New Pictures and ramblings....

OK so here are the promised pics, me and my itty bitty waist hehehehehehe and then ye old faithful before picture with a nice new one, reminding everyone about the amazing shelf that once existed on my chest!  God I honestly thought that top in the before pictures looked OK! Eeeek!  Mirror mirror on the wall who is in the biggest denial of all! 

So I'm still adjusting, I find that there are times I just find the whole thing surreal, my breasts used to walk ahead of me into a room and were always touching people heheheheheh, now it's like wow where are they.  I'm having trouble getting used to my face again, it's me but it's not me, or it's the me I always wanted to be and now is but like really!?

I'm very happy how I look in clothes these days and by god, the other week I bought some size 12 workout pants, well I thought they were size 12, one of them is, but a pair I've been wearing I was folding up to put in my bag and I noticed the tag was size 10, and I'd been wearing them no worries!  Seriously size 10!!!!! Even at my biggest when I thought about losing weight a size 14 was like the ultimate and here I am in size 14 tops and size 12 pants and possibly moving into a size 10 I mean get out of town seriously!  I never imagined I could ever be a size 10 until now, sometimes it's all too much blowing my mind.

I still have wobbly bits in the wrong places, but I'm working on them.  I'm still unsure the final state of my bod, there's still time for things to fling into place.... or not! heheheheheheh  But gosh look at all the things I can do and have done, fun runs, skiing, city 2 surf, double boot camp sessions, man push ups, taking the stairs without thinking if nothing else, I've definitely pushed out a healthier and generally happier version of myself.

I think one of the most important things I'm grasping is that idea that maintenance again will be it's own journey.  It won't be the end goal and woo hoo go and do whatever you want.  There's going to be learning and tweaking and getting that all right as well and then keeping check with it.  I have found that it is important I grasp that NOW before I get there, I don't think I've done it and wind up back at square one, no siree!

Anyway I'm babbling, I just needed to get some of that out, my trainer says I should be blogging about my feelings and mindset, and blah blah blah! So you know, some nights I go to sleep terrified of waking up fat, which is funny because when I was fat I would go to sleep WISHING I would wake up slim and healthy!  I know it's not going to happen but it does truly take your brain a little time to catch up with your body. 

What about you? Have you lost a lot of weight and still find you are playing catch up, are you along somewhere in your journey and finding the changes in your body almost..... foreign, like you are inhabiting somebody else for a while?  All thoughts welcome! :D

The Mother's Day Classic

It's been a weeks of ups and downs.  I leave the downs to my own surmising, but apparently saying goodbye to things in your life means you start running the best you ever have!

So Friday night I had the best run ever, I totally hit a zone it was after work (interestingly enough I was only going to walk and decided to run at the last minute) the sun was setting, my ipod was loud, I didn't have to stop at any of the lights, or crossings everything was green for me to go, I ran all three hills in this route and even looped around at the end to keep going because I didn't want to stop.  It felt great!  

Then Saturday morning I had my monthly jogging club run, I decided to take it a little easy because I had the Mother's Day Classic to run still I only came in about 25 secs slower than last months run, so I'm confident if I'd actually pushed I would have beat my time.  

What's so different this time?

Trainer Nate has been questioning me of late, he's quite fascinated with the whole process of what it was that changed for me, got me going on this journey of mine.  He often tries to ask me these questions while I'm skipping or doing lunges with 20kg weights.... not an easy feat to respond let me tell you! :D

The thing is it's a relevant and interesting question for which.... I don't have a definitive answer.  I've started many a program and diet over the years, Weight Watchers, Lite n Easy, Body4Life, magazine diets, low carb/high protein (Atkins style), I've read book after book, I've even had what most would consider a measure of success, I have more often than not lost weight on these programs or diets, but then I've fallen off the preverbial wagon, skipped a couple of days exercise and just found the whole thing too difficult to bother with and back down the rabbit hole I have fallen, regaining any lost weight plus more to boot.