New Pictures and ramblings....

OK so here are the promised pics, me and my itty bitty waist hehehehehehe and then ye old faithful before picture with a nice new one, reminding everyone about the amazing shelf that once existed on my chest!  God I honestly thought that top in the before pictures looked OK! Eeeek!  Mirror mirror on the wall who is in the biggest denial of all! 

So I'm still adjusting, I find that there are times I just find the whole thing surreal, my breasts used to walk ahead of me into a room and were always touching people heheheheheh, now it's like wow where are they.  I'm having trouble getting used to my face again, it's me but it's not me, or it's the me I always wanted to be and now is but like really!?

I'm very happy how I look in clothes these days and by god, the other week I bought some size 12 workout pants, well I thought they were size 12, one of them is, but a pair I've been wearing I was folding up to put in my bag and I noticed the tag was size 10, and I'd been wearing them no worries!  Seriously size 10!!!!! Even at my biggest when I thought about losing weight a size 14 was like the ultimate and here I am in size 14 tops and size 12 pants and possibly moving into a size 10 I mean get out of town seriously!  I never imagined I could ever be a size 10 until now, sometimes it's all too much blowing my mind.

I still have wobbly bits in the wrong places, but I'm working on them.  I'm still unsure the final state of my bod, there's still time for things to fling into place.... or not! heheheheheheh  But gosh look at all the things I can do and have done, fun runs, skiing, city 2 surf, double boot camp sessions, man push ups, taking the stairs without thinking if nothing else, I've definitely pushed out a healthier and generally happier version of myself.

I think one of the most important things I'm grasping is that idea that maintenance again will be it's own journey.  It won't be the end goal and woo hoo go and do whatever you want.  There's going to be learning and tweaking and getting that all right as well and then keeping check with it.  I have found that it is important I grasp that NOW before I get there, I don't think I've done it and wind up back at square one, no siree!

Anyway I'm babbling, I just needed to get some of that out, my trainer says I should be blogging about my feelings and mindset, and blah blah blah! So you know, some nights I go to sleep terrified of waking up fat, which is funny because when I was fat I would go to sleep WISHING I would wake up slim and healthy!  I know it's not going to happen but it does truly take your brain a little time to catch up with your body. 

What about you? Have you lost a lot of weight and still find you are playing catch up, are you along somewhere in your journey and finding the changes in your body almost..... foreign, like you are inhabiting somebody else for a while?  All thoughts welcome! :D

A busy week, and more PB's....

So let's see it's been a pretty good week.  I had my Hypoxi sessions, Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week, I get there early and try to do a 25-30 min run (Friday I only got 10 minutes but went hard keeping it over 9km/hr and getting a few minutes in at 10km/hr (I can't run at speed for long periods of time but it's all about building up right?!).  Also the skirt thing they put on you comes in different sizes (which I did not realise) and I went down a skirt thing already, today is my 6th session the half way point I think I get measurements done on Wednesday before the start of the 7th session to see how I'm travelling.

Write a book????

Hidee hoedy.... I'm still here training away, I had boot camp on Saturday followed by Hypoxi again, (yes Saturday boot camp is at Balmoral beach just at the bottom of Awaba St, come and find me and say hi, I don't think my trainers would mind people coming by it's $25 for the session!).

Sunday complete rest day it feels a bit weird to not do anything but last week and the next 3 weeks are flat out so I knew it was important to take the rest. 

Monday I put on my work pants, and was very surprised to find them already looser, so I'm completely fascinated now to see my results at the end of this four weeks with Hypoxi, coupled with my trainer telling me that the snow will also make me drop some weight (just walking to the ski lifts is an effort apparently! :D), and then my Dexa scan I'm excited to see what the next few weeks hold, and how far away from goal I'll actually be.

So the funniest thing at the moment is a bunch of people telling me I should write a book! bahahahahahah funny right?  Apparently my story is not snoozable to all around me... just me hehehehehehe, Trainer Nate is already brainstorming names for it! Wanna hear something even funnier.... last night I wrote the dedication in my head.... hehehehehehe.

I am legend... kind of....

