Friday, June 4, 2010

Friday ramblings....

Well where to begin...


My bootcamp has officially cancelled my morning sessions until spring, or you know until they have enough numbers and a trainer to run them again.  I have a choice of an earlier morning session a couple of suburbs away, an evening class nearby or an evening class a half hour or so away that my current trainer runs.

So naturally I want to stay with my trainer we have a good system going and I trust him AND he knows where I am at, I don't have to explain anything to him, he knows when and how to push harder and he knows when to ease up and he calls me out if I'm shitting myself and tells me to settle down when I'm being too hard on myself (which he tells me I am often - which I didn't actual realise I was doing - but it's hard to let go of the reigns a little because the last time I stopped being hard on myself I was 130kg suddenly!). 

Anyway mainly my biggest issue was how my bootcamp head office dealt with the whole situation and how their new customer service manager has NO customer service skills whatsoever, in fact I believe she's also a Personal Trainer, frankly after her emails I would never want to train with her. 

So it was the last in a list of things that seemed to smack into me last week and I just went into a big sulk, I didn't stop training but I did have a dummy spit.  I sent an email to my trainer to get it all out and have been feeling better since then... however....

I am not 100%, yesterday the scratchy throat and runny nose started.... I found it so hard to catch my breath at training last night, so I've been ordered into at least 2 if not 3 sequential rest days and told not to worry we would go hard again next week.  I was going to take today as a rest anyway but it seems if he tells me to do something I feel compelled to do it, so I will behave and do as I am told.

The bright side of the coin is that he runs two back to back sessions in the evenings, last week I even did some double sessions, now some of you may be surmising that maybe I trained to hard but I do believe my cold is just from stressing too much over some of the things that have been coming up in my life lately and I really just have to chill sit back and you know .... go with the flow!  As you can see if I'm going to hard Trainer Nate will insist I rest so I trust him to watch out for me in that way!  At least until I'm able to catch up and listen to myself better!


Yep, not happy folks, so another thing that needs changing I'm going to have to get my resume out and update it and get myself out to some interviews, it's not a process I was hoping to have to do again so soon, but my new boss has different ideas for the role I'm in than my previous boss had and for me it's 2 steps backwards, so it's no use sitting here and whinging about it, only I can make the choice to suck it up and live with it or look for something else!


I realised recently that I have some adjustments to make, it's taking me a little while to get used to living my life in this different body, I mean look it certainly hasn't been any hassle getting used to wearing all my new clothes! hehehehehehehe I LOVE getting dressed up for work, for visiting friends, heck for just wondering round the house hahahahhaa, but there is still a lag somewhere in my mind trying to catch up with where I really am.

And I think it stems somewhat from all these words people keep using to describe me know, my brain is having difficulty processing them as anything to do with me, slim, skinny (because really I'm not), sexy, skinny minnie, fashion plate.... these are words I've never used to describe myself and I've never heard other people use to describe me before and I'm not sure how to ...... let them in! Anyone got any tips!

And then there is just generally getting used to life and enjoying it so much more.... it actually bears a little thought, it doesn't just magically happen! :D

It's interesting too, I've noticed now in times of stress my first reaction is still to want to eat, my next is to talk myself through it and all the while that's going on I find I wanna get out there and exercise! heheheheh NOW that is NEW! :D  So the new ways and old ways are fighting each other a little, but NEW is definitely winning.

Soooooo if you've read this far congratulations... if you've fallen asleep I don't blame you! ;p

I'm off to take it easy and look after myself this weekend, lunch with a friend tomorrow and if I can get an appointment maybe a facial or something nice like that with my voucher I have.  Or maybe even a nice back rub.  Have a great weekend folks and remember my new motto....

"How you train is how you tackle life. Don't avoid discomfort; deal with it head-on to get stronger. Learn how to work out with passion and that fire will carry over into everything you do."

It really resonates with me.... I've felt calmer and more focussed ever since I read it! :D

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