Tia Gets Fit

The Maintenance Diaries

2011-01-04T12:05:00.000+11:00

Such an awesome time and many achievements have come out of last year.

You can now follow me at my newly renamed, revamped and rethought of blog The Maintenance Diaries, http://themaintenancediaries.blogspot.com/.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and comment here and I hope to see you at the new blog.

Keeping busy...

2010-12-07T11:56:00.000+11:00

Hi hi, it's a been a while, there's been a lot going on, I won't go into all of it, it's just that time of year.

Anyway, first of all I'm excited to say that I got my height re-measured and I am 174cm, which I will happily take, I knew that going from (even an imagined) 176cm to 171cm just wasn't right, especially when I'm constantly told how tall I look!

We just had health checks at work and I was stoked to be perfectly normal for blood sugar, cholesterol and waist measurement. My blood pressure though was 144/75. The 144 is a tad high, so I spoke to my sister and in the new year I'll go and get a proper check up and just keep an eye on that. My blood pressure has always been pretty fine, so it was not the thing I thought I'd have to watch! Ahhh well you never can tell these things.

So what have I been up to... well last week Trainer Nate and I attended a Cross Fit session, you basically spend the warm up going through some weight moves with a PVC pipe before moving onto the WOD (Workout Of the Day). We had to do 5 chin ups (OK I can't do them so I got two rings I had to lean back and do 5 rows up, 10 pushups (start with man pushups until you can't do them anymore), 15 full squats and a 100 metre run. We had to repeat that as many times in 20 minutes as we could, of course Trainer Nate chose to do proper chin ups, still, when I started to over take him I was just mucking around but by the time I was almost a full lap ahead of him and saw him struggling on the push ups I started to heckle him out of pure confusion! Needless to say we finished the 20 minutes and I was ahead. I beat my own trainer WTF!!! Apparently I have more muscular endurance... whatever dude hahahahahahaha anyway even though I didn't go in even trying to beat anyone, I just try to finish the workout, he now insists on a re-match! Oh did I mention there was another guy there, who also did the rings like me and who was apparently a cop, we both smashed him out of the water! Anyway apparently Trainer Nate was waiting for me to die at the end so he could overtake me but I stayed strong, the closer it got to almost being over the stronger I seemed to get! :D

I'll keep you updated on the re-match I'm sure given some focus he'll kick my arse, maybe next time he'll try a little harder!

I have gone and scored myself a bike for a bit. I rode it for the first time the other day and really enjoyed it. The aim is to use it for shortish trips and I also want to add some swimming into my routine so it would be great to ride up to the pool, swim, and ride back a nice well rounded workout don't you think?

So my year of free boot camp is coming to it's end. The new Booty Camper of the year will be announced shortly and I am on my final session of freebies... I had forgotten that I would need to start paying in the new year... dammit! So I've had a think about it and a chat with Trainer Nate and I've decided that if I have to pay there are some new things I'd like to try. I'll be keeping my Saturday Boot Camps up, and I'll keep sessions with Trainer Christian in there to keep things ticking over, then in addition to running, swimming and biking, I've got a whole host of things to try or do more of. Cross fit, Kick boxing, Pole dancing, my aim will be to try a cycle 6-8 weeks of things out and see how I go with it, and at any point I can throw a cycle of boot camp back in.

I have also officially registered for my Certificates III and IV in Fitness, so I'll need to get some prac work in and might need to join a gym to try a couple of classes (for the experience) for a few months as well. So PLENTY to keep me busy! I've a whole schedule of fun runs and still plan on training for the half marathon as well!

So right now I'm pretty much maintaining. But I see further changes in my appearance and my body, so I even though I haven't seen the figure 75 on the scales I'm not overly concerned with the scale weight, now I have a better understanding of body composition, I know that I much rather be strong and sleek with muscle than flabby and weigh a light weight! So I'm putting the scales away for the rest of the year with a strong focus on maintaining over the Christmas break and utilising all the things I've learnt over the Christmas period. I managed to lose weight last year I don't see why it would be difficult to maintain this year. And then in the new year I will have lots of new exciting things to try, right now I'm enjoying myself, enjoying the way I look in clothes, still trying to get the chance to wear all the new things in my closet and enjoying feeling fit and healthy and well normal! :D

Have a great week everyone!

Run4Fun - 7th November

2010-11-10T09:27:00.000+11:00

So completed my 5th fun run for the year.

So here are my results. The average finish time was 1.05 so I was pleased to be a little under average or is I mean over, well I did better than the average, you all know what I mean right! :D Based on the bridge run I figured I should have been able to attempt for under 60mins BUT yes I am going to throw in an excuse, I had my two week break, then took another week before I managed to get back into some running training, and then well a week passed again and the run was here. So with my lack of training I figured I'd aim for under the 65mins and managed it. I like the half way splits, and knew I lost it a little in the second half of the run, so at least I know what to work on! :D

Most excitingly though I finally got a couple of shots where you can see me!! Not crossing the line, but still this first one here is me sprinting for the finish line as I've just entered the stadium and hoofed it! :D I like how fit I'm looking! :D See what progress I am making, I can see it in the picture and say it out loud! I really can! :D

These ones are from the start see how my hair is dry!

So that's it for the year with the fun runs, next year is beating all the times from the fun runs I entered, throw in a couple of extra for good measure and train for a half marathon. There's one on the 6th or something of January called the Resolution Run (ie, my news resolution is to get fit, for me I suppose it's fitter! :D) They have an 11km and a 5.5km I thought it would be a great way to start the year attempting the 5.5km in under 30 mins. It's at Sydney Olympic Park (which is where I just did my 10km one) so it's easy to get to and I already know where to park! :D

Happy hump day all! Hope you are having a good week.

Fitness Tests

2010-11-04T21:30:00.000+11:00

Well with time off this round of Boot Camp testing came round unexpectedly. Considering I only just got back into a couple of decent runs, and time off from all exercise I am happy to say I PB'd on all my tests.

I had hoped to push the beep test to an 8.1 but managed a 7.7 up from a 7.5 I think, I went and checked my last report here and it was a 7.5 but I think Trainer Nate said it was 7.3. Either way I'm encouraged that I'll reach 8.1 on the next go round. So I did over 4 minutes on the plank and really concentrated on form I did close almost 4 minutes last time but I know my butt was higher than it should have been. Trainer Nate even commented that it was good form, so it counts so much more then when you know you've done it right. I maxed our 5 minute cut off for the wall squat, and did 55 girl push ups and 36 man pushups each in a minute, beating each one by 1 pushup each, frankly though I just don't see how I can do that much better in the girl pushups! And I think it was 15cm on the flexibility, I'm not sure if that is up or down but I'm not overly fussed on that one, I'd say that's pretty fine.

So I struggled a little getting back into the swing of things, my first two sessions back saw severe DOM's and I struggled with getting out for my runs, but this week has been good and all I can do on my Sunday fun run is my best. I need to try to knock it out in an hour because I'm supposed to be somewhere by 10ish, so extra motivation, it starts at 8.30am. :D

We lucked out with the rain holding off until our fitness tests were over but now it's bucketing down, I don't think the next group were so lucky!

I desperately want to buy all the new clothes appearing in Target at the moment, but the bank account has run dry. I'm using the extra impetus to push those last few kilos so that I can sit closer to a size 10, where I'm a pretty comfortable size 12 right now, although more a 10 in pants and skirts, I never thought I'd be able to say that! Actually I used to say I'll never be a size 10 if I could just be a comfortable 14-16 it would be all good.... my how I've exceeded even my own expectations, and why shouldn't we! :D

Once this fun run is done on the weekend, I am finished my fun runs for the year. I will be sitting down and having a good look at the half marathon for next year and which fun runs will facilitate good development for that (aside from redoing the ones I want to beat my times in! :D) And then I need to look at building somewhat of a training program for the half I need too work on both speed and endurance, but I have plenty of time to do both! I guess I need to look at whether I should take seperate periods of times where I work on each by themselves, or whether I can work it all in together, and how I shake things up and keep it interesting! I love love love my imapmyrun app on my iphone, it even goes so far as to tell me what my min, max and average speeds and paces are, and when I go online, I can see some lap breakdowns as well, last night's was funny as my slowest speed was 2.24 km and that's when I slowed down to fix my headphones on my iphone.... for 20 seconds or so, hysterical! Must remember that when I feel like stopping! :D

Hope you are all doing well, the year is coming to a swift close, and I hope many of you have exceeded your goals for the year!

Rest time is over...

2010-10-18T14:49:00.000+11:00

Yippee!!! My two week break is over.... tonight I go training with Trainer Christian. Trainer Nate is away overseas he will be back next week, I've decided if the fill in trainer tomorrow night is not any good I will go see Trainer Christian again on Thursday night. But we will see! I might want to crawl into a hole after tonight. The bruises on my knees have cleared up for the first time in months.

I can't complain though I was very busy with my sideline hobby of cake decorating, October seems to have been the month that suddenly anyone I've ever made a cake for wanted one again! So I would have had to do some serious schedule shuffling if I hadn't had this imposed break... that's supposed to be my silver lining right, everything happens for a reason hahahahahaha!

So in total honesty food's been a little up and down... I reigned it back in this week but with TTOM my weight shows a basic maintenance figure.... not bad for all that cake! hehehehhehe back into exercise and a bit more of a reign around the food and I expect the end of the week will be all good.

So lots of things going on... something I can't talk about yet a little deal going on with the possibility of some interesting opportunities but I can't say anything till it's all done and dusted.

I've been investigating my Certificate III and IV in Fitness. I've decided on the place just waiting on some money to come through and I'm going to do that. It's something I've been thinking about doing to help close the circle of information and learning that I've been doing over the last year and a half. And I'll feel more comfortable being able to give people actually advice from a more informed place. And who knows I could make some extra dosh as a trainer always good!

A possible job opportunity at work, I think it's something I would be REALLY good at and would enable me to effect some real change throughout the organisation in a positive way... fingers crossed... I know if it's meant to happen it will work out but there's no harm in asking for some positive vibes now is there!?

PS Did I mention I got an iphone?! I'm such a geek but I am in total infatuation with it. My friends told me to download a game called Angry Birds and O-M-G!!! Hours pass by in the blink of an eye with this darn obsessively addictive game! hahahahahaha

My trainers have been telling me to look at yoga and pilates, I haven't had time to investigate classes in my area, but I picked up a wii game that is both yoga and pilates, so I will endeavour to give this a go sometime during the week as long as I get my runs in!

So next goal is the 7th November, 10km Run4Fun at Sydney Olympic Park. I'll be testing out my iMapmyRun app with my first run on Wednesday and because I'll be tracking my run with the actual GPS on me I will have truer indication on how far and fast I am running! WOOHOO! Geekdom here I come! :P

Birthday Celebrations

2010-10-03T18:39:00.000+11:00

Even though my birthday was Thursday and I had a lovely day, the real celebrations were yesterday. We started with a morning training session, that included the notorious Awaba St Hill (for anyone that knows the Balmoral Burn) followed by a workout that included stairs and some bodyweight work. We worked hard to earn lunch with family and friends followed by drinks and dancing with more family and friends!

My girlfriend who I have known since I was 7 came down from the Coast to spend the weekend with me. We've known each other for 31 years and Friday night was the first time we tried on each other's clothes and found everything we had fit each other! :D

So while we've known each other for a long time and I'm still essentially me, there were new things about me she spent the weekend discovering but more than anything the fact that I've improved my health so significantly means I have a much better chance of being around to be her friend for many many more years to come!

We had a lovely lunch followed by cake that my 14 year old niece made me all by herself! And yes I indulged in two pieces! And then we went home to pretty ourselves up for a night on the town. I've decided that I do better on vodka lime and soda's than I do on wine, I was also Jager bombed (I think that's how you spell it) but I still manage to recall the entire evening, no blank spots like my last night out on the wine! :D hahaha

I was incredibly spoilt, with a massage voucher, vouchers for me to get a new pair of running shoes (yay!), flowers, a dvd and book on yoga, a meditation pack, and a gorgeous ruffly pretty umbrella (which was prudent considering the rain at the moment!) and a jewellery voucher! Oh and not to forget that I didn't pay for a single drink the whole night! :D Lucky me!

I had such a nice time and feel really lucky to have all these people in my life celebrate with me, I saw this birthday as a type of re-birth with a very positive view for the future and I feel like many of the people in my life went out of their way to make it an extra special birthday. I am lucky and blessed!

I am now on a two week exercise hiatus, and will be then raring to get back into some running ready for my next fun run if I can remember to register! heheheehe

I've updated my photos, I've cleared out the house and most of the garden, I have some time ahead to relax and reflect and get a few unfinished things done and time to just enjoy being me and being able to do well, whatever I want!

Hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend and that you all remembered to put the clocks forward!

Birthday and Dexa follow up!

2010-10-01T16:04:00.000+10:00

Hi all! Yesterday was my 38th birthday! Yep I am THAT old, but I look hot! hahahahahaha. I've been asked a couple of times how I felt about turning 38 to be honest with you it doesn't bother me, I feel like this birthday is truly a rebirth, a stepping stone for the wonderful life I have ahead of me. And I had such a lovely day, a multitude of birthday wishes, a pedicure, lunch out, some window shopping and boot camp in the evening to finish it off!

Tomorrow there are more celebrations with family and friends lunch and then out in the evening in my hot new outfit! :D

Today I had a follow up dexa scan. In 2 months I have basically I lost 3.3kg's of fat, gained 1kg of muscle. My bodyfat percentage has gone from 26.4% to 23.0%! Which I am stoked about! So total weight today was 78.7kg's and my range has gone up a couple of hundred grams due to my muscle increase to 75.8 - 76.7kg (last scan it was 75.6 - 76.5kg). So the plan is to aim for the 75kg mark and then maintain that, and have another scan in 6 months to make sure I am on track. In the meantime I will have to play around with calories and exercise to work out my maintenance level.

So I had hoped for 24% body fat so I was just over the moon at 23%. And to gain a kg of muscle in 2 months is just awesome considering I've got muscle to give away! :D Trainer Nate has taken to calling me skiinny b*tch or beef cake! hahahahaha

So my girlfriend is coming down from the coast and she is coming to training with me in the morning to see what I go through every week! She does exercise herself, but it will be interesting to see how she finds this, and as we've never trained together (even though we've known each other for 31 years!) it should be fun, you know in that sick exercisey way! :D

So I'll be back later on in the weekend with pictures from tomorrow! Have a great long weekend!

Milestones, goals, and keeping on....

2010-09-26T19:25:00.000+10:00

So where are we at, lots of little milestones happening at the moment, I've broken the 70's meaning I've lost more than 50kg's, did I write that in another blog I don't think I looked back far enough.

We had our fitness tests again, this was the 2nd time we've done the beep test properly measured, last time I psyched myself out a bit, so this time I was aiming for 7.1 and reached 7.5 so I was pleased with that effort and hope to see past 8.1 on the next one.

I finished Hypoxi again and lost 5kg and 26.5 cm's. I have my dexa scan on Friday so I will be very curious to see the results as it will be almost 2 months to the day. Aside from my trainer quite hammering us, I've picked up the extra session with Trainer Christian where we did sessions using an olympic barbell, so I am expecting to have gained some muscle but I just don't know what that means for my fat loss, so I'm nervous but excited to see the results.

I went clothes shopping today with some girlfriends, this was a whole new experience for me as when I was fat I hated going clothes shopping with other people especially slimmer friends! The shops they would go into never had my size and well really I was embarrassed. But today it was so much fun and I had no qualms in letting the girls come in the change room with me and they were totally great! I ended up getting a dress I've been eyeing off for about 6 or so weeks, and a ring in I tried on at the 11th hour that will be my evening outfit for my birthday next week!

I'm on leave for a week and have started clearing out some stuff, some cupboards with crap that needed clearing (magazines from 2006! what was I thinking... straight into the recycle bin!) I weeded out my book collection, I've bagged up the clothes that are all too big that have been in the back room, and put them on the balcony, I need to get them in the car and off to charity. Tonight I went through my wardrobe again and filled another bag as well! It feels good to get the stuff out of the house, creating space for the new things to come! :D

My girlfriend I've known since I was 7 is coming down next weekend, she is coming to my Saturday bootcamp with me so we will see how good her training has been for her! :D

So this is the plan, I keep training till next week. Then I'm basically being ordered to take a fortnight rest EEEK!!!!! Then I'll have one month to get back into training for 10km Sydney Olympic Park run. So my break period will be interesting as I cope with resting and focus on keeping my eating on track. The expectation from my trainers aside from some well deserved recovery is some muscle loss which I can well afford especially if my dexa scan shows an increase. If I play it all right I should be able to meet my final weight goal. So then playing maintenance until Christmas will be a good way to end the year! One hopes! :D

Oh and another goal I'm adding in for next year is to do the Harbour Bridge climb with my sister! She refuses to do any fun runs with me but has said she'd like to do the climb!