So do you wanna know how funny Trainer Nate thought he was last night?  Maybe I should back up for a minute, see I thought telling him about my bruised knees and my copious amounts of burpees and man pushups from Tuesday might have him feeling a little sorry for me.... gosh could I have been more wrong.  It seems he felt the need to go and do more research on some more exciting things he could make me do.

So first of all we had to run down a flight of stairs and up a hill twice but heck he thought it would be funny to hand me a 12kg kettlebell to run with..... WTF!

Then he proceeded to show me some new moves he has planned for me, one being take the 12kg kettlebell and do a swing, control it on the way back down, when it touches the floor balance on it and proceed to do a burpee, once legs are outstretched and you've managed to not tip the kettlebell over do a pushup and then pop back up.... so the last thing he made everyone do was 5 burpees (mind you during boxing I already had done 5 that no one else had to do but whatever! hehhehe), so I told him I would do 3 of his fandagaled moves, to which he agreed, so both of us were surprised when I managed to do them including the close grip pushup ontop of the kettlebell, so I did 5 cause he said come on you can do 5, so I do what I'm told and I did.

Training training training....

Ok so busy week, I finally took a proper run... despite hitting an 11 on my beep test last week, I hadn't done a proper run since before I got sick, so I headed off on Monday night headphones blaring and did my 5.5km circuit and I was OK! hehehehehe

Tuesday I was off to my sisters and Trainer Christian, I haven't seen him for a while with all the upheaval of boot camp in the evenings and so on.  And yes Trainer Nate was OK with me trading out his session because it's the start of a new cycle and so all the newbies were being tested anyway.  He and Trainer Christian have a little bromance going on via me, they seem to get big kicks out of hearing how hard each of them push me! Bastards! hehehehehehehe

Scary, Exciting and Honest....

So I just did something really scary and exciting all at the same time, I filled in my entry for the City 2 Surf.  So now that I've entered it's no longer a possibility of something I might do, it's a... I'm really gonna do this sucker type thing! 

Trainer Nate is adamant I run it all, so I'm really going to focus my training on endurance rather than speed, and try my best.

There is another cracker of a post today by Craig Harper, hop on over and read it, it's called What's your food issue?  But it's the talk about honesty with oneself and other's that really struck my chords.... see if I have to come down to some definitive point about what it is that has worked for me this time when nothing did before it really is about me, me being honest with myself, being honest with others, calling myself out on my own bullshit, not getting upset when those around me call me out on my bullshit (luckily I have some great people in my life who do so and thus I am able to learn from it!) and getting out of my own damn way so I can move forward. 

This is something that really drives me in my training too, see I'm a little bit of a nazi when it comes to my reps, if I'm told to do a certain number, then I have to do every single one I'm told to do, even if it means watching other's short change themselves to finish quicker, even if it means I'm last to finish even if it means like on Saturday I was a full exercise behind everyone else.... I know that if I want the results I have to put in the effort 110%, and man I get it done.   

I still struggle and that's OK too, I've learnt different ways to deal with these things when they arise, to be able to look at them and see them for what they are, I might sulk for a day or two but I don't let things derail me, it's been a HUGE learning curve and continues to be, but by god it's been worth it! :D  And there's still more to come, I'm excited now to see what the future brings!  And there's certainly a big future out there waiting to embrace me, I'm sure of it! :D

GOAL......

..... well kind of!  You see when you are 130kg double figures is usually the main goal, and when you've been in triple figures for years, the idea of anything under that is a real wow!  So I had chosen 85kg because I thought is was a doable figure, far enough under triple figures to be maintainable but not unrealistic.

Of course by the time I managed to get out of triple figures I was already re-assessing my goal.  I had garnered developed enough belief that I could go further so I re-assessed my goal.  

But today is still worth celebrating for reaching my inital goal, and right dead-on the noggin!  85kg exactly on the scale this morning, which marks a suitable brand new beginning for that which I have planned over the next few weeks.

So let's look back for a little comparison they are so much fun! :D

Weight: 130 kg - 85kg = LTD 45kg

which equates to 99 pounds or 35% of my body weight

BMI: 42.0 - Morbidly Obese - 27.4 - Overweight (only 8kg away from a healthy BMI!)

I've lost over 140cm from bust, waist, hips, thigh and arm.

So pretty great stats if I do say so myself.