was going to say, I have something for you on my blog, but oops, looks like 2 others have beat me to it... oh well, here's another! LOL! PS...congrats on your weight loss, you look fantastic and are an inspiration to others that have just started out.