It's Sunday today and I just have to say it's been just a gloriously beautiful day! Enjoy your week!

Running and more running....

2010-09-20T14:06:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was the 9km Blackmores Bridge Run. We signed up as a team to raise money for Ovarian Cancer, one of our group members is currently battling the disease, a little shy, we did it from the perspective of her dog, Artie and called it Running for Artie. We aimed to raise $5,000 between us and on the morning of our run yesterday we surpassed our target amount. :D

Isn't Artie adorable? The day started cloudy but while waiting to start the sun snuck out. Trainer Nate and his brother Trainer Heath ran with us, but they didn't run for themselves, they spent the time running between the group members, and encouraging them on so as to hit any targets we had set for ourselves, (like me, aiming for under an hour) and my girl Nat (to simply run all the way her first fun run!). I even saw Trainer Nate encouraging complete strangers, just hyped to be there and be involved.

Despite having run 14km in August, I really struggled, Trainer Nate identified that I've been over training and once this week is done (last week of Hypoxi) I'm being ordered to take some rest time.

But even despite my struggles and pratically needing to be pushed and pulled down the last kilometre particularly after discovering what we thought was the finish line finding that it wasn't and me nearly both spontaneously about to burst into tears and vomit at the same time, managed to cross the finish line in the time of 54:22. Beating both the hour I hoped for and my 8km Mother's Day Classic Time of 56:09. Estimating that I was running on average almost 10km an hour (holy ****!!!!)

This has spurred me on for the 10km run in November at Sydney Olympic Park knowing that with some rest and better training I will likely have a better race day and be well aimed to do it in an hour or hopefully less. It's supposed to be a relatively flat course so fingers crossed.

I suppose after reading about how you can have bad race days it was a good experience and further understanding of how hard I can be on myself, see I achieved my goals but I was disappointed, I suppose I was thinking if I'd been in the right frame of mind I could have done better, so I suppose I need to suck it up and get over myself! hehehehe

All of us finished under the hour which was awesome, most of us around that 54 minute mark, the others were only 15 or so seconds ahead of me, with Trainer Nate and Trainer Heath both almost physically pushing me over the finish line to both come in one second after me!

I've booked my next dexa scan in for the 1st October, so with a second lot of Hypoxi done and having gone into the 70's I will be curious to see what the comparison results are from the August one.

I've started to think about maintenance and to look at a goal for that I've asked Trainer Nate if it's realistic to look at training for a half marathon while working on maintenance and he thinks it's a good goal to aim for.

I also want to redo the Menai fun run that I did at the beginning of the year, a very hilly 8km course, it was my first one and I was lucky to run half of it, so I'd love to give it another crack and see what my improvement on it is. And then of course, I will likely attempt the Mother's Day Classic again in a bid to run the entire course (which by then should be easy peasy) and totally smash my time. These I imagine will make good training events for a half marathon.

So goals achieved and more goals to come and aim for a good bid to help me keep maintenance on track. A good way to start off another year seeing it's my birthday next week, I've achieved so much since my last birthday and am excited about the prospects that lay ahead!

No rest for the wicked....

2010-09-14T15:57:00.000+10:00

Trucking along, still learning, figuring stuff out and letting stuff go hahahahaha it's such an ongoing process!

Last night went to Trainer Christian, this is what he made us do. He started by explaining the three moves he wanted us to do. He paired us up with an olympic barbell which weighs about 20kg's. Then showed us that the moves were a squat with the bar on our chest, a squat and press up, and a press up from the chest, using our legs as needed. Our aim was this 100 reps of each. WTF, that's the look on all our faces. This was the plan, one person started and did as many reps as they could, when they could do no more they dropped the bar and went for a shortish jog while the next person started. So the more reps you could get out the less runs you had to do. We could do them in any order. My partner and I decided the squat and press was the worst and we'd get that out of the way followed by the press and then pump out the squats, unfortunately by the time we finished the squat press she could barely lift the bar, so she went onto squats and I went straight into presses, my arms were dead by the end I tell you and then lucky her by the time she finished her squats Trainer Christian took pity on her (so unlike him) and gave her a smaller bar. Bugger that will teach me!

You'd think that would be it wouldn't you but guess what.... it wasn't. After that he had one more thing instore for us, partnering us up slightly differently in pairs we had a rowing competition. 10 x 100 meters, with 15secs of rest in which we swapped with our partner so each of us doing 500 meters each in total. Then the average would be checked and a winner announced! EEEEKK!!! I have difficulty getting out of the stirrups in a hurry but my partner was great and helped me, when he got on the rower he rowed so hard, it started to hop across the room! hahahhahahhaha It was like death but guess what me and my partner won! hahahahahahhahaha woohoo! VOMIT! hahahahahhahaha

OK that was it finally, stretch and then the next hour spent trying to get my arms to stop shaking and back to stop burning. God there's something so incredible about it you want to die when you are doing it, but you feel so awesome when you are done.

The rest of the week is Boot camp and Hypoxi followed by the 9km bridge run on Sunday. No rest for the wicked! With only 4kg's left to goal I really want to try to knock it out rather than stretch it out. And Hypoxi definitely seems to help out there, so watch out birthday here I come, you might not be a significant number but it's definitely a re-birth of the new, better and healthier me. :D

Letting the past go....

2010-09-13T13:20:00.000+10:00

Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been for me. So many things have started clicking in my head it's almost a little overwhelming, but exciting too.

On the weekend I finally weighed in in the 70's, this has been like such an unbelievable pipe dream for me, in fact I don't recall the 70's I just remember being in high school and being about 80+kg and going to Weight Watchers with my mum and having them tell me I should weigh like 63kg's and thinking that it was all so hard. Of course my body composition is VERY different these days, I must pull out some pictures from that time and compare them to now, just to see the differences. I know I was softer that's for sure, and I remember size 14, I don't ever remember size 12 or 10's, not that that means much with sizing's these days! hehehehehe

Speaking of school I had my 20 year high school reunion on Saturday night. Now high school was a bit up and down for me, I was never one of the popular girls, but I was friends with someone I considered popular. I always felt like one of those girls who sat on the fringe of a couple of groups but never really fit in per se. And mostly was ignored by the boys or teased.... I didn't start this high school till Year 8 so I didn't have the primary school connections and there were times some of the other girls were pretty mean, leaving banana peels and their rubbish in my school bag, general high school jinx. Or just being general cows as girls can sometimes be in high school, having said that I was no princess I did my own share of ignoring and bitching, I could say it was self defence.... actually I am happy to say I am not one of those people who wishes they could go back and relive their high school years because they were the best times of their lives.

Not that it was all bad, I had some great friends and some really fun times, I just never felt I really fit in. So to go back looking great guns, to see some of the mean girls had put on weight (I know it's mean but we are human right) and to get comments from guys that wouldn't give you the time of day at school, that you look great and well done, well it was well worth it! Mostly it was worth reconnecting with a couple of lost girlfriends and trying to recognise the majority of the guys who now with receeding hairlines and beards looked nothing like their high school boyish days!

So for me I'm able to let some ghost's rest and leave my school days pretty much behind me. Which goes well with some of the other things that have come up for me over the last couple of weeks, including figuring out what I really DON'T want in a relationship and how realising being happy in me and my life is going to really be key in finding the right relationship more than anything else.

I've started doing some clearing out at home and have plans for a big spring clean, I really need to let go of some "stuff" and make a clear path for all the new positive things coming into my life. :D

In the meantime, I'm prepping for my upcoming birthday with the goal of hitting the 70's before then already ticked off! :D

PS As you can see from the pic I went with my hot blue top again seeing I loved it so much, doesn't pop as much with a faded spray tan, dressed down with jeans.... still felt pretty good managed to keep the shoes on for about half the night, had a lot of people say thank god when I took them off as they hadn't remembered me so tall.... hahahahha

Running for Artie

2010-09-07T16:35:00.000+10:00

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/running_for_artie

Artie is the crazy little cavoodle whose owner is one of the 1200 women in Australia who are diagnosed with ovarian cancer every year. His owner is the cousin of one my boot camp girlfriends. We all know how pervasive cancer is in our lives, and once touched by it, it seems every time you turn around someone else you know is being touched by it.

A group of us have banded together to do the Blackmore's 9km bridge run on the 19th September, we are raising money for this cause, so if you are interested in helping us raise money and awareness for this cause, please click the link and donate!

Thanks for your time!

Embrace it.....

2010-09-06T16:41:00.000+10:00

Wow hey, who knew what a weekend could change? How you feel about yourself, how far you've come, how ready you are to really get out there and meet Mr Right??? My girl Alex had her birthday on the weekend and we've been looking forward to it for weeks. A couple of weeks ago I went into Crossroads with the intent of buying a red top I'd seen but I didn't like it once it was on, the lady told me to try this blue strapless top on.... I almost didn't first of all strapless hahahahah right and blue, the only blue stuff I have in my wardrobe are my jeans! hehehehehe but I tried it on anyway and wow I loved it. I grabbed the skirt to go with it, and then even went and bought stillettos, two pairs actually the first my wardrobe have ever seen! :D

My girls were then insistent we all get spray tans (another new experience for me!) and I saw myself a colour I've never been before (my European heritage leaves me white, burnt or peeling!)

Anyway I'd had a tough week, trying to process a few things in my personal life, and I really wanted to try to engage in an effort to tighten up that gap I have in my head between how I look and how I think I look! (I think a couple of glasses of wine helped with that as well! hahahaha)

So here I am in my outfit all glitzed up for a girls night out, and no pantyhose (eek what would mother think!) I just can't explain it, I'm not and never have been a big party girl, clubs and the like they haven't really been my thing.... but I have so much fun with these girls and feel good and confident doing it, and I think even if it's just for a short period of time I should embrace these experiences and all that they give me along with the memories (the ones that I can remember when I'm not half sloshed! :D)

Even Trainer Nate and Trainer Heath came along to enjoy the frivolity, see Trainer Nate with all his Smurfettes. He's like our big brother keeping a watchful eye on all of us, watching us blossom and embrace change.

I admit recovery is hard hahahahahaha I am a few years older than everyone else, but I'm not doing it every weekend, just special occassions. Admittedly I'm so enamoured with my blue top I'm considering wearing it to my School reunion on Saturday dressed down with jeans..... but stillettos of course!

It's a big change from that 130kg girl and only 15 months ago. Currently I can't weigh myself because the batteries have died in my Wii Fit and I keep forgetting to buy batteries, so I'm waiting to see how my Hypoxi results turn out, especially as I've noticed clothes changes again after only one week of Hypoxi. I put on my grey dress that I bought last time I did Hypoxi and I mean I loved it but it was snug (figured I'd get more wear out of it). This morning I put it on and I could move it around the hip area, and then one of the girls at work commented that the dress was already starting to get a little loose! So I guess it wasn't in my head after all! So I say weight schmait right now as long as cm's keep going down I'm doing damn OK!

That's it for today I think, my girl Ros and I are off to Trainer Christian tonight and we are both still struggling to recover from Saturday night, methinks it won't be pretty, and then we follow it up with Trainer Nate tomorrow night, we are such gluttons for punishment.... but I just know the boys love it! :D

A Day of Gratitude

2010-08-31T09:35:00.001+10:00

I just wanted to take a moment of reflection today to say thank you to all the lovely people out there who've been supporting me during the past 15 months and continue to do so, cheering me on, pushing me forward and even sometimes pulling me along.

My wonderful soul sister, Wendy, who I credit this day to saving my life by having a conversation with me last April and encouraging the both of us to share our weight loss together.

Trainer Luke, who got me started and went gently enough with me in the beginning that I kept coming back.

Trainer Christian, who showed me that I was capable of so much more than I ever imagined.

To all the wonderful people on CK that take the time to comment on my blog, you all keep calling me an inspiration but you have no idea how inspirational you all are, I'm not going to name names because I'm sure I'll leave someone out and feel bad, but I love you all.

My friends and work colleagues, who have all been so encouraging, telling me how great and well and healthy I look and have supported me, sponsored me and encouraged me all the way along! And still continue to!

To my wonderful new boot camp girlfriends who helped me rediscover the party girl in me!

Trainer Heath (Trainer Nate's brother) and his wife Maria for their encouragement and support particularly with Hypoxi.

And then of course last but never least Trainer Nate.... who continues to show me how to believe in what I'm capable of, how to continue to strive for the best me I can be, and who inspires me and so many others to live, laugh and love in the now and to enjoy it with as much zest and passion as possible!

I christen today my day of gratitude and even though these two little words can truly not express all that I feel, I simply say thank you. Thank you all! x

Enough slacking off...

2010-08-30T09:09:00.000+10:00

OK, so I'm moving forward with my plan, I have had to have a talking to myself, because I just feel like I've slacked off, nothing too major just eating a bit more than I should be and not taking my exercise to the max, and slacking off from my runs.

So my birthday is in 31 days so I'm committed to hitting everything hard for the next four weeks and maximising my results. I did a big shop and cook up yesterday, so everything is in place it's time for me to follow suit.

Trainer Nate and his brother want me to have another Dexa scan after this round of Hypoxi, and I want it to be worth their effort and mine to do this! I'm set up with seeing Trainer Christian on Monday's in addition to my other boot camps and we have the Bridge Run on the 19th September so there's no room for slacking off, I can save that for my birthday weekend! :D

I just bought a hot new outfit and I'm wearing it out Saturday night (apparently I'm getting a spray tan too) the top is strapless and blue, both new for my wardrobe, and I even went and got properly fitted for a strapless bra so the top looks it's best! The following week I have my High School Reunion so there's lots going on and lots of things I need to look my best for, and then to round it off at the end of the month my own birthday which will be a bit of rebirth in of itself! Last year I was still about 110kg so this year is just going to be fantastic!

So my head is down my bum is up and I'm going to see myself into the 70's before I am 38! :D Wish me luck!

Making a plan....

2010-08-24T14:47:00.000+10:00

OK, so after a night out to the AFL with the girls and a rest day on Sunday, I've decided to go ahead with another round of Hypoxi, it's only four weeks and will finish with still a week or so to go till my birthday.

So I've decided to include visits to Trainer Christian on Mondays, for the 4 weeks as well for that extra push.

So my schedule will look like:

Mon: Trainer Christian

Tues: Boot camp

Wed: Hypoxi

Thurs: Boot camp

Fri: Hypoxi

Sat: Boot camp & Hypoxi

Sun: Run

It looks full on I know I can trade out a boot camp or the Sunday run for rests where needed, and some boot camps may involve an additional running session with the girls in training for our 9km, some sprints and the like. Hypoxi days if I do nothing else are relatively easy almost like rest days! It's only for four weeks and I feel really motivated to get as close as possible to goal before my birthday as I can, it would be a great way to ring in another year! Also if I do similar cm results that should quite easily result in another dress size.

I like having a schedule to run with, since I've been back from the snow I've had no particular routine so to speak, and it leaves me feeling unfocussed!

The session with Trainer Christian last night was at his new studio I haven't seen before, it boasts a nice hill up to the end of the cul-de-sac that he likes to send us up and down inbetween sets of pushups, squats and sit ups! He and Trainer Nate would get on so well they are both sadistic bastards sometimes hehehehehehhe! But it felt good to really work hard, and with no one else there that I really knew I could just focus and get on with it. At one stage we had to do the hill 3 times, I tell you I had to keep saying in my head over and over if you did the City 2 Surf you can do this! He said if we needed to walk so be it but damn it I wanted to show him and myself I could run it, so I really pushed myself to keep running at the top of the cul-de-sac I kept saying get your breath back here on the down hill run.

I also realised despite my excessive picture taking I'm still not quite caught up in how I really look (I even took a pic of myself in my workout gear, to see how I looked, and was surprised to find my hips weren't as big as I expected them to be! Weird hey! Still some work to do on my thighs though bahahahahah!). One of the other girls in my class had also done Hypoxi and was showing us her results, and I was shocked that our measurements were so close, because in my head I saw myself as bigger than her, but I was forced to really look at her and see that I was of a similar size (chunkier thighs!) it was eye opening but hard to process at the same time. I still cringe a little inside before I see a photo expecting to see the 130kg I used to be I suppose. I mean I think I dress like someone who realises they've lost weight, I just can't always seem to see it! It's definitely an ongoing process!

