Making a plan....

OK, so after a night out to the AFL with the girls and a rest day on Sunday, I've decided to go ahead with another round of Hypoxi, it's only four weeks and will finish with still a week or so to go till my birthday.

So I've decided to include visits to Trainer Christian on Mondays, for the 4 weeks as well for that extra push.

So my schedule will look like:

Mon: Trainer Christian

Tues: Boot camp

Wed: Hypoxi

Thurs: Boot camp

Fri: Hypoxi

Sat: Boot camp & Hypoxi

Sun: Run

It looks full on I know I can trade out a boot camp or the Sunday run for rests where needed, and some boot camps may involve an additional running session with the girls in training for our 9km, some sprints and the like.  Hypoxi days if I do nothing else are relatively easy almost like rest days! It's only for four weeks and I feel really motivated to get as close as possible to goal before my birthday as I can, it would be a great way to ring in another year!  Also if I do similar cm results that should quite easily result in another dress size.

I like having a schedule to run with, since I've been back from the snow I've had no particular routine so to speak, and it leaves me feeling unfocussed!

The session with Trainer Christian last night was at his new studio I haven't seen before, it boasts a nice hill up to the end of the cul-de-sac that he likes to send us up and down inbetween sets of pushups, squats and sit ups!  He and Trainer Nate would get on so well they are both sadistic bastards sometimes hehehehehehhe!  But it felt good to really work hard, and with no one else there that I really knew I could just focus and get on with it.  At one stage we had to do the hill 3 times, I tell you I had to keep saying in my head over and over if you did the City 2 Surf you can do this!  He said if we needed to walk so be it but damn it I wanted to show him and myself I could run it, so I really pushed myself to keep running at the top of the cul-de-sac I kept saying get your breath back here on the down hill run.

I also realised despite my excessive picture taking I'm still not quite caught up in how I really look (I even took a pic of myself in my workout gear, to see how I looked, and was surprised to find my hips weren't as big as I expected them to be! Weird hey!  Still some work to do on my thighs though bahahahahah!).  One of the other girls in my class had also done Hypoxi and was showing us her results, and I was shocked that our measurements were so close, because in my head I saw myself as bigger than her, but I was forced to really look at her and see that I was of a similar size (chunkier thighs!) it was eye opening but hard to process at the same time. I still cringe a little inside before I see a photo expecting to see the 130kg I used to be I suppose.  I mean I think I dress like someone who realises they've lost weight, I just can't always seem to see it! It's definitely an ongoing process!

PS My shirt says Your Life Begins Now!  I have about 4 of them that all say different things, they look like Lorna Jane shirts but cost 10 bucks from Big W! hehehehehe

How far I've come...

I know I take a lot of pictures of myself!  I guess I'm still trying to grasp how I really look these days!

Had to show my new size 12 shift dress.  I don't know if you can see the little twinkles from the diamontes at the bottom of the dress?  Otherwise it's pretty plain, that's what makes it so pretty to me.

I was worried it was a bit snug but everyone at work loved it, guess I will just have to keep reminding myself that this is all real! :D

So I was looking at some of my old blogs from CK that aren't here on my blogspot blog, I thought there were some real gems that deserve to be here, so today I add this one that I found, mind you these comments are from very early this year, but they still ring true for me and my journey.

Yesterday (this was back in January 2010) I got to thinking about how far I have come and all the things I learnt last year, some of the big ones include:

• That this is not dieting, dieting = deprivation which = failure
• Focussing on a healthy lifestyle
• Making better choices in food, exercise and lifestyle
• That this is for life NOT just for 12 months or 6 weeks or whatever
• That identifying your issues and doing something about them are two very different things
• Water is important
• An all or nothing attitude is about as helpful as the latest fad diet
• That these things that you learn can bleed into other areas of your life for the better!
• That I am a worthwhile person, who deserves to be happy
• That support really does help, but at the end of the day you are the one that has to do the hard work, and that is very satisfying
• That all those things you think you can never do really are possible
• That confidence and being truly happy makes me a better person to be around
• That I enjoy hanging out with myself again too
• That feeling this good REALLY does feel better than shoving a block of chocolate or a bag of chips in my gob
• That exercise makes me feel good and keeps me motivated to eat better and makes me want to do things I never thought I'd do
• To stop referring to myself as fundamentally lazy as that constant negative talk becomes truth if you don't stop it, and after the last couple of months I've proved that actually I AM NOT THAT!

So I am officially on holiday! Yippee!

Feel the fear and do it anyway...

One of the major things I uncovered on my journey thus far was how I numbed myself with food.  I mean I knew it all along really but the gravity of what I was doing only became apparent in the last 12 months. 

What I uncovered was although I was numbing my pain, fear and saddness, I was also numbing all my other emotions, happiness, joy, elation...  and I realised this when I stopped medicating myself with food I began to really really feel those emotions, I know I have come out of my shell more, I know I feel happier and thus I am a happier person in general, and also find that things that bothered me before don't bother me as much as they used to.  Not to say I don't get bothered, but I like to think I don't sweat as much of the small stuff as I used to.... :)

I've seen my excuses, now what? (How to get over yourself)...

Make sure you've read Excuses, Excuses, Excuses first, as this is like a part 2'er!

So I've been having a little think about my excuses post and I suppose the next logical question would be once you've identified them, how do you put not accepting them into practice. I've had a long hard think about this especially as reading the forum can drive you a little insane with excuse after excuse after excuse just falling out from people. There's a mirad of strategies you can employ different ones work for different people you may have to try one or two before you find the one that hits home for you, but you know what the first thing is that you have to do.... the thing I realised I had to do.... you have to GET OVER YOURSELF. Get out of your own way, stop humming and ahhhing and thinking about all the reasons you have for not doing it or for not succeeding before, get off your arse and just DO IT! Nike were not stupid when they took this up for a slogan.

It may sound harsh but it's really true you have to get over yourself before you can make any steps in moving forward. I realised one day I was just over it, I was sick and tired of being fat, it was making me miserable it wasn't helping reach any of my goals, it certainly wasn't helping me meet someone to share my life with but what it was doing was leading me straight into an early grave or a reality TV show on how one day I woke up and couldn't get out of bed!

I guess you have to find that part of you that wants to be healthy much more than being fat, much more than that momentary feeling of pleasure or comfort that food gives you, you have to find those feelings from somewhere else.