Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I've seen my excuses, now what? (How to get over yourself)...

Make sure you've read Excuses, Excuses, Excuses first, as this is like a part 2'er!

So I've been having a little think about my excuses post and I suppose the next logical question would be once you've identified them, how do you put not accepting them into practice. I've had a long hard think about this especially as reading the forum can drive you a little insane with excuse after excuse after excuse just falling out from people. There's a mirad of strategies you can employ different ones work for different people you may have to try one or two before you find the one that hits home for you, but you know what the first thing is that you have to do.... the thing I realised I had to do.... you have to GET OVER YOURSELF. Get out of your own way, stop humming and ahhhing and thinking about all the reasons you have for not doing it or for not succeeding before, get off your arse and just DO IT! Nike were not stupid when they took this up for a slogan.

It may sound harsh but it's really true you have to get over yourself before you can make any steps in moving forward. I realised one day I was just over it, I was sick and tired of being fat, it was making me miserable it wasn't helping reach any of my goals, it certainly wasn't helping me meet someone to share my life with but what it was doing was leading me straight into an early grave or a reality TV show on how one day I woke up and couldn't get out of bed!
I guess you have to find that part of you that wants to be healthy much more than being fat, much more than that momentary feeling of pleasure or comfort that food gives you, you have to find those feelings from somewhere else.

You then have to learn to temper that all or nothing attitude because it will get you NOWHERE! All it got me was lose 10kg put on 20kg. All the way up to 130kg. When I lived in England I had a morbidly obese friend who died just before I came back to Australia from complications, he was 34. I used to think how could he have let himself get that far, I really thought at the time it was something I'd always remember and never do to myself but geez we can really REALLY FOOL ourselves, and denial is an amazingly powerful thing and at 130kg my BMI was 42 - morbidly obese. Shockingly it's much easier to get there than we even know.

Really I've come to realise that that All or Nothing Attitude is simply another excuse, an excuse to give up when we feel it's all gotten a bit too hard, rather than going OK, I over ate today, I didn't exercise today, SO WHAT! We are so unkind to ourselves, pick yourself off, dust yourself off and keep going. It's not one day that undoes all your hard work, it's that one day that you let turn into every other day.

So now that I've gotten that off my chest what are some of the things I've found that worked for me? 

  • It's about more than identifying issues, it's about truly dealing with them. You know when people say feel the feeling, it's uncomfortable, but we've spent so long stuffing our emotions down if you don't feel the bad with the good, you dull the good as well.

  • Find other ways to deal with your emotions. We've all heard it, go exercise, go for a walk, a run, a class, call a friend, clean a cupboard, we spend all our time distracting ourselves with food, FIND ANOTHER WAY TO DISTRACT YOURSELF!

  • Exercise! Remember you don't have to go hell for leather, start off walking a couple of times a week, I did! The more I did and the more weight I lost the more I wanted to do. Exercise releases the same endorphins we get when we eat our comfort foods, but I have come to find that the high from exercise lasts SOOOOOO much longer and is so much more worthwhile!

  • Plan. We all know that no matter how much we prepare or plan things can go astray, so plan for the unexpected. Keep things like small packets of fruit and nuts, protein bars, or even a piece of fruit in your handbag. Research the best options for when you find yourself caught out and about. Understand that even if you find no other choice than McDonalds, that a salad and a sweet chilli chicken wrap are your better options. Look at meal planning and shop to that plan, cook double and keep spare portions in the freezer, so that when you can't be bothered there is still something at hand. All those commonsense things we think about, DO THEM!

  • Don't keep things that tempt you in the house. These days I can keep a block of dark chocolate in the house and portion it out to myself. Two weeks ago I decided to try a dessert I'd seen a few people do, small meringue nests, with my homemade yoghurt and fruit... guess what after scoffing four of the meringue nests one night I realised they wouldn't be making a reappearance in my kitchen anytime soon! Lesson learnt... move on. It's really worth having a good clean out of the pantry, I did that a little while ago and I really enjoy opening the door and knowing what I have in there these days. Once every couple of months have a good look to see what's in there to use in your meal plan for the week, commit to saying I'm only going to allow myself to buy fruit and vegies but I'm going to use what I have in the pantry and freezer for the rest of the week. If you've been ensuring that each week you're bringing good healthy food into the house, there should be plenty you can do!

  • Have someone to chat too. I have been super lucky that my sisters had also embarked on a journey to a more healthy life, together we've been able to make it a family lifestyle change, and we've been able to talk to each other about ups and downs, and support each other. It doesn't have to be family but it does help to have someone you can talk to, family, friend, buddy, forum support, or even a counsellor, doctor, whatever works for you!

  • Goals. Set some goals, for me I've found that I quite enjoy running, so I set myself some fun run goals to meet. Don't like running, that's fine, it doesn't have to be an exercise goal but it helps to have something to achieve, it can be one goal or more than one goal. Write them down, tick them off as they happen, add more as you achieve the ones on your list. Even when you've lost the weight you wanted to lose, you will still need goals, without them you risk going great I've done it now I don't need to try anymore.... and we all know where that leads.

  • Motivation. You can find inspiration in a lot of things, people, comments, stories, pictures, well basically in everything around you, but there's only one place you get motivation from, yourself. All those other things can provide you with tools, but you are still the only one that can get off your arse and do it.

  • EAT! You do not need to starve yourself to lose weight in fact doing so is not healthy and WILL NOT help you reach your goals. You need to eat enough and in doing so you do so much more for your body and your health and you will lose weight as well.
Remember all these things are tools, and they are only as helpful as you employ them to be. If you work them and with them they may help you, but if you use them as excuses and give up on yourself then off course the tools will be deemed useless. But at the end of the day the only person you let down is yourself.

Philosophical enough for you guys? Have a good one.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sad... you don't follow my blog!!! Lol.

    But, everything you said there is true.
    And I think, another one, is learning to deal with change, or at least to re-plan when you hit adversity... It's something I realised that I DO have the capacity to do, but I need to learn to do it quicker!!

    In the past, an injury, or a change of plan has been enough to trigger me off into the abyss for AT LEAST a week.
    Like they cancelled tennis. But I've already eaten all my calories today!! And off I go...

    This time I caught myself at two days in the abyss, and started again.

    The power to reevaluate, replan.
    Not everything is ruined because something had changed from how you saw it a month ago. Not everything is lost because of a chocolate hot cross bun you know?
    Just learn to re-evaluate. Make another plan.

    Anyhoo, that's my wisdom for today. Go check out my awesome recipes, lol.