PS My shirt says Your Life Begins Now! I have about 4 of them that all say different things, they look like Lorna Jane shirts but cost 10 bucks from Big W! hehehehehe

Making the decision or letting it make you....

2010-08-20T13:06:00.000+10:00

I've found myself a little tired this week. Been doing a lot of thinking. And I just feel a little caught in the middle. See I'm not quite where I want to be yet, and to get to where I want to be, I need to make more changes in my life... but part of my is still trying to catch up with all the changes I've already made! She just wants to take a breath and learn how to really grasp and "believe" that these changes and accomplishments she's made are real and she's not going to wake up tomorrow and be fat again! And so caught in the middle of all of this is the me that is tired and feels like she needs a little break from it all!

I ran into a friend I'd seen about six weeks ago, and oh my, she made such a fuss that you would have thought she hadn't seen me for a year! Don't get me wrong I love the positive feedback, but really that much of a change in six weeks, I don't see these changes in the mirror! Maybe I had just dressed really well that day! hahahahaha People keep using the word skinny to describe me, I find that one really DIFFICULT. It makes me want to lift up my top and show them my tummy rolls or my flabby thighs. Healthy yes, slimmer than I used to be yes, skinny, nah!

Maybe I just need a few early nights and then I just have to suck it up and make the decisions that need to be made and get off my arse and do what needs to be done.

I'm out of any kind of routine at the moment have been since I came back from the snow. My morning boot camp classes were supposed to start up again next week but have been postponed again. I'm not too devastated about it, I've formed a great bond with the girls in my evening class, but I had made some plans based on the morning stuff and now I have to redo it all again. I want to get out to see my sister's trainer (Trainer Christian) and I need to keep some running going for the next couple of fun runs. But on top of that my trainer wants me to do another round of Hypoxi, and well my results were so fabulous last time the idea of another 4kg's and 30 something cm's in 4 weeks would have me VERY close to my goal weight! The bonus being there would be a really good focus on my legs which is where my Dexa scan identified would be the best place to lose weight from.

So that would mean 3 boot camps a week, a session a week with Trainer Christian, 2 runs a week and 3 Hypoxi's.... seems like a lot hey, but I guess the Hypoxi is so light weight and easy (I'm lucky to get a 250 cal burn from it) it's just like a warm up really. Is too much on top 6 other sessions? For four weeks to just get that push to the goal post?

For some reason at least when I'm focused I don't feel this tired. I like knowing what I've got to do and just going to do it...... I don't want to decide by default, I'm just not 100% sure what to do right now.

What do you girls think?

Edit: Before I even got a chance to post this I had a call from Trainer Nate, and had a bit of a chat to him about it. Nevertheless I'm curious to know what some of you out there who follow my blog think? x

There's a new party girl in town and she's me!

2010-08-16T10:42:00.000+10:00

Well I had a bit of a sulky day on Friday, I'll even admit it bled a little into Saturday, but we had a good morning boot camp session that helped drive the cobwebs away. After a refreshing shower it was off to my sister's for a birthday bar-b-q. My nephew turned 18! It's always lovely, we always have a good laugh and a lovely lunch and catch up on all our gossip.

I have a friend who turned 40 during the week and had arranged dinner in the evening, so late afternoon I headed off home to get changed. I didn't know any of the other people going to the dinner (not that that was an issue, I need to get out and meet new people), but I did invite one of newer friends from Boot camp (Friend 1 - just makes it easier right! :D), as she had nothing to do anyway! We had a lovely time! The people were a hoot and the food was delicious. We ended up chatting quite a bit to a lovely gay couple who we employed the use of their gaydar while checking out the rest of the room! hehehehehehe.

Later we got a text from another friend (Friend 2) who was not having a good evening, our other friend (Friend 3) had mentioned that she'd be at the Ivy that night for a birthday so if we wanted to head on down we should. So we decided what the heck, friend 2 met us at friend 1's house and we grabbed a cab and headed on down to the Ivy to meet Friend 3. Anyway we eventually found Friend 3 and we even ran into Trainer Nate, who was well... somewhat hammered, which was pretty funny!! But seeing he now has access to this blog I'll refrain from further comments! (*Hi Trainer Nate! ;P*) Like last time the four us girls were out we had a lovely night and met some of Friend 3's friends and danced and laughed which is always the sign of a good night to me!

Sometimes I feel like I am re-living my 30's the way they were meant to be lived.... I've never been a big party/clubbing girl, but I know if I want to meet someone I have to actually put myself into situations where I am 1. getting out there and 2. meeting new people. And I really feel I'm starting to do that, and not only just do it, but enjoy doing it! And it helps that my new friends are single too!

However, there is a disclaimer... hahahahahaha I am going to have to watch those late nights, I didn't get home till about 4am and I think I'm still recovering!

Watch this space if your interested in my ongoing night endeavours, I believe there is more to come! hehehehehe

Building a bridge....

2010-08-13T09:55:00.000+10:00

So guess how much trouble Trainer Nate is in.... I seriously wanted to give him a couple of head bashes last night! He was telling us this story on Wednesday about a fight he was watching where this guy just sat on the other guy and punched him like 300 times and the guy just took it... that's the kind of thing I was imagining last night! BUT at the same time I have to accept my own personal responsibility, I knew from the beginning and I didn't push to get him to double check.

WTF you are all saying, well we discovered that along with not being able to count, Trainer Nate, can't measure! :P He had been measuring the beep test length incorrectly, which seems fair seeing he just takes 20 steps instead of using a tape measure.... so basically all my beep test results since the February have been false :( (See it's all still about learning what you are willing to let yourself believe and what you are willing to face up to! :P)

Those extra three and a half extra feet don't seem like much until you are trying to beat that damn beep and you feel that the return shuttle is on a slope! I'm whinging I know I'll build a bridge in a minute and get over it.

So the results sit like this:

Beep test: 11 (really going from last real test 5.5) ------------- 6.5 smaller improvement than I'd hoped (gonna try again in two weeks and aim to hit 7.1)
Pushups one minute: 54 ----- 53 (girl pushups - once you get over 50 it's a bit whatever! :D)
Wall sit: 315 secs ----------- 330 (5 mins 30 secs)
Plank: 140 secs ------------- 201 (3 mins 21 secs - last time was a bit pitiful, if I remember correctly my previous best is around the 3 min mark so I think this is a PB)
Flexibility: 16 --------------- tbc (I think I might have gone a little backwards on this but then again this was the first time he used a proper tape measure and not a guestimate on the paper pad - yep that's another dig at you dude because I can!)
Pushups one minute: 28 ----- 33 (guy pushups :D)

So no use whinging a lot about it really the beep test stuff goes back on the goals list I'd eventually like to build up to a 10, but have a way to go.

Yes I admit it was somewhat demoralizing, only because it was such a huge drop and we all felt it almost immediately. See sometimes this is why I like my smaller incremental improvements, I don't question those! hehehehe BUT at the end of the day it's a mistake right!? We are all human and it does not take away from the achievements I've made including the City 2 Surf, the fantastic dexa scan results, or how good I feel in my clothes right! :D

So I'm having a little sulk and tomorrow it's back to Balmoral and a busy weekend ahead with my nephews birthday lunch and a friends birthday dinner!

Have a great weekend folks!

Relax and enjoy!

2010-08-11T15:55:00.006+10:00

I'm a little confused while my time was consistent, there's a discrepancy between my placing in the paper and on the C2S website... so I guess I'll just go with what's on the website right.

Net time: 01:38:34 (98:34)

Place: 33043 (out of nearly 68,000 finishers!)

Gender: 11517

Cat. Place: 4079

I'm not 100% sure but I think it means I can qualify for green next year if it's sub 100 mins. I don't have totals for the last two (hope to come across them!)

The pictures are OK, not my best! hehehe but show me and my girls about to grab hands and then holding hands so proud, even better is the video in which hysterically funny you can hear me woohoo over everyone else... I maintain I was just placed near a microphone! hahahahahaha

I realised that I'm still coming to terms with my body! I insisted I needed a medium t-shirtm, I knew it was too big as soon as I put it on, but there are times that I still feel I need to hide myself somewhat! It all comes with time and experience right? After seeing the photos, I've opted to get a singlet top like the girls (we are going to be doing some more runs and will run in our smurfette shirts like our own little team!). I think I still feel exposed in my work out gear (you know without my sucky in underwear hahahahahaha)

One of our other boot campers who hummed and ahhhed about doing the City 2 Surf and then didn't has agreed to do the 9km Blackmores Bridge run with us in September and then we are going to do the 10km Sydney Olympic Park run. Trainer Nate is going to help me work on my speed so that when I do attempt a half marathon I will feel more confident about being able to do it within the time limits! :D

So let's list out these new goals:

Rejoin running group in 10km run
9km Blackmores Bridge run (19 Sept)
10km Sydney Olympic Park run (7 Nov)
Reach goal weight
Start playing round with maintenance
Try some new things! I wanna try a Crossfit Class, I might consider taking up bike riding (maybe buy a cheap bike to muck around with!) Maybe do a bit of swimming this summer! Take a dance class, is Zumba in Parramatta? hehehehe
Increase my running speed
Relax and enjoy all the good things happening in my life!

What are your goals for the rest of the year?! :D

City 2 Surf 2010

2010-08-08T19:28:00.000+10:00

So today was the big day, and I come to the end of it with a huge great big tick!

The City 2 Surf! A major end goal for me this year, here I am with my girls and our medals, red and sweaty faced, but totally proud because we did it, we got to the end.

Initially I was sure what to expect, when Trainer Nate said he wanted me to run it all, I really didn't focus on speed, but a couple of weeks ago, just before my trip to the snow I ran a 14km training run in around 1:45, so I figured that was a good goal.

We didn't end up running the whole race together, because one of my main aims was to run the whole thing, I pulled away from the girls slightly on heartbreak hill when they paused to walk. But in the last kilometre with me in their sights they caught me and we hammered it home, grabbing hands and raising them with a cheer as we crossed the finish line together, and the bonus as we grabbed hands I spied Trainer Nate to the right of us cheering us on! (He started in a group behind us but quickly overtook us to finish the race in 68:30). Our finishing time 1:38:and tbc seconds (will check the paper tomorrow).

Here we are with him, dubbed by him the Smurfettes after registering in the blue group, we went so far as to have t-shirts printed and then on the back we paid hommage to Trainer Nate, with our slogan "We love to hate, Trainer Nate". Hehehehe He loved it! Oh and that's not my bare arse in the photo it's a pink bum bag! hahahaha

So lots of big ticks for me, run the whole race, TICK, finish in under 1:45, TICK! Simply finish TICK! Do it for my mum, TICK! Make trainer proud, TICK!

So let's have a little recap this year:

I did my first ever fun run
I participated in the Mother's Day Classic
I completed (and ran the entire) City 2 Surf
I joined a running group
I reached 100 pounds (over 45kg's) lost
I've bought clothes in sizes 12 AND 10!
I appeared in a magazine
I have another magazine appearance pending
I had a dexa scan with great results
I had my dream trip to the snow!

I mean wow that's a phenomenal year! Now I need to look forward to some new goals. The things I have left to do are reach 50kg's lost and that's not far off, go horse-riding again (cause I can), try indoor rock climbing (because why not?) but what else now what do I face?

Possibly a half marathon? Work on increasing my running speed. Get to my goal weight (or happy body shape), learn how to maintain! Look at doing my Cert III and IV (even if it is just for me). Lots of things still to do or aspire to! The sky really is the limit right?

Dexa Scan Results

2010-08-03T23:39:00.000+10:00

Well the results are in, sorry for the late post but I went straight from my scan to a double training session so haven't been able to get to a computer!

So biggest shock was my height! I'm not 176cm.... I'm only 171cm! I'm shocked I tell you shocked, all this time I thought I was 5'9" and I'm only 5' friggin 7".... I maintain I was taller when I was fatter.... and younger....

So first off my bones are great, the average bone weight for women is between 1.5 and 2.5kg's not to be outdone, mine weigh 3.05kg's so I'm not big boned but I am "heavy" boned! This bodes well for me and means I have a low risk of osteoperosis.

I have 21.4kg's of fat which equates to 26%, lower than I expected. The acceptable range is 21 to 33% so I'm in a good spot. However Jarrod said I should be able to do 22% easily, 20% wouldn't be hard if I wanted either.

The great news was my muscle mass, 56.7kg's, the average a woman should aim for is 40kg's, so considering my past, my age, and my height, I'm well above average. So my total mass was 81.1kg, despite my shrinking height, the ideal for me is 75.6 - 76.5kg's so 75kg was the perfect number for me to pick. Even though for my height this would make my BMI overweight. Jarrod said a doctor would tell me based on BMI I should be 66kg's BUT based on my muscle mass that's ridiculous for me! So as we've discovered, BMI is not indicative for a lot of people! See Jess something else we have in common.

You want to know the funniest thing, one of the reasons I have this muscle mass is because I built it to help carry the load of all my fat! How funny is that!

So Jarrod said even if I lost 5kg's of muscle he wouldn't be worried I'd still be well above average. So my trainer is thinking 5kg's fat maybe 2-3kgs muscle, would settle out nicely. He's gonna back me of the weights a little bit and and after the City 2 Surf on Sunday I need to decide if I want to look at a half marathon.... even Jarrod mentioned it as a goal, and he said it's easier than the City 2 Surf because there are no hills!

So my RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate) is 1813 per day (gotta love that muscle mass). So he recommends 1900 cals a day and a minimum of 2500 cals burnt a week, that should generate about an 800g loss a week. Now I'd say I'm eating a touch more because I burn a touch more and since I started to this week my weightloss equates to an average of a touch over 700g a week, so I'm good with that. Even if I dropped to 500g a week average I can be at my recommended goal by my 38th birthday!

Also my abdominal fat was 370g which is low risk for diabetes (low risk for women is under 600g, so I'm well under which is good, diabetes runs in our family!).

So all in all really great results, I've been doing everything right, eating enough to fuel my training, training enough to maintain excellent muscle mass, and my goal is spot on for me. My height was surprising but hey it's not something I can do anything about! hehehehehehe, but I really thought I was 5'9"....

So another box ticked, I'm totally where I need to be... the next thing is getting Sunday done and then looking forward from there!

OH by the way.... I had a phone call today and I've been asked to participate in a photo shoot for another health magazine tomorrow... so I'm off to bed to get my beauty sleep and I'll let you know how it all goes! :D

And yes I recommend you get a Dexa scan, there is no way I could have predicted how high my muscle mass was and how this might effect the scale weight I was aiming for. I say get one so you know your goals are personalised to your OWN body composition, and basically to ensure you really are eating enough!

Snow beautiful snow!

2010-08-01T20:26:00.002+10:00

I'm skiing!!!!

I'm baaaack! Oh I don't even know where to begin. I had the most AWESOME time!

So let's see.... we left very early and I mean VERY early 3am on Tuesday morning. We stopped for coffee and later for breakfast and a petrol top up. Then we stopped at the hire place before heading up the mountain.

Now just putting on your ski boots and walking from the car park to the snow entrance with your ski's is a workout in itself, seriously you need a nap by the time you get there! hahaha

Did I mention that Trainer Nate was also going down the snow the same week, total coincidence, I go over to get my day ticket with a lesson and come back to the car and who has pulled up beside me in the car park.... yep Trainer Nate and his mates, HOW FREAKY is that! hehehehehehe. Anyway that was the last I saw of him so I hope he made it home in one piece!

L-R: Meags (20kgs lost), Me (48kgs lost), Wendy (25kgs lost)

So I had an hour before my lesson, my sister stayed with me and gave me some tips and had me practice putting on my ski's and taking them off, a little on ploughing and how to stand on the inside edge of them. This really helped me and I seemed to pick things up in my lesson quite quickly, we were on the magic carpet by the second half of the lesson, and did some turns as well.

I just can't tell you how amazing it all was, the white snow, the actual realisation of a longed for dream! The pain in your legs! heheheheh All I could do was thank my trainers in my head for all those nasty lunges and squats, because without them I would have been screwed!

The families I was with were just amazing and soooo funny, between skiing, laughter and exhaustion, the days just flew by! My friends gave me really good tips and by Day 3 I had some relative control and enjoyed some really good runs!

Showing the girls how to roast a real marshmallow!

The kids were just amazing and all did very well in fact on occassion Wendy and I tried to join the lines of kids snaking down the mountain behind their instructor heheheh (free lessons!)

Our house was fantastic, room for us all, 3 bathrooms and a fire which the boys built up each night and we even went as far as roasting some marshmallows! :D

All 16 of us!!

So we did have two visits to the medical centre, one of my friends was catapulted in the air by a t-bar operator, she ended up with a very sore and bruised behind! On the last day Troy my friend's husband decided to try a jump that was a bit out of his capabilities and we thought he'd broken his his leg. He didn't but it appears his done his cruciate ligament and will require a knee reconstruction if he ever wants to snow board again..... Aside from that minor stacks just left the rest of us with bruised egos or nearly wetting our pants in laughter!

I definitely would like to go back again! But for now it's a great big tick on my list of things to do and have done and to have had the most fun possible doing it!

I went for a jog with a friend this morning it was tough work my legs were heavy but I have to push through with the City 2 Surf now less than a week away!

This morning I went off to upgrade my phone to an iphone but unfortunately the exit fees are too high and I'll have to give it a couple more months, so stoopid it's not like I'm trying to change carrier! So in a sulky mood I went off to Target to try on some clothes, some of the new dresses appearing, I decided to see if the whole size 12 dress thing was a fluke of the cut of the dress or whatever.... I tried on 3 very different dresses in size 12 and they all fit in fact one of them I could have gone down to the 10! It's all very surreal, I think I've said that before, I know I'm smaller but I'm having a hard time reconciling that these sizes fit me! So to push the point home I bought myself a pair of jeans in size 10, and denim skirt in size 10 and a nice top in size 12.

I can't wait for my dexa scan (on Tuesday) I'm fascinated to see what the results will be and if 75kg is in the right ball park for me and what on earth will it be like to lose another 7kgs what will that translate to in my body shape, and clothes size! I'll just keep buying clothes that fit and taking pictures of myself! hehehehehe

Hope you've all been well! I have another week off but have lots to do so still a busy week including C2S preparation!

Sometimes it's in the little things...

2010-07-26T12:19:00.000+10:00

So my Hypoxi results came in, whilst it should have been 4 weeks, I had to squeeze in the 12 sessions into 3.5 weeks, so I was done before my snow trip. So in 3.5 weeks I lost 3.8kg (which at this stage of the game for me is phenomenal). And 37cm from my waist, tummy, hips, thighs to the knee! Typically the average for 12 session is about 25cm. I did go in quite skeptical but I have to say 6cm from my thighs is pretty astounding I'd struggle to do a 1cm in a month, so I am converted that it does help accelerate your results.

I went back to my old spreadsheets, and a 4kg loss never equated to more than a 10cm loss, so the proof is in my pudding and well my size 12 target dress right!

Sometimes it's really in the little things you find you can suddenly do... going out for some well deserved fun, being able to sit on the floor with legs bent to cut your toe nails (yep did it Saturday and was like look at me go! Might save some money on those pedicures now that I can reach my own toes easily again!)

So it's been a very funny weekend, I finally succumbed to the idea of a night out with some girls I met at Boot Camp. I've always felt a bit uncomfortable going out with friends. Always the fat girl sitting in the corner watching the men always chat up my friends. Sure I'm gregarious, with my friends, and I want to meet new people but the bigger I got the more shy or guarded I suppose I got, sometimes it's not until you look back that you realise how you are and what you project out has as much to say about how people treat you as to whether you think people are judging you on your weight or something.

But here I am, feeling great, confidence growing, and a brand new top waiting in the cupboard to be used.

And wow, it was one of the funniest, most comfortable and fun nights out I've had since I can remember. We laughed, we drank, we ate, we danced, we got ourselves some attention and at the end of the night we went home and slept it all off! hehehehe

We even have photographic evidence, so I'll post a group shot when the pictures come through! It was just lovely, for once I felt I just fit in, and I guess that I deserved as much attention as any of the other girls.

It really is as much about what is going on in our heads and our self talk as about what we put in our mouths. Some people just don't want to move out of their comfort zone but truly how else do we grow and reach for all that we want if we are holding ourselves back....

I'm off to pack and early early early tomorrow morning we are off to the snow! So I wish everyone a wonderfully happy week and I'll be back with all my snow stories! :D Whoosh whoosh whoosh!

How far I've come...

2010-07-22T22:20:00.000+10:00

I know I take a lot of pictures of myself! I guess I'm still trying to grasp how I really look these days!

Had to show my new size 12 shift dress. I don't know if you can see the little twinkles from the diamontes at the bottom of the dress? Otherwise it's pretty plain, that's what makes it so pretty to me.

I was worried it was a bit snug but everyone at work loved it, guess I will just have to keep reminding myself that this is all real! :D

So I was looking at some of my old blogs from CK that aren't here on my blogspot blog, I thought there were some real gems that deserve to be here, so today I add this one that I found, mind you these comments are from very early this year, but they still ring true for me and my journey.

Yesterday (this was back in January 2010) I got to thinking about how far I have come and all the things I learnt last year, some of the big ones include:

That this is not dieting, dieting = deprivation which = failure
Focussing on a healthy lifestyle
Making better choices in food, exercise and lifestyle
That this is for life NOT just for 12 months or 6 weeks or whatever
That identifying your issues and doing something about them are two very different things
Water is important
An all or nothing attitude is about as helpful as the latest fad diet
That these things that you learn can bleed into other areas of your life for the better!
That I am a worthwhile person, who deserves to be happy
That support really does help, but at the end of the day you are the one that has to do the hard work, and that is very satisfying
That all those things you think you can never do really are possible
That confidence and being truly happy makes me a better person to be around
That I enjoy hanging out with myself again too
That feeling this good REALLY does feel better than shoving a block of chocolate or a bag of chips in my gob
That exercise makes me feel good and keeps me motivated to eat better and makes me want to do things I never thought I'd do
To stop referring to myself as fundamentally lazy as that constant negative talk becomes truth if you don't stop it, and after the last couple of months I've proved that actually I AM NOT THAT!

So I am officially on holiday! Yippee!

A moment....

2010-07-21T14:57:00.000+10:00

Because of my excessive training schedule of late (which thankfully is about to let up), I've been rotating 3 different sizes of workout pants. My regular size 14's and what I thought were 2 12's but turned out one has a size 10 tag in them, and I didn't even notice! Last night I had to retire the 14's as they were practically falling off me, even one of the girls I train with mentioned how baggy they were in the bottom.

So I thought I'd run up to Tar-jay and grab an alternate pair, of course there's a bunch of new things and I always like to have a squizz and see what's on sale, and there I was walking through the aisles looking at some of the new pretty summer dresses that are already hitting the shelves, and this lightbulb went off in my head. For so many years I've looked at these clothes and wished I could wear these pretty things.... and in an overwhelming moment I realised I was no longer wishing, I could take the item right now and wear it.

These things still blow me away even now, not having to worry about hiring a snow suit, knowing I could borrow clothes from my sister and they'd fit fine, knowing I can wear all those pretty things I once wished I could wear.... ecstatic but just a little overwhelming as the moment of this reality that I have created with my efforts and hard work crashed in on me.

I spent so long being a wisher, a gonna, a settler..... it's such a shame sometimes I think to think of time that I have wasted, but in the end I know all those things led me here to know to this amazing achievement I have made, and all the goals I've hit and surpassed along the way. Once I've ticked off the City 2 Surf I'll be looking forward again to new and exciting goals, and very exciting future ahead for me to live and revel in.

I wish I could bottle this feeling and pass it on to some of you whom I know are struggling (or even to sniff myself on days I find it hard! :D) but I hope but trying to vocalise this moment that you too see it really is doable, it can be you, just keep going! I'll push if you want but you still have to put one foot in front of the other! ;D

Thanks for reading my lovely's happiness and joy to you all!

Busy busy busy....

2010-07-20T11:49:00.000+10:00

Firstly thank you for my awards! I know I have some things to do in receiving them, it may have to wait till I get back from the snow and have more time up my sleeve, but thank you so much, I'm honoured! :D

So this is the last week for Hypoxi, I finish up on Saturday and will have some results to post.

So I'd increased to 10km on my running, decided to try a 12-13km on the weekend, got to about 12km and thought why the heck would I not try to do an actual 14km (which is what the City 2 Surf is). So I just did! So now I've hit that target I'm happier in my mind, especially seeing next week I'll be down the snow, and then the week after that I'm supposed to be tapering my training. So I know I can do it, I have a nice set of hills and undulations in my course that I run, so I think I'm set. Just need to pull up good on the day! :D I found sipping gatorade good, and will down a gel at about the 10km mark to push the last few km home. Now I just need to figure out what time I need to get to Bondi Junction that will allow me enough time to get the train into the City! urgh I hate public transport!

I was out and about on Saturday and popped into Target, spied a dress I've had my eye on since the beginning of the season, on sale for 15 bucks.... It's a simple grey shift dress (for work) but has these pretty little diamontes around the base of the dress and everytime I see it I just think it's so pretty. I tried it on when it was full price, the size 14 was a bit too tight, if fit but wouldn't have been comfortably wearable. That was like 2-3 months ago. They only had size 12 on the rack I decided to try it on.... it fits. I could hardly believe it. I can wear a top under it for winter and as the weather warms up it will be a nice transition dress, heck it has no sleeves it would make a fine summer dress too. I'm pretty blown away about it but I have been working hard so why shouldn't this be the case! Right?

Three more sleeps and I am officially on holidays. Six and half more sleeps and I'm on my way to the snow. I am SOOOO excited and can't wait to have my lesson and get on the slopes. I've got thermals ready to go, tights, tops (basically my workout gear to use for layers). I still haven't tried my friends snow suit on (which I'm sure will fit but it's a matter if she remembers to bring it) worst case scenario I hire one, and I have no fear these days that I won't find something that fits, which I did in previous years!

Only 2 weeks to go and I'll be getting my Dexa scan. So it's all full on right now, I'll be having a nice rest after the C2S, although the week before I will be aiming for a couple of sleep ins to ensure I'm well rested from this manic 4 weeks, C2S training and 4 days at the snow! My sister has made me promise to take a break after the C2S she's worried I'm overdoing it, I told her that she knew it was this short 4-6 week period that I'd be flat out and then when Hypoxi was finished I could go back to a more regular routine! So bring on Dexa scan! :D

I think I am just babbling now, so I say have a great day and week all and catch you soon! :D

New Pictures and ramblings....

2010-07-13T09:17:00.000+10:00

OK so here are the promised pics, me and my itty bitty waist hehehehehehe and then ye old faithful before picture with a nice new one, reminding everyone about the amazing shelf that once existed on my chest! God I honestly thought that top in the before pictures looked OK! Eeeek! Mirror mirror on the wall who is in the biggest denial of all!

So I'm still adjusting, I find that there are times I just find the whole thing surreal, my breasts used to walk ahead of me into a room and were always touching people heheheheheh, now it's like wow where are they. I'm having trouble getting used to my face again, it's me but it's not me, or it's the me I always wanted to be and now is but like really!?

I'm very happy how I look in clothes these days and by god, the other week I bought some size 12 workout pants, well I thought they were size 12, one of them is, but a pair I've been wearing I was folding up to put in my bag and I noticed the tag was size 10, and I'd been wearing them no worries! Seriously size 10!!!!! Even at my biggest when I thought about losing weight a size 14 was like the ultimate and here I am in size 14 tops and size 12 pants and possibly moving into a size 10 I mean get out of town seriously! I never imagined I could ever be a size 10 until now, sometimes it's all too much blowing my mind.

I still have wobbly bits in the wrong places, but I'm working on them. I'm still unsure the final state of my bod, there's still time for things to fling into place.... or not! heheheheheheh But gosh look at all the things I can do and have done, fun runs, skiing, city 2 surf, double boot camp sessions, man push ups, taking the stairs without thinking if nothing else, I've definitely pushed out a healthier and generally happier version of myself.

I think one of the most important things I'm grasping is that idea that maintenance again will be it's own journey. It won't be the end goal and woo hoo go and do whatever you want. There's going to be learning and tweaking and getting that all right as well and then keeping check with it. I have found that it is important I grasp that NOW before I get there, I don't think I've done it and wind up back at square one, no siree!

Anyway I'm babbling, I just needed to get some of that out, my trainer says I should be blogging about my feelings and mindset, and blah blah blah! So you know, some nights I go to sleep terrified of waking up fat, which is funny because when I was fat I would go to sleep WISHING I would wake up slim and healthy! I know it's not going to happen but it does truly take your brain a little time to catch up with your body.

What about you? Have you lost a lot of weight and still find you are playing catch up, are you along somewhere in your journey and finding the changes in your body almost..... foreign, like you are inhabiting somebody else for a while? All thoughts welcome! :D

A busy week, and more PB's....

2010-07-12T09:23:00.000+10:00

So let's see it's been a pretty good week. I had my Hypoxi sessions, Monday, Wednesday and Friday this week, I get there early and try to do a 25-30 min run (Friday I only got 10 minutes but went hard keeping it over 9km/hr and getting a few minutes in at 10km/hr (I can't run at speed for long periods of time but it's all about building up right?!). Also the skirt thing they put on you comes in different sizes (which I did not realise) and I went down a skirt thing already, today is my 6th session the half way point I think I get measurements done on Wednesday before the start of the 7th session to see how I'm travelling.

Back to my week, a double boot camp session on Tuesday, and a 10km run on Thursday (I had to get the car serviced for my trip to the snow and I didn't want to pfaff around or worry about being late to boot camp!).

Then Saturday I missed Balmoral Boot Camp because I had my running group and I missed last months run because I was sick. So I decided to aim high, my last time was 22:30 instead of trying to simply shave you know say 30 seconds off, I wanted a 21: something time. I ran hard probably going too hard and as I rounded a bend towards the end I kind of died for a few seconds, and dropped to a walk to stop myself from vomiting! First time I've walked in this run since I've been doing it, but the finish line was so close that once I got my breath, I powered it home hard to get a time of...... wait for it...... 20:57! (Woohooo and the crowd goes wild right?! hehehehehehehehehe) So I'm sure my handicap will be affected and I'm going to miss next months because it's the day before the City 2 Surf, although I suppose I could go along and just do an easy run, not a PB. I'll talk to Trainer Nate about it.

So had lunch with a friend Friday and as is common at the moment people ask oh you must be at or near goal blah blah blah and then I get scrunchy face when I say I think another 10kg dependant on my Dexa Scan results in a few weeks. So then she asks me what I weigh and I say 85kg and she nearly falls off her chair and tells me she thought I was like 70kg TOPS! What a compliment hey......! So I'm going to be super curious what my Dexa scan results will be because I'm still expecting quite a high body fat %.... hmmmm.

Then on the weekend I weighed in at 83.6kg bringing my total weightloss to date to 46.4kg which breaks the 100 pound mark (102.1 pounds). So that's not something I thought I'd ever see or do! So yay me I say!

Took a couple of pics this morning so will download them tonight. Still getting used to all the changes in my body, I still don't quite recognise myself if I catch a glimpse in a window or a mirror, I am in the process of rediscovering myself I suppose you could say.... the me I always knew was inside trapped behind the fat girl. It's a journey in itself! :D

So another full week, two more weeks of Hypoxi and then the snow, I'm so excited and can't wait. Curious to see the results from Hypoxi, hoping my trainer is right and the snow will quickly knock of a couple of kilos (just walking around takes effort in all that gear he says!) and then getting that Dexa Scan, could be great if I was 80 or less by then but it's OK if I'm close, I don't know how my brain is going to fathom seeing a 70 something on the scale, I think I was like 14 the last time that was a reality!

Hope you all had a great weekend and have a great week, and photos tomorrow! :D

Write a book????

2010-07-07T10:22:00.000+10:00

Hidee hoedy.... I'm still here training away, I had boot camp on Saturday followed by Hypoxi again, (yes Saturday boot camp is at Balmoral beach just at the bottom of Awaba St, come and find me and say hi, I don't think my trainers would mind people coming by it's $25 for the session!).

Sunday complete rest day it feels a bit weird to not do anything but last week and the next 3 weeks are flat out so I knew it was important to take the rest.

Monday I put on my work pants, and was very surprised to find them already looser, so I'm completely fascinated now to see my results at the end of this four weeks with Hypoxi, coupled with my trainer telling me that the snow will also make me drop some weight (just walking to the ski lifts is an effort apparently! :D), and then my Dexa scan I'm excited to see what the next few weeks hold, and how far away from goal I'll actually be.

So the funniest thing at the moment is a bunch of people telling me I should write a book! bahahahahahah funny right? Apparently my story is not snoozable to all around me... just me hehehehehehe, Trainer Nate is already brainstorming names for it! Wanna hear something even funnier.... last night I wrote the dedication in my head.... hehehehehehe.

I wonder how many copies I would have to sell to get out of my current crappy job! hehehehehe

Last week I was a good girl and bought myself a little notebook and started writing out some short-term, medium-term and long-term goals again. When I went through my old Body 4 Life goals a month or so back I realised I had actually surpassed almost 99% of them, and with the City 2 Surf coming up being one of the major end goals since I started last year, I realised I had to start writing out some more goals to keep focussed. Luckily the Dexa scan got to go on the short term list, and I've been considering doing my Certificates III & IV in Fitness so I put them on the long term list (cause they'd take a little while to do), Trainer Nate keeps talking about a half marathon, but I'm still in 2 minds about whether I want to focus on shorter runs or go for the longer running.... so I put it down in medium term goals with a question mark! hehehehehe

It feels good to write some new stuff down, but also it's blown my mind the ones I have achieved and a bunch of them without realising it, because I'd forgotten and only noticed when I'd looked back which is why it's always good to write them down even if you do put them away to revise on a rainy day! :D

So this week is all about running! On Monday I did a Hypoxi session but I've timed it so I get there early and I can go on the treadmill for 20-30 minutes before the session, oh and I have to tell you about this treadmill I am IN LOVE with it. You punch in all your details and a heart rate, it automatically inclines and increases your speed until you reach said heart rate then it automatically inclines and adjusts your speed up or down to keep that heart rate! I couldn't figure out what was going on at first and then I realised it was going up and down it was fabulous the best mimmicking of an outdoor run ever and I get to watch foxtel while doing it! hehehehehe

Yesterday I did a monster double boot camp, because I'm missing boot camp Thursday due to getting my car serviced (for the snow!) don't worry I'll be doing a run at home instead, so tonight, run/hypoxi, tomorrow I think I'll do intervals on my outdoor run, Friday run/hypoxi, and Saturday my monthly running group (I missed last month because I was sick), so my last time for the 3.4km was 22.30 something, so I am aiming for the 21 something minute mark.

Two of the girls from my bootcamp have signed up to do the City 2 Surf as well, we've all registered for the Blue group so Trainer Nate has taken to calling us the Smurfettes. We are considering getting Blue t-shirts made up and printed with something funny like "Our f*cking b*st*rd trainer made us do this" hehehehe he loves it!

Happy Hump day! Keep on keeping on!

I am legend... kind of....

2010-07-02T10:37:00.000+10:00

So do you wanna know how funny Trainer Nate thought he was last night? Maybe I should back up for a minute, see I thought telling him about my bruised knees and my copious amounts of burpees and man pushups from Tuesday might have him feeling a little sorry for me.... gosh could I have been more wrong. It seems he felt the need to go and do more research on some more exciting things he could make me do.

So first of all we had to run down a flight of stairs and up a hill twice but heck he thought it would be funny to hand me a 12kg kettlebell to run with..... WTF!

Then he proceeded to show me some new moves he has planned for me, one being take the 12kg kettlebell and do a swing, control it on the way back down, when it touches the floor balance on it and proceed to do a burpee, once legs are outstretched and you've managed to not tip the kettlebell over do a pushup and then pop back up.... so the last thing he made everyone do was 5 burpees (mind you during boxing I already had done 5 that no one else had to do but whatever! hehhehe), so I told him I would do 3 of his fandagaled moves, to which he agreed, so both of us were surprised when I managed to do them including the close grip pushup ontop of the kettlebell, so I did 5 cause he said come on you can do 5, so I do what I'm told and I did.

Now I'm scared at what he's got planned for me tomorrow! Yes tomorrow, I'm not sure I've mentioned that I've picked up a 3rd boot camp session with him, he and his brother train at Balmoral and so I sadly get out of bed at 7am on a Saturday and drive for 30 mins to get further tortured.... what is wrong with me. It's a much harder session, probably because it's a mixed group, but it means in the leadup to the City2Surf if I trade out the occassional weekly bootcamp session for a run, I still hit 2 bootcamps a week.

I'm starting to think I'm going to find skiing a relaxing break from all this hard work hehehehehehhe!

It's funny to how we all still have raw nerves, Trainer Nate hit one last night. He asked me to do some high kicks, and he wanted me to roll through my hip and body.... it was a new move for me, and as I moved onto the other leg I had the technique wrong, Trainer Nate told me to stop being lazy..... OH NO HE DIDN'T! hehehehe I got the major shits when he said that, and yelled at him, I'm not lazy I'm just doing it incorrectly! Seriously you are calling ME! lazy!!!!!! SO he then began to apologise that he meant my technique was lazy or that lazy wasn't the word he meant blah blah blah, geez I was fuming... see I used to use the L word as a great big fat excuse, I often went round telling people that I was fundamentally lazy and really that's why I was fat, and well I guess I had myself believing it... but when I realised I needed to STOP saying that and not own it, well it stopped being true for me. I guess the nerve is still raw though and I didn't like being described in that way.... lucky Trainer Nate knows me well enough to not take offence, but man I had the boxing gloves on and nearly damned boxed him round the head! hehehehe

These things still come up for us from time to time, sometimes I think they are like little tests, to check our progress! :D

Happy Friday everyone have a GREAT weekend!

Training training training....

2010-07-01T11:01:00.000+10:00

Ok so busy week, I finally took a proper run... despite hitting an 11 on my beep test last week, I hadn't done a proper run since before I got sick, so I headed off on Monday night headphones blaring and did my 5.5km circuit and I was OK! hehehehehe

Tuesday I was off to my sisters and Trainer Christian, I haven't seen him for a while with all the upheaval of boot camp in the evenings and so on. And yes Trainer Nate was OK with me trading out his session because it's the start of a new cycle and so all the newbies were being tested anyway. He and Trainer Christian have a little bromance going on via me, they seem to get big kicks out of hearing how hard each of them push me! Bastards! hehehehehehehe

So it was a murderous session with burpees urggghhh, we had to do this rotating cycle:

10 pushups (10 crunches)

20 squats (10 crunches)

30 burpees (10 crunches)

Then we had to do a jog down to the end of the carpark which involves a hill

20 pushups (10 crunches)

30 squats (10 crunches)

10 burpees (10 crunches)

Jog

and

30 pushups (10 crunches)

10 squats (10 crunches)

20 burpees (10 crunches)

Jog

Then we had to do four ab moves in crunches, table top crunches, bicycle, and then legs in air, arms over head and then past thighs if that makes sense, he wanted us to do 10 of each movement then 20, 30, 40, 50, inbetween he said he'd pull people up to do some kettle bell work, in the end it was only me and my sister he pulled up, he made us do clean snatches (that's what he called them like a deadlift and then bringing the kettle bell up to shoulders ready for a press but not doing the press), 12kg kettlebell each hand for 5 reps, then he tried to make me do one rep with a 20kg kettle bell but I failed hehehehehhe twice so he dropped it to a 16kg, then I had to do 4 reps of the 12kg, one rep of the 16kg, 3 reps, 1 rep, 2 reps, 1 rep, 1 rep, 1 rep. And then back to finishing the abs, then another run and we were done.

Let me tell you by the time I got to the 50 reps I couldn't feel anything, my abs had gone numb, I got up for the run, got down the bottom of the hill and OH MY GOD you could almost hear my abs start to scream! Ouch ouch ouch every step of the job (maybe that was just me) hehehehehehe, anyway! I am pleased to confirm I did all my pushup reps as man pushups, although I did do the 30 in sets of 10, dropping to my knees for a few seconds and then going back into them. So I will be pleased to report that to Trainer Nate tonight!

So a good solid session but those burpees are a damn killer!

Last night was my first proper Hypoxi session. So click on the word Hypoxi to check out the website, but here is a rough explanation:

"Localised fat deposits and cellulite are the result of our genetic predisposition to store fat in certain areas of the body. Most of us have an unevenly distributed circulatory system – which means that blood flows more readily in certain parts of the body than in others. This phenomenon is known as “fat patterning”.

Blood is the vehicle for transporting oxygen, nutrients and fatty acids throughout the body. Therefore, blood plays a crucial role in burning fat. If blood supply to a part of your body is limited, then it is harder for your muscles to source free fatty acids from this area to use as energy. Put simply, fat burns more readily in the parts of the body that have strong blood circulation than in those with poor blood supply. This fact explains why many of us find it difficult to eliminate fat and cellulite from certain areas of our body despite a dietary regimen and high level of physical activity.

So why does HYPOXI work?

Hypoxi’s founder, Dr Norbert Egger, recognised that if he could stimulate blood flow to a specific region of the body, he could accelerate the rate at which fatty acids were metabolized in that region. He also acknowledged that physical activity is critical to burning fat. Dr Egger and his team of physicians therefore set about to create a device which coupled exercise with a therapy which could increase blood flow to certain parts of the body.

HYPOXI is revolutionary because it is the first scientifically developed treatment proven to manipulate the body’s own circulatory patterns to accelerate fat loss in targeted areas of the body. In fact, independent studies have shown that HYPOXI clients lose up to 3 times greater circumference in the targeted area than that achieved with conventional exercise."

I readily admit I still have that it's a fad type thing in my mind, but let me tell you last night I did my 30 mins on the recumbent bike, and whilst I only had to get my heart rate up to 122 I have to tell you it was bloody hard work! I even commented to the girl when she took me out of it, that it was harder than the upright which I tested on Saturday and she laughed and said she felt the same but that alot of ladies loved it, dunno found it easier to do 130 on the upright and not feel as though I was having to give it as hard but maybe that's just me!

So last night I had all measurements and weight etc, I weighed in at 85.8kg which I was more than happy with, after a day of eating and drinking and then weighing with clothes, I know I can weigh up to 2 kg's heavier by the end of the day, so I'm quite excited to see what my weekend weigh-in will bring, I thought 85 was exciting but wow and 84 number would be brilliant. My own measurements have not been too ridiculously far off what I got measured, I say that with the caveat that particularly with the thighs she measured in different spots than I do, so I will be fascinated to see what they will look like at the end of 4 weeks.

So the premise is this, you do 3 sessions a week for four weeks, the recommendations are that you continue to do other forms of exercise, and should have a healthy comprehensive diet. They recommend that 4-6 hours after your hypoxi session, you don't have carbs or alcohol or do more exercise (you can however have any of those before your session..... maybe not the alcohol!).

So for me the evening session are great because I eat my dinner before I go, and have a protein shake on the way home, come home, get stuff ready for the next day, shower and bed! So no worries because I'm sleeping away those hours and not worrying about carbs!

My Saturday sessions are in the morning so this will take a little more forethought, especially making sure I get my coffee in between my boot camp session and the hypoxi session so I'm not thinking about it for the rest of the day, and it means a protein based lunch and no carbs till dinner.

There's obviously the question that if I just exercised and didn't eat carbs after I exercised for 4-6 hours wouldn't I get the same results.... I'm going to do the best I can, Saturdays will take care of themselves in the best way possible.

Apparently though, I don't have loads of cellulite, my flabby legs are actually more due to my weightloss than cellulite (so the girl told me) so seeing Hypoxi is also supposed to improve skin firmness I will be curious to see what effects this has on my tummy and thighs particularly.

I'm quite lucky also in that the HRM monitor they strap to you is a polar one so my watch was able to pick up my heartrate and I can still obtain a calorie burn. Yay!

They have foxtel on tv for each machine so the time goes pretty quickly, just don't be a nob like me and wave the remote around aimlessly so you end up changing other people's tv's also! heheheheheheh Yes that did happen OOPS!

Did I tell you I've finally discovered a Protein powder I can stand the taste of, it's called Diva Whey, it comes in Vanilla, Cookies and Cream and Chocolate, it's lo-carb (as long as you add water and not milk) I think it will be delicious with milk, it's OK with water, which is the main thing, I've really struggled to find one I can stand the taste of, so I'm a happy bunny. It's only 118 cals and has 24grams of protein, so I'm just happy to have found something finally! And Jess seriously if you want the ladybug one's email me your address and I'll send them to you, only opened and used once! :D

So guys while I'm the guinea pig, what are your thoughts on the Hypoxi, have you heard of it? What do you think, are you curious to see what my results will be in 4 weeks? Would my success make you consider it? Or not really? Come talk to me about your thoughts...... don't feel you have to sugarcoat it, I'm open to all points of view.

Hope you are all having a great week! Keep warm.

Scary, Exciting and Honest....

2010-06-29T11:10:00.000+10:00

So I just did something really scary and exciting all at the same time, I filled in my entry for the City 2 Surf. So now that I've entered it's no longer a possibility of something I might do, it's a... I'm really gonna do this sucker type thing!

Trainer Nate is adamant I run it all, so I'm really going to focus my training on endurance rather than speed, and try my best.

There is another cracker of a post today by Craig Harper, hop on over and read it, it's called What's your food issue? But it's the talk about honesty with oneself and other's that really struck my chords.... see if I have to come down to some definitive point about what it is that has worked for me this time when nothing did before it really is about me, me being honest with myself, being honest with others, calling myself out on my own bullshit, not getting upset when those around me call me out on my bullshit (luckily I have some great people in my life who do so and thus I am able to learn from it!) and getting out of my own damn way so I can move forward.

This is something that really drives me in my training too, see I'm a little bit of a nazi when it comes to my reps, if I'm told to do a certain number, then I have to do every single one I'm told to do, even if it means watching other's short change themselves to finish quicker, even if it means I'm last to finish even if it means like on Saturday I was a full exercise behind everyone else.... I know that if I want the results I have to put in the effort 110%, and man I get it done.

I still struggle and that's OK too, I've learnt different ways to deal with these things when they arise, to be able to look at them and see them for what they are, I might sulk for a day or two but I don't let things derail me, it's been a HUGE learning curve and continues to be, but by god it's been worth it! :D And there's still more to come, I'm excited now to see what the future brings! And there's certainly a big future out there waiting to embrace me, I'm sure of it! :D

GOAL......

2010-06-27T17:55:00.000+10:00

..... well kind of! You see when you are 130kg double figures is usually the main goal, and when you've been in triple figures for years, the idea of anything under that is a real wow! So I had chosen 85kg because I thought is was a doable figure, far enough under triple figures to be maintainable but not unrealistic.

Of course by the time I managed to get out of triple figures I was already re-assessing my goal. I had garnered developed enough belief that I could go further so I re-assessed my goal.

But today is still worth celebrating for reaching my inital goal, and right dead-on the noggin! 85kg exactly on the scale this morning, which marks a suitable brand new beginning for that which I have planned over the next few weeks.

So let's look back for a little comparison they are so much fun! :D

Weight: 130 kg - 85kg = LTD 45kg

which equates to 99 pounds or 35% of my body weight

BMI: 42.0 - Morbidly Obese - 27.4 - Overweight (only 8kg away from a healthy BMI!)

I've lost over 140cm from bust, waist, hips, thigh and arm.

So pretty great stats if I do say so myself.

So the next few weeks are flat out, I have the opportunity to try something called Hypoxi. I need to do this sessions in conjunction with my current exercise program. Basically you get put in this chamber thing sitting or lying and you cycle for 30 mins while vacuum technology stimulates the lower part of the body (where women tend to hold all their fat). I'll be doing 3 sessions a week in conjunction with 2-3 boot camps and still a run or 2 a week in preparation of the City 2 Surf.

Now most of you following my journey would be fully aware that part of my journey has been the recognition of no such thing as the quick fix. So I'm not looking at Hypoxi as that, I admit going in with some scepticism but sometimes these opportunities arise and you have to give them ago. I still have to put in the work (ie exercise), I still have to watch what I eat, the one caveat with Hypoxi is that they recommend limiting carbs for 4-6 hours after a session, as all my sessions bar one a week will be in the evening, I am able to make that work, I'll be eating dinner before I go and protein shaking it afterwards before bed. Then I'll be asleep so who cares! :D

The testimonials for targetted cm loss is pretty positive, there seems a lot more positive hype about it than negative, although I could be looking in the wrong area, but what have I got to lose except cm's right. It gives me a good focus for the next few weeks as I have to be super organised to fit it all, I've got 2 weeks worth of frozen food in the freezer, I have FINALLY found a palatable protein shake and I don't have to give up my coffee, so I will keep you up to date on whether it works or not, someone has to be a guinea pig right! :D

If it could help get me closer to the 70's by keeping me focussed why the heck not hey?! It's a different type of training being on the bike and I can watch foxtel or read a mag. The half an hour is supposed to be the equivalent of a 90 minute work out, now I don't know how true that is because they calculate a Heart Rate for you and ask you to keep at that and mine was only 130, I am much higher when I do my boot camps but as I said it's all a bit of a shake up and some different intensities can't hurt.

There will be before and after photos and measurements that go with it. So stayed tuned to see if it works or not! :D

Another 6 weeks, and more improvements

2010-06-24T22:08:00.000+10:00

Can you believe it's been six weeks again already!! Despite missing a week and a half (of work out only 2 boot camp sessions) from being sick I still managed improvements on all my tests including an additional one we all threw in for the heck of it.

So my trainer said mainly he was only interested in the beep test and push ups, he did throw a 12 out there for the beep test but it was just too much, I was very close to vomiting! ;D 11 is still good right! hehehehe

Six weeks ago: ------------- Six weeks on

Beep test: 10.1 --------------- 11
Pushups one minute: 47----- 54 (girl pushups)
Wall sit: 181 secs ----------- 315 (5 mins 15 secs)
Plank: 187 secs ------------- 240 (4 mins)
Flexibility: 16 --------------- tbc

Pushups one minute: 0 ----- 28 (guy pushups - this one is new!)

Have an opportunity to try out something new, will be blogging more about it later, need to check it all out first and once I know what's involved I'll be sharing. Trainer Nate feels it will really help me push on to my goal quicker and it's being incorporated into my current regime so we will see.

Might just keep doing the beep test and man push ups and find some other way to measure improvements, the rest seem to be becoming a little redundant and it's hard to push the plank and wall sit over the 5 minute mark without blowing the session out by the time we do everything else and warm up and cool down, on top of with both my trainers have found the wall sit to be pretty redundant.

Any way, hope you are all having a good week and that exciting doors and opportunities are also opening for you as the seem to be for me at the moment!

Published!!!

2010-06-22T09:27:00.000+10:00

Well how exciting was yesterday for me. A few months ago I was approached by my boot camp companies publicity company, following that I spoke to a journalist about my journey including sending them some pictures.

But that was all I heard about it, I thought it musn't be going ahead, or I had too much to say! heheheheh, the next issue of the magazine came out and I all but forgot about it.

Yesterday I am standing in a newsagency and see the new issue of Australian Shape has come out, I look at the cover and there's a headline "How Nicole Dropped 40 kilos", I think hahahahah that's my name on the cover, but that can't be me because I didn't hear anything else about it.... so I flick through the mag and find the page and HOLY SHIT!!! It's me! hahahahahahaha

So I'm minorly disappointed that I wasn't able to update my weightloss and everyone at work has commented that I've lost weight again since the picture in the magazine, but what the heck am I complaining about! I'm in a magazine! hehehehehe

Do you know how many times I read those stories and wished it was me..... A LOT!!! And now it is me! And to top it all off it's the anniversary of losing my mum this week so how funny that it came out this week, a sign for sure as far as I'm concerned!

So I plan on writing to them when I hit goal with an update but until then my story will stand as it is right?!

If you want to check the article out it's Australian Shape magazine (it's new this year to Oz only the third issue), and I'm on page 20. The bastardised a couple of my comments and a couple of minor errors but overall the spirit and idea is correct! :D

Off to training tonight where I'm sure my trainer will be grinning from ear to ear and probably have some new kind of torture waiting for me! hehehehehhehe

Mountain Bread Lasagne

2010-06-16T09:42:00.000+10:00

So I survived my bootcamp session last night! And surprisingly I didn't keel over or find I'd lost all my fitness overnight! hehehehe Yes I know it's silly it goes along with that irrational fear that one block of chocolate will mean I wake 43kg heavier again in one day *sigh*, I've never lost this much weight before, it definitely takes some getting used to! ;). My trainer has been hammering home about rest being just as important and well I was hearing him, I just wasn't "HEARING" him! We did have a little chat, because he keeps telling me to stop being so hard on myself, I had a real big think about this and last night told him, that the reason I am, is because the last time I wasn't hard on myself I was 130kg! But this journey has a lot of lessons in it, and I see a lot of people struggling at maintenance, so I'm happy for these things to happen along the way so I can get a grip on them now! So Thursday I'll be doing a double session but today and the weekend he informs me I am to take it easy! So basically I'm just doing as I'm told!

A few weeks ago, someone posted the link to a PDF with recipes using Mountain Bread. I'll have to search again for the link, in the meantime I've raved about my Mountain Bread Lasagne, which is based on the recipe in the booklet, but I made some calorie saving changes particularly to the white sauce. What I love is that it's so yummy comforting winter food, and I feel I'm being naughty when in fact I'm doing something really yummy for myself all around 400 cals a serve. I've had requests for the recipe so here's my version, bare in mind you can do this with any recipe, I always add loads of extra veg to things and substitute, low salt, low fat versions of ingredients to get yummy food, but less calories.

So you will need:

Tia's Version Mountain Bread Lasagne

Lasagne

2 teaspoons oil (I use Rice bran)

15 g Garlic (garlic clove or teaspoon of jar stuff)

100-150g Onion (fresh I just chuck in the frozen packet one's no chopping required)

500 g Lean Beef Mince: Regular (the leaner the better - hey try it with turkey or chicken mince!)

1 teaspoon Mixed Herbs

1 teaspoon of Massel Vegetable Stock Powder salt reduced

1 can (400g) Chopped Tomatoes (check the sodium I used Ardmona No added Salt)

1 jar Raguletto Pasta Sauces (any of the one's with the Red Wine)

500g Frozen Mixed Vegetables (I simply use Homebrand, nice a cheap)

1 serving (75g) Frozen Spinach, Chopped Blocks (again you can add fresh I just chuck a couple chunks in)

6 slice (25g) of Mountain Bread (whichever one tickles your fancy)

1/2 cup (60g) of Bega: Cheese: Cheddar, So Extra Light, Tasty,

White sauce

2 tub (250g) Perfect Italiano Extra Light Ricotta (make sure it's the extra light there's also a light version but extra light has the lowest cals letting you use two tubs)

12-15g Mil Lel Parmesan (you can buy 25g single serve sachets for 99 cents)

1/4 cup Skim Milk

To Make

Put oil, garlic and onion in a pot.

When the onion is translucent add the beef and brown.

Once mince is brown, add the stock powder and mixed herbs, mix.

Add tinned tomatoes and pasta sauce (you can simply add two tins of tomatoes if you don't have any pasta sauce). Stir.

Add frozen veges and spinach.

Reduce heat and let simmer for a while (anywhere from half an hour to an hour is good, depends on how much time you have!

Make white sauce, by combining ricotta, parmesan and milk, you can adjust the consistency with the milk, you want it slightly runny so it's pourable.

Use a baking dish or one of those aluminum trays (no cleaning afterwards! ;D) Take two sheets of the mountain bread and over lap (you can use one and half or even one and a quarter to cut further calories I just can't be hassled with further who ha and cutting!) Add a third of the bolognaise mixture and spread out, then pour a third of the ricotta mixture (it won't be a perfect covering, just dollop it around). Repeat two more times, finishing with the mince and ricotta then sprinkle the tasty cheese on top.

Bake for about an hour in an over at 170-180 celcius. Freezes and reheats like normal lasagne.

You may notice the sauce is not overly wet, it's quite chunky you could spread it further but I think this helps with keeping the mountain bread at a nice consistency!

Cut into 6 servings and enjoy your 409 cal lasagne! These are still generous serves, if you are going to add a salad I'd suggest portioning it into 8 serves, but with all the vegies, you don't have to add anything else.

Enjoy!

Sick...

2010-06-15T12:05:00.000+10:00

So here I am almost better, a week and a half ago my trainer told me to take a couple of days off in a row...

I was already getting sick it wasn't enough to stop it, so a few days off work, loads of sleep in's and no exercise at all and while lots of fluids but not nearly enough water, (unless all the water in my Jarrah's does in fact count), I'm back off to training tonight, half excited to get back into it, half terrified that in a week and a half of nothing I've lost all my fitness! Eeek!

That's all really not too much to say when all you've done is spend time in bed, on the lounge or chucking away snotty tissues!

Hope you are all well and firing on all cylinders.

Here's a link to today's Craig Harper's blog, it's a great one for those people you know who claim they don't eat alot or they eat really healthy!

http://www.craigharper.com.au/exercise-weight-loss/incidental-eating-the-food-we-eat-when-we%e2%80%99re-not-eating/

It's an interesting topic because even people who aren't overweight or typically think they know what to do are not immune to this. I had a conversation with a girlfriend recently, who has been chubby, had a couple of kids but generally exercises and usually sits at a pretty comfortable weight, recently she put on maybe 4 or 5 kilos which makes her uncomfortable, she's been killing it at the gym (so she tells me) and can't understand why she isn't losing any weight....

She then proceeded to tell me what she'd had that day which included some banana muffin thing she didn't know what was in it, but you know it was only small, and then she had had some wine that night OK well a bottle in fact but she doesn't drink every night, and she'd cut out on the crisps (chips) but she was having some popcorn she's allowed 2 cups but she was having more than 2 cups... now this then led to a further investigation that that week she'd also had half a packet of tim tams (but I never do that), a caesar salad on a night out (yes I know it's not great but it's my treat food, and it's really only the dressing that's the problem - until I pointed out the croutons, the bacon, the parmesan cheeese.... HELLO!!!!) oh yeah and 3 bottles of wine over the weekend.... can any of you see where she might be going wrong yet? :D I love her to bits but I find that even when people ask you to point it out for them they don't want to always hear it and in those cases there isn't much you can do until they are willing to open their eyes.

In hindsight I know I was the same, I've said before that I wondered why nobody ever said anything to me, but if I really think about it, some of my friends did try to get me to see it through a health perspective, but until you are really ready you just focus on what you want to see. My friend from above says I eat really healthy and I work out so hard and I don't drink every night, yes but if the nights you do drink involve consuming your weight in alcohol.... then you aren't going to get the results you want right? Hmmmmm

Anyway, it's all food for thought.... much lower in calories than food to eat!

Enjoy!

Make your life a mission, not an intermission...

2010-06-05T21:40:00.000+10:00

There's an amazing thing that happens when you open up your life to change... even in struggle, the universe continues to send us signs, or even things and people we need. The trick is in seeing them and making them count.

For me the other day it was the quote on training and applying how you train to life.

Today it was an article in the new Oxygen magazine, by Jennifer Atkins on embracing change....

This is my favourite paragraph:

"Something magical happens when we accept responsibility for our behaviour and our results. This isn't easy because it's human nature to 'pass the buck.' I know there have been times in my life when I was struggling to accept my circumstances where I found myself blaming others, blaming this, blaming that. Now, when things go wrong in my business or personal life I can always find the culprit in the mirror. In every instance, it's the choices I've made in my life that have put me exactly where I am today. This one tweak in attitude may sound like a little thing, but it has made a big difference in my life.

One of the most important things you can do in times of change is to understand that taking responsibility and recognising problems as a challenge or opportunity will help you grow and fulfil your true potential. Do you know how remarkable you really are?"

It's that old cliche, when one door closes another one opens.... for years I blamed everything and everyone else and even myself about my weight, I was lazy, it was too hard, I just liked chocolate too much. I don't know what it was that changed but something clicked in me last year and I took the first steps to taking and accepting responsibility for me actions and choices, and this acceptance has led me here many kilos lighter, fitter than I've ever been.

Now when I see articles and comments like the one above instead of pfiffing it and thinking sounds nice but it's all too hard I see them as green lights that are screaming... 'right on track,' and 'heading in the right direction'... sometimes it's uncomfortable and it hurts, but boy the growth and change and excitement and wonder has all been so worth it!

Remember:

"No one is in control of your happiness but you. Therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change." Barbara DeAngelis

Friday ramblings....

2010-06-04T15:14:00.001+10:00

Well where to begin...

Bootcamp

My bootcamp has officially cancelled my morning sessions until spring, or you know until they have enough numbers and a trainer to run them again. I have a choice of an earlier morning session a couple of suburbs away, an evening class nearby or an evening class a half hour or so away that my current trainer runs.

So naturally I want to stay with my trainer we have a good system going and I trust him AND he knows where I am at, I don't have to explain anything to him, he knows when and how to push harder and he knows when to ease up and he calls me out if I'm shitting myself and tells me to settle down when I'm being too hard on myself (which he tells me I am often - which I didn't actual realise I was doing - but it's hard to let go of the reigns a little because the last time I stopped being hard on myself I was 130kg suddenly!).

Anyway mainly my biggest issue was how my bootcamp head office dealt with the whole situation and how their new customer service manager has NO customer service skills whatsoever, in fact I believe she's also a Personal Trainer, frankly after her emails I would never want to train with her.

So it was the last in a list of things that seemed to smack into me last week and I just went into a big sulk, I didn't stop training but I did have a dummy spit. I sent an email to my trainer to get it all out and have been feeling better since then... however....

I am not 100%, yesterday the scratchy throat and runny nose started.... I found it so hard to catch my breath at training last night, so I've been ordered into at least 2 if not 3 sequential rest days and told not to worry we would go hard again next week. I was going to take today as a rest anyway but it seems if he tells me to do something I feel compelled to do it, so I will behave and do as I am told.

The bright side of the coin is that he runs two back to back sessions in the evenings, last week I even did some double sessions, now some of you may be surmising that maybe I trained to hard but I do believe my cold is just from stressing too much over some of the things that have been coming up in my life lately and I really just have to chill sit back and you know .... go with the flow! As you can see if I'm going to hard Trainer Nate will insist I rest so I trust him to watch out for me in that way! At least until I'm able to catch up and listen to myself better!

Job

Yep, not happy folks, so another thing that needs changing I'm going to have to get my resume out and update it and get myself out to some interviews, it's not a process I was hoping to have to do again so soon, but my new boss has different ideas for the role I'm in than my previous boss had and for me it's 2 steps backwards, so it's no use sitting here and whinging about it, only I can make the choice to suck it up and live with it or look for something else!

Life

I realised recently that I have some adjustments to make, it's taking me a little while to get used to living my life in this different body, I mean look it certainly hasn't been any hassle getting used to wearing all my new clothes! hehehehehehehe I LOVE getting dressed up for work, for visiting friends, heck for just wondering round the house hahahahhaa, but there is still a lag somewhere in my mind trying to catch up with where I really am.

And I think it stems somewhat from all these words people keep using to describe me know, my brain is having difficulty processing them as anything to do with me, slim, skinny (because really I'm not), sexy, skinny minnie, fashion plate.... these are words I've never used to describe myself and I've never heard other people use to describe me before and I'm not sure how to ...... let them in! Anyone got any tips!

And then there is just generally getting used to life and enjoying it so much more.... it actually bears a little thought, it doesn't just magically happen! :D

It's interesting too, I've noticed now in times of stress my first reaction is still to want to eat, my next is to talk myself through it and all the while that's going on I find I wanna get out there and exercise! heheheheh NOW that is NEW! :D So the new ways and old ways are fighting each other a little, but NEW is definitely winning.

Soooooo if you've read this far congratulations... if you've fallen asleep I don't blame you! ;p

I'm off to take it easy and look after myself this weekend, lunch with a friend tomorrow and if I can get an appointment maybe a facial or something nice like that with my voucher I have. Or maybe even a nice back rub. Have a great weekend folks and remember my new motto....

"How you train is how you tackle life. Don't avoid discomfort; deal with it head-on to get stronger. Learn how to work out with passion and that fire will carry over into everything you do."

It really resonates with me.... I've felt calmer and more focussed ever since I read it! :D

Post this on your fridge.....

2010-06-03T11:57:00.000+10:00

I found this quote in a health magazine, when I was having a little coffee break at Gloria Jeans yesterday.... it really hit home with me at the moment as I have a lot of things changing in my life and it's thrown me a little, not because I'm opposed to change, just that when suddenly everything seems to be changing at once, you want it to slow down for a second so you can grasp it. Anyway I'd been feeling sorry for myself and then saw this quote and it really hit me like a bullseye!

"How you train is how you tackle life. Don't avoid discomfort; deal with it head-on to get stronger. Learn how to work out with passion and that fire will carry over into everything you do."

Happy Thursday folks!

Endurance...

2010-05-26T16:26:00.000+10:00

As promised I took a picture in my new dress, with my boots, hehehehehe I think I'll ask to be buried in my precious boots, anyway I like the picture better than my one from 2 days ago, so I'm adding it as well! :D

Had a really hard double session yesterday, Trainer Nate truly hammered me, I had a 1300 calorie burn a max heart rate of 95% and an average of 80%. While somewhat disappointed as there were times the word vomit entered my head so I thought I had maxed my heart rate I was pleased with the average, and just general pleased with my ability to complete the sessions, with boxing up second and several sets of burpees, I even impressed myself with my endurance, I guess! :D

Tomorrow we are boxing first and second session is a circuit so I shall see how that makes a difference and what new series of torture Trainer Nate can consider for me! It's an interesting change but I am hoping my morning classes will be back soon.

Happy hump day all, hope you are all eating well, exercising hard, and working through those issues one step at a time!

Finally thanks to all the lovelies who left comments on my blog at CK and the lovely Berys who even commented twice! You are all MY inspiration! :D

Over the 42 mark....

2010-05-24T14:09:00.000+10:00

Now that I've hit over 42kg lost (that's 93.3 pounds!) I decided it was time for a new photo, I've kept it casual but my top is a $7 bargain buy from K-mart hehehehe I love the sale racks these days as there is often stuff I can find that fits.

While the scale weight has been slower of late, I'm still losing cm's I notice it in my clothes, in fact I had to go out and buy new pants in 12's my 14's were just feeling too loose! (Drama! hahahaah NOT!).

I also got myself a pair of skinny jeans, whilst I always thought I'd never buy a pair I didn't realise they are the best jeans to wear with knee high boots! Don't mock me about it OK..... I never had knee high boots before either! :D I have a new dress too I may take a photo of it later in the week!

So I was also going through some photos I didn't think I could find a worse before picture than I previously had, and then came across a picture where I think I look even bigger than my current before picture.

So anyway I add it here so you can see it compared to my current now picture!

So I've still no word on when my morning classes are starting fingers crossed there will be news this week, but I've taken the opportunity to really mix things up. I doubled up with sessions on Thursday last week and plan to do so on both Tuesday and Thursday this week, really go for maximum all out effort.

I did some running this week and reached a personal best of running 6.7km without stopping. I quite like running in the cool of the night with the darkness it seems easy to zone out just listening to the sound of my ipod while pounding the pavement, I have a couple of good hills and a stretch of road which is quite bumpy in ups and downs, all good practice for the City 2 Surf. All good training for the snow too I am sure!

I cooked up a nice big pot of spaghetti sauce with lots of vegetables, I portioned out some in spaghetti portions, a couple to chuck on some sweet potatoes and another mountain bread lasagne, makes me feel like I am eating something yummy and stodgy but not heavy and fattening! :D

It's only Monday but I wish you all a good week! Remember it's a lifestyle just keep plugging away!

Not Happy Jan...

2010-05-19T09:22:00.000+10:00

I had a bit of a down weekend.... it happens hey, I gave in to some of my prior instincts.... but I've chosen to look at it as a good thing because this is what I discovered. I can no longer eat a whole block of chocolate! Even though they've changed it and the block seems smaller. AND despite Homer Hudson bringing out Chocolate Chip cookie dough ice-cream I also can no longer a whole tub of ice-cream either (and I'm talking those small expensive tubs!). Well I suppose the drive was there, but I realised I was full and stopped. And then rather than leaving it all to play with another day, I chucked the leftover chocolate and ice-cream down the sink and in the bin. So interesting lessons observed here for me. I used to scoff these things like I was never going to see them again, I think I've finally cracked the fear and the idea I can have them if I want to, so I don't have to eat my body weight in them like I will never see them again! Interesting :D

So in addition I was none to happy to find out that my morning boot camp class has been delayed for a couple of weeks due to lack of numbers. I don't suppose I should be too surprised, 9 of us started and only 3 finished. Only me and one other girl signed up to return.... winter shminter, bloody wooses.

Anyway so I've been offered a place in any other class obviously, but there are no morning one's close enough, and so I chose my current trainer's evening classes. Except my boot camp neglected to send me an email, letting me know that the venue had changed, so in the cold, wet, dark last night I found myself at a dark empty field wondering where the heck everyone was. Lucky I have my trainer's number but had to navigate to another site a good 15 minutes away from where I was.... NOT a happy bunny. I don't care that I "won" free training for the year, I'm still a customer you know! So the office got a slightly dirty email from this morning expressing my annoyance!

While everyone else re-tested Trainer Nathan put through my paces including some burpees and some pushups that involved, dumbbells, a rowing action and an arm out to the side action which left the new girls scared and me laughing that I could even do one! But a good burn and a good work out nonetheless which I channelled some of my annoyance into.

Best of all (I think) Trainer Nathan does two back to back sessions and suggested that I might like to double up if I so choose. So I might give that a go as a bit of a shake up and also as a bit of slap to think twice about that chocolate and ice-cream again! :D

That's it, I'm all sulky with not too much to say that isn't whingy, so I'll say happy hump day and slink off to my corner to get over myself! ;D

Another 6 weeks and a New PB!

2010-05-13T09:48:00.002+10:00

Wowzers can you believe it's been six weeks again already!?

We tested again this morning and boy am I over the moon with my beep test.

Here are my results:

Six weeks ago: ------------- Six weeks on

Beep test: 7.3 --------------- 10.1
Pushups one minute: 45----- 47
Wall sit: 174 secs ----------- 181
Plank: 181 secs ------------- 187
Flexibility: 14 --------------- 16

Let me put this into some perspective for you, when I first started boot camp my beep test was 2.4. Mostly over time as I have improved I've gone an extra 4 or 5 shuttles, I was stoked when at the beginning of the year I hit 6.0 because 6.0 is average, now I've shot right up into the Very Good category!

I'm super pleased and find this really shows such an improvement for me from the girl that almost couldn't walk up the stairs! When I first started and got my piddly 2.4 some of the other girls were running 7 and 8's and I thought I'm never gonna be able to do that, and look at me now!

I guess that 8km on Sunday helped must make sure I do that before every beep test hehehehehe.

My next step is the City 2 Surf. Trainer Nate is going to sit down with me and we are going to work on a schedule for what I should be aiming for and doing in the lead up to that. I'm excited about the next 6 weeks too as he said he'd be bringing in some new moves and some kettle bell work etc, so I always like the something new added in! Gotta keep pushing.

As he's also been making me do pushups on my toes I think I'm ready to switch the testing push ups to the big man one's as well. Just to have a new aim!

Keep up the great work everyone, one step, one day, one choice at a time. We all struggle but everytime you push through you move a step closer to whatever it is you want.

Happy Thursday!

Further stats...

2010-05-10T12:32:00.000+10:00

Just a few more stats I discovered.

First of all I managed to raise $743 which I was very pleased with thought I'd be lucky to get $200.

Secondly I discovered I can print out a certificate, yeah me! hehehehehe

My positions were as follows:

673 out of 1002 (total)

438 out of 692 (women)

178 out of 343 (age cat 30-39)

So I was really really pleased with those results, kinda hovering just above the middle but certainly nowhere near to last! :D

Now it's time to get to training for the City 2 Surf.

The Mother's Day Classic

2010-05-09T17:22:00.000+10:00

It's been a weeks of ups and downs. I leave the downs to my own surmising, but apparently saying goodbye to things in your life means you start running the best you ever have!

So Friday night I had the best run ever, I totally hit a zone it was after work (interestingly enough I was only going to walk and decided to run at the last minute) the sun was setting, my ipod was loud, I didn't have to stop at any of the lights, or crossings everything was green for me to go, I ran all three hills in this route and even looped around at the end to keep going because I didn't want to stop. It felt great!

Then Saturday morning I had my monthly jogging club run, I decided to take it a little easy because I had the Mother's Day Classic to run still I only came in about 25 secs slower than last months run, so I'm confident if I'd actually pushed I would have beat my time.

Then this morning the time came for my 8km Mother's Day Classic, I got up early 5am bacause I wanted to have something to eat, I had a wholemeal muffin with peanut butter and banana. Then while I was eating I was reading the pamphlet and realised the 4km run went off at 7.30am and the 8km left at 8am. So I went back to bed for half an hour, then got up pinned everything to my shirt, got dressed and headed out. Still way to early but I think it was a good time to get there because parking would have been a nightmare in another half an a hour. I got my timing chip and just wandered around waiting to use the loo and checking in my jacket (it was chilly) before lining up to go. So our course was 2 laps of Parramatta Park, because the park is actually 3.2km they had created an indent along one of the fields. So my lesson of the day don't start so close to the front it's demoralising when the majority of the field overtake you!

But I managed to run the whole first loop including the hill which saw many people grind to a walk. After that I made the mistake of slowing to a walk at a drinks station and finished the second loop in a walk/jog pattern, I tried not to make the walk's too long, just focused on markers and saying OK, walk to there then run or run to that and then walk for a sec. I still half ran the hill the second time around and once I reached the top the rest of the way was down hill so I finished that off running. Right before the finish line a bunch of people decided that it was an opportune moment to walk across it and ignore the runners coming in, which was pretty annoying but hey that's life! Anyway my official time was 56:09, which I was stoked about I wanted under an hour and definitely got it. My 8km on Australia Day was 68:24 (which was more than respectable for a first attempt) however it's great to see how I've improved since January and how much further I'm able to run.

Got a little teary at the tribute wall when I pinned up my mum's tribute, which was kinda sad in itself with no one there to greet me at the finish line, and I did feel a little bit alone. But having said that I can be proud that I still did this by myself, I didn't use any excuse for not having anyone with me to not do it. I took a photo of the tribute wall and a couple before I left, but having no one there meant no photos of me running. Of course my fingers will be crossed that one of the many photographers around the race might have captured me, we will see.

So the run is another item marked off my to-do list. I hope all the mum's had a Happy Mother's Day, and all the other people who ran did as well as they hoped. Have a great week!

Feel the fear and do it anyway...

2010-05-04T11:44:00.002+10:00

One of the major things I uncovered on my journey thus far was how I numbed myself with food. I mean I knew it all along really but the gravity of what I was doing only became apparent in the last 12 months.

What I uncovered was although I was numbing my pain, fear and saddness, I was also numbing all my other emotions, happiness, joy, elation... and I realised this when I stopped medicating myself with food I began to really really feel those emotions, I know I have come out of my shell more, I know I feel happier and thus I am a happier person in general, and also find that things that bothered me before don't bother me as much as they used to. Not to say I don't get bothered, but I like to think I don't sweat as much of the small stuff as I used to.... :)

But with every great revelation comes the downside, that time you know is coming, when you something will happen in your life and you will actually have to feel it, feel the pain, the fear and the saddness. And my time has come.

I don't want to go into the nitty gritty details, suffice to say there is something in my life I need to let go of. I always knew one day I would have to but I was not prepared for it to be now. However I don't have a choice. It is was it is and now it's ending. And I am sad and scared and admittedly it hurts somewhat.

Yesterday in a panic I found myself at Gloria Jeans eating caramel cheesecake for lunch. I let it numb me for a moment each bite seemingly calming me, until I was finished and then for the next hour and a half I simply felt a bit sick... (that's new!) I knew I had a choice I could spiral out of control and curl up into a shell or I could ask for help. I knew I didn't have the capacity to push myself, so I put a 911 call out to my trainers. I went home, had a cry, got changed and headed off out of the house away from the fridge to some mindless training where someone told me what to do for an hour and I just did it.

I'm still feeling sad, I'm not going to get over it in a day, but that's the point, I'm letting myself feel it. No hiding, no more numbing, just going through to the other side, where I know the sun will be waiting all the more brighter!

And to top it off I have some amazing friends and a support system I know I can count on. I know now if I can't push myself I have people I can contact in an emergency to come push me. Even if it means driving for an hour across Sydney to get to a session.

So I share this with you, for you all to see, it's not all good, sometimes there is the bad, but even in our misery there are still choices we make, and we still are the only one's making them.

I wish you all a good week! :D

Kettlebell Torture?

2010-04-30T12:18:00.000+10:00

So it seems the common thread from my last blog and the responses I received, here and on CK is that it's mostly about being in the right headspace, what that is for everyone and how you get there and maintain it, well it's all relative to the individual. I do maintain though that truly getting honest with yourself which is difficult, is also a huge contributor well at least in my case!

So I had my double training session Tuesday, in the morning at boot camp I felt very flat like I was struggling to get through sand, I gave it my all but I didn't feel it was up to par. By the evening though I seemed to have found somewhat of a second wind to get through Trainer Christian's session, which was Kettlebell torture.

We started off with a warm up set, all the girls got 8kg, the boy in the session got a 12kg. We were put through a variety of moves using one arm, so left arm swing then down for pushups, right arm swing down for pushups, there were four or five different moves I can't remember! Then a jog. When we came back he increased the weights he told all the girls to grab a 12kg and the guy had to go with a 16kg. Gee he struggled! I honestly was concerned I could not do the single arm snatch and press with a 12kg so I kept the 8kg thinking I was doing the right thing in giving it a go but having the other one there so I could continue if need be. Well guess what!?! Despite my I will give it a go attitude Trainer Christian did not approve, "planning to fail means you expect to fail" he said as he walked away with the 8kg kettlebell! Should I be grateful that the time span for each set was reduced, I did have difficulty hiking that damn thing up in the air but so did everyone else so I just did what I was told! hehehehe

This is not the end of the story... after that set and our jog we were told we were picking one movement and going hell for leather for 20 secs to get as many reps out as possible (20 secs per arm). For three sets. We then had to look at our cumulative totals, we were told to give it our all! After all collapsing to the floor we were then told we were doing two sets and we had to beat our highest cumulative score both times or we would have to sit out, however sitting out would be frought with a punishment and not seen as a way to get out of doing anything. Fearful of what might be we all killed it with improvements of at least one! Then finally after a break we were told one set and to beat our last highest cumulative score, which freak me out now we all managed if not by the skin of our teeth. After that we were given a killer ab routine interspersed with a nightmarish amount of bicycles ending with a plank that we were told if anyone dropped we would ALL have to do 200 bicycles, luckily no one dropped although it sounded like a couple came close!

So all the squating from the kettlebell swings (did I mention that was the move we all selected, like anyone was going for the snatch and press hehehehehehe) I am left with inner thighs that feel like they've been sewn on with a dirty needle! Ouchies..... it's OK when I'm sitting and it's OK once I've been moving for about 10 minutes, it's that time inbetween when you try to stand up from your chair and then attempt to walk that causes the most grief!

Yesterday at boot camp we had boxing which wasn't too bad at least most of the focus was in the arms, which I'm sure I will feel tomorrow, but when we had to kicks, shuffles and high knees *grunts* torture is all I can think of! Ahhhh well it means I'm working hard right?

I managed a jog this morning, funnily enough the jogging was OK, the walking hurt more, so the positive side I ended up jogging much more of the route than I have before including two hills I previously walked! Yay me! Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for coffee we are going down the beach for a run first, as I try to get in as much running as I can over the next week in preparation of the Mother's Day Classic! Trainer Nate says he's running it too, I don't know if he plans on running it with me which means I may end up holding him back... or if he just plans to run it... no biggy will be nice to see a familiar face maybe if we can find each other in the crowd.....

Yay it's Friday have a great weekend one and all! Work hard, play hard, train hard, and eat well! :D

What's so different this time?

2010-04-28T11:29:00.001+10:00

Trainer Nate has been questioning me of late, he's quite fascinated with the whole process of what it was that changed for me, got me going on this journey of mine. He often tries to ask me these questions while I'm skipping or doing lunges with 20kg weights.... not an easy feat to respond let me tell you! :D

The thing is it's a relevant and interesting question for which.... I don't have a definitive answer. I've started many a program and diet over the years, Weight Watchers, Lite n Easy, Body4Life, magazine diets, low carb/high protein (Atkins style), I've read book after book, I've even had what most would consider a measure of success, I have more often than not lost weight on these programs or diets, but then I've fallen off the preverbial wagon, skipped a couple of days exercise and just found the whole thing too difficult to bother with and back down the rabbit hole I have fallen, regaining any lost weight plus more to boot.

I've also been the utmost Queen, or King even of excuses. I can't, I'm lazy, I can't be bothered, I'm too busy, it's too hard, I'm just meant to be this way, it's genetics, whatever. And then there's other people's comments I've further used as my own excuse, the big one being well you are tall, you carry your weight well.... Have you seen my before shot? I definitely am not carry my weight well by any stretch of the imagination!

So why is this time different? Why have I been able to lose more weight than ever before, why have I been able to continue on for the longest period of time ever, why have I been able to pick myself up after taking a couple of days off or eating that Lindt bunny that I shouldn't have and keep going. I don't think there is one defining answer, I just know that something has shifted inside me. I finally got real with myself, I finally flushed my own bullshit down the toilet with a wave goodbye, I finally understood the health ramifications I was heading towards, I finally embraced getting out of my comfort zone, mentally and physically to help me become more comfortable and confident than I have ever been about myself. I just got up and started doing it. And for some inexplicable reason, when I don't do it know, I miss it, so I go back to keep doing it.

I finally let myself feel my pain I'd been shovelling down with food, and the reward was that I also began to feel a happiness I've long forgotten. I still don't know exactly why this time is different, I just know that it is. Maybe it's an accumulation of a lifetime of experience, maybe it's just the time it's meant to be for me, who knows. Maybe it's not for me to question so significantly but just to accept and roll with.

I look at it like this, I finally got out of my own way and the success I've had is undeniably amazing. I've had achievements to be proud of over the years, but these days I feel proud to be me, I feel proud to represent the memory of my mother, and all that she taught and instilled in me, the legacy she left behind for me.

I'm no longer scared, I no longer feel the need to hide away behind my weight, behind food. I don't know what it was exactly in life that made me start to think I wasn't worthwhile, but I know these days I am worthwhile, I do deserve happiness, I do deserve to be healthy and live and fullfulling life. And these days I am out there grabbing it with both hands.

Do you know what changed for you? Why have you embarked on a journey to health and weightloss (or more importantly fat loss). Are you achieving your goals in a way you never have before, do you know why? I've babbled enough about me, what about you?

Back to the 80's!!

2010-04-26T08:33:00.001+10:00

Another major milestone! Not only have I cracked my 40kg mark I've weighed in this morning at 88.8kg! So not only have I hit the 80's I've truly crashed into them! No eeking in at 89.9kg (which would still have been just as exciting!) but smash bang, 888.... hahahahha suppose I should be grateful it's not 666 then again! LOL Measurements are coming along swimmingly very close to being out of triple figures on bust and hips! Not long now, NOW that will be weird! :D

So this is an exciting occasion for me, it's been well and truly over 15 years since I've been this light. So it's weird, exciting and wonderful all at the same time!

Went out to dinner Saturday night with the girls to Mexican, had a side salad for an entree while they had shared nachos and then got fajitas, got told wow you are being very good, gosh I figured seeing I was going out I was going the whole hog.... I smiled politely and didn't say anything, I wanted my salad and fajitas and I enjoyed them. I'm not going to explain my food choices to people just as I won't force my choices on other people. One of our friends thought I was making my sister feel for having nachos, which I certainly wasn't I was simply teasing her because as she tried to take some to her plate they fell over. It's all about what each of us chooses and I'm not going to be forced into eating high calorie foods to help someone else feel better about themselves. I had a lovely night and I didn't need to pig out to do so. Great company, lots of laughs and of course I wore my NEW BOOTS! hehheheheheh with my jeans there was another new experience! :D

Yesterday I was supposed to do a long run but I was feeling a but out of it, so ended up doing a short walk, and today with a public holiday I'll give the long run a go. I slept in yesterday when I shouldn't of maybe that is what left me feeling abit dopey all day.

Other than that everything is going OK, I did hill sprints on Saturday! There were these two guys sitting on the steps at the top of the point of my sprints, but I didn't use that as an excuse, hope they had fun watching me huff and puff, I just kept my earphones on and did what I had to do. They had bikes with them but were having a smoke.... ummm OK! Anyway, I did 10, I ran 5 of them, walked 4 and then ran the last one. So I was pleased with that and it gives me a starting point to build up to running all 10. Of course I did a circuit of the park first, all in all it was good workout.

So tomorrow I have a double session, boot camp in the morning with Trainer Nate, training in the evening with my sister and Trainer Christian. Hope they don't hurt me too much! :D

Thursday

2010-04-22T11:19:00.000+10:00

So I am pulling up OK. Yesterday my legs were S.O.R.E. I pushed through on a 5.5km run in the morning. This morning at boot camp we did boxing and once again my trainer truely took a hammering too me, including burpees, just for me.... aren't I lucky? :P But I am not as incapacitated as last time, so that's a good improvement that I'm pleased with (although there is still the possibility of waking up tomorrow with a different story! hehe). Tomorrow I am taking a rest day whew, but have plans for a hill session and a longer run over the weeekend.

I bought new running shoes, which I wore yesterday morning so will be breaking them in for the Mother's Day Classic. And how lucky is this, because I know how important it is to go with the fit and comfort of a shoe, I tend to end up with crappy colours like green! WTF! hehehehehehe why they even make a women's shoe in green I don't know, anyway, this time not only did I get best fit and comfort, I got pretty purple! My favourite colour yay me! :D hehehehehe

So things are going well on my 12 week challenge with Jess I've even already completed my first effort at climbing all 11 flights of stairs at work! Everything is on track for the first week so all is good and well.

Next week I am back with my sister and Trainer Christian. So that will be another hard session.

Aside from that I'm really enjoying my new boots! hehehehehehe! Actually I'm enjoying all my new clothes and love getting dressed in the morning, which makes a change! :D

One more day and a long weekend! Enjoy enjoy and remember double demerits so drive/travel safely!

Train hard or go home.....

2010-04-20T12:00:00.001+10:00

Whew wow well I had a one on one session with Trainer Nate last night and then Boot Camp this morning, needless to say I am past ready for my nana nap! hahahaha

He had me running up and down my stairs holding weights above my head, two stairs at a time, skipping, and heavy weights. My landlords came out and were saying to him "Don't hurt her she's a really GREAT tennant!" hahahahahaha

I then surprised myself by still really getting into it this morning, I thought I'd be more smashed maybe it will hit me tomorrow! My lower back was sore again this morning but I took some nurofen and it seems to have settled, I'm hoping it stays settled enough for me to do a 5km run tomorrow morning and then I think we are doing boxing again Thursday.

Comment of the week, Trainer Nate said to me this morning he loves how I always give 100% while the other girls only seem to give up to about 90%. He even texted me later that I did a great job.... awwwweeeee. It's little things like that, that make me just wanna try harder! :D

So I've started a new 12 week challenge with my friend Jess (swayerm to CK members). We've added in our goals and we track each day to see how we are going. It helps me keep track of things like my water, and calories burnt etc, I've even added in one that involves doing the 11 flights of stairs at work at least once a week, and adding in some hill training.

I'm trying to increase the km's on my runs at the moment as I've got the Mother's Day Classic coming up very soon now. My top, hat, socks and wrist band arrived in the mail, also my running number, and memorial card to attach to your back which made me well up a bit. I'll be running in memory of my mum who I lost to breast cancer in 2004. One of the reasons I pushed myself into this journey is that I was really starting to feel like I was letting her down, my weight and health were on a slippery slidey slope and I didn't feel like I was honouring her memory much by existing through life. I'm happy to say I feel much happier about how I am honouring her these days, and this run in her memory is another big step for me. I miss her and wish she was here.

Wish my back well, last one on one with Trainer Nate nearly incapacitated me for a week, so I'm hoping I'm showing improvement by a lessened incapacitation. :D Early night methinks!

Relaxation, more goals...

2010-04-17T21:03:00.002+10:00

How heavenly was this morning, I finally used one of my "Booty Camper of the Year (2009)" prize vouchers and went and got a full body massage, oh heaven, I'm still revelling in the smell of the oil she used. I bought a few products with the rest of the voucher and plan on going back in a few weeks for a heavenly facial, maybe I'll throw in a back massage as well.

I floated around for the rest of day, did a little shopping but think I must have looked like I was high! hehehehhehe

On top of that I weighed in 100g off my 40kg lost mark.... ohhhhhh so close hehehehehe, almost in the 80's how exciting BUT officially now under 200 pounds... for those imperialists.... there seems to be something much more exotic about saying 86 pounds lost although I shouldn't minimise 39 or 40kg it's still quite as impressive isn't it?! :D

So another thing I've always wanted is a bustier, I think they are very sexy. I tried one on during the week and fell in love, however, it was suggested that I do down a body size (and up a cup size) and lo and behold they didn't have that size in stock.... but I have been a very cheeky girl and have found the style in the size I need online... and on special (how lucky am I with that these days). So the order has been placed! :D I also picked up some more workout gear... hahaha I am obsessed and the workout pants were all size 12. Now don't get me wrong I'm nowhere near about to run around and scream I am size 12 I know I'm not, but it's always great to have some pieces in your wardrobe that make you feel so great and make you want to work harder! :D

Early night me thinks to maximise that lovely massage! :D

Hope you are all having a great weekend!

New Boots!

2010-04-15T20:19:00.002+10:00

Come on you didn't expect me to let this milestone pass without blogging it !? :D These are my new boots, aren't they purdy! I have difficulty with getting boots to fit around my calves so I nearly wet my pants when I found these in Target and they fit! AND they were 25% off!

So I wore them with my new skirt on Monday BUT then on Tuesday I wandered into Katies and there was this grey dress that I just knew was the perfect dress to go with my new boots.... it basically screamed at me TAKE ME TO YOUR BOOTS!!! bahaahahahaha..... so who could resist? The cream on the cake... or the ummmm oops I should say the hummous on the carrot, was that it's a medium! :D

So check me out! hehehehehhe actually I have a red and black dress that will go great with my new boots too, but I did love this grey one! Fun fun fun all these new clothes to try and play with.

My favourite comment of the week, my trainer after telling me how proud he was with me said that if I hadn't of showed him the photos he never would have known I'd been so overweight. You have to remember I'm still getting used to my new bod and my new lifestyle and my new clothes hehehehehe sometimes I have to remind myself I'm not that heffer from last year! I even found some old photos from when I was England about 7 years ago, and I was a good 7-10 kg heavier when I was there, so I've really surpassed all my expectations and here I am still pushing for more! Can't ask for more than that right?

Tomorrow I have a flexi, Saturday I'm finally going to have a massage with my vouchers from my Booty Camper of the Year prize, ohhhh I can't wait! :D Have a phenomenal weekend and if you have them, wear your boots! heheheheheheh

Running, running, running....

2010-04-14T09:26:00.001+10:00

So I nixed the treadmill this morning and went for a run around my neighbourhood! Aren't I a good girl? :D I got onto Mapmyrun.com and mapped out a couple of different routes to check out their distance. Of course I then went and confused myself by thinking I was doing the 5km this morning when in fact I missed a critical turn and only did the 4km. But hey just a little over 30 mins and I was please with that, three hills I walked, but it takes me 40mins to do 4km on the treadmill, so I don't know what it is I don't feel I'm running faster outside but I must be. I must just psych myself out with being forced to run the same speed on the tready, at least out side you can speed up down inclines, slow up when you need to etc....

Anyway it was nice, the sun was coming up and it felt good to be out in the crisp air.

On the weekend I actually did a 9.6km run/walk. That's 3 laps around the park. I keep reading you should train for longer than your actually fun run is going to be (I'm doing the 8km Mother's Day Classic) and well I need to start building up bigger distances for the City 2 Surf as well. I pretty much walked the last lap but I wasn't going for any great speed I just wanted to complete all three laps, I did so in under 80 minutes, so I was quite pleased with that.

Trainer Nate is pushing me hard in Boot camp, now a days I get more reps than anyone else and instead of step ups yesterday I got to do jump squats up onto the ledge everyone else was doing step ups on! Lucky me hey! :(

I bought a variety pack of Uncle Toby's Oats the other week the honey, brown sugar cinnamin and golden syrup one.... I know they aren't as low GI as regular oats but I am in yummy heaven! I like them with half a cup of low fat milk. Mmmmmm, must be a winter thing now the weather is cooling down, needs to be a little cooler before I can pull the tag off my new winter coat.

Yesterday at lunch I just went to stretch my legs and ended up in Katies, I found a fantastic grey dress that will look AMAZING with my new knee high boots! A top and a vest later I got out of there heheheheheheheh. There was another dress and top I was I liked as I was leaving but I decided I needed to try to wear some of the clothes I already have! hehehehe

Happy hump day folks! :D

One Year Anniversary

2010-04-12T07:19:00.000+10:00

It's been a celebratory weekend. I started it off with a new PB on my 3.4km run beating last months time of 23:31 with a 22.20!

This weekend is the one year anniversary of the start of my journey. And what a journey it's been.

Last week and this weekend I did some shopping! It's so hard to stop! But come on everyone needs two pairs of jeans right? One to wear and one in the wash.... that's my excuse and I am sticking to it!

Here is my latest update photo.

While I've been quite strict on getting rid of clothes that are too big, I did keep my most comfy pants and my favourite top, so I could basically do this.

Pic 1 ME now! :D
Pic 2 pants and top doesn't it look like a clown suit, look how baggy the pants are at the feet.
Pic 3 showing how big the top is, biggest change is that my boobs no longer fill it out but they once did!
Pic 4 my belly also filled this out!
Pic 5 how did I ever fill these pants? It hasn't been long but it's very difficult even now to get my head around the fact that these pants were almost getting too small!
Pic 6 side view
Pic 7 yep that is ME in ONE leg..... now when people at work say I look half myself I understand why!

Why has this time been different, why have I been successful in a way that I never have been before? I have to say it's no one thing, it really is all the steps, decisions, choices and changes along the way.

One thing I have to say is that I really took some time to focus on what things happened in the past that would derail me, and as I came to these moments or situations I made a conscious choice to face them head on and get past them.

What are some of my top tips?

Don't diet.
Make lifestyle changes... it sounds cliche but it's because it works.
Lots of small gradual changes DO build up into a larger overall change.
Make a choice to lose the all or nothing attitude. One day of skipping exercise or eating chocolate is not what derails you, it's the choice you make the next day to chuck it all in that is your downfall.
Find some support, friends, family, work colleagues, a counsellor, a trainer, an online forum.... it doesn't matter who or what just find someone who will support and listen too you! It's encouraging during the good times, it's essential when you are struggling.
Start meeting friends for a coffee by going for a walk with them first, you can still talk and catch up... then sit down and enjoy a well deserved coffee.... but nix the muffin or pastry! ;)
Be honest with yourself, if you hear the word but in your head, it's simply an excuse, throw it away!
Get moving, the more you do the more you will want to do.
Find something you really enjoy and then set some goals.... for me it's turned out to be running, so I've focussed on some fun runs, and joined a running group. It can be anything, dancing, swimming, some kind of fitness certificate... or even some kind of holiday like being fit enough to go skiing or light enough to go horse riding..... or simply being able to climb a flight of stairs without needing an ambulance at the top. Find what you love, set some goals and go out and get them!

So what are my stat changes I hear you ask....

The number results are:

LOSSES
Weight : 39 kg (86 pounds)
Bust: 24 cm
Waist: 39.5 cm
Hips: 40 cm
Thigh: 13 cm
Arm: 6 cm

This equates to a 30% loss of my bodyweight to date.

So while I still have some more weight I'd like to lose, this years focus will be more on fitness, I expect the weight loss to be slower and it will be a little trial and error to see where I feel comfortable and what I can maintain, as I haven't been my current weight since before I went overseas in 1995. Another 5 kilos and I will be around my general weight as a teenager. Needless to say no matter what my weight at the moment I can safely say I am the fittest I've ever been and I love that feeling! :D

I had hoped to hit the 40kg mark but I can't complain about hitting 30% right?! Two more weeks and I'll be there and I shall keep challenging myself and pushing myself outside my comfort zone because it is that which seems to encompass the biggest change! :D

Enjoying Shopping Again....

2010-04-07T23:08:00.000+10:00

Finally my tax cheque came through.... note to self pay Accountant! hehehehhe. So one-third is straight into savings for the Snow trip in July, and most of the rest is paying things off and onto the credit card, but come on I had to leave a little bit for me right? I have no real clothes for the cooler weather.... no winter coat, so I just popped up to Target and K-mart at lunchtime to see what there was, oh how hard it is to resist when there are sales on. So I ended up picking up a really nice winter coat, on special and size 14! Woohoo me. A size 12 skirt (double woohoo) some tops and two vest tops which I've never been able to wear before due to looking crap! But then I never would have bought a coat with a belt either.

There's something so satisfying about going into the change room and not only having clothes fit but having them look nice! I often talked about having an hourglass shape even when I was quite large, but seriously I must have been deluding myself a lot of clothes that should have suited me didn't... oh yeah because basically I was fat! Great to see that waist back and just loving the variety of clothes opening up to me these days!

Now I say bring on the cold so I can wear my new winter coat! :D

Six Week Results... Goals.... and Sand Hills for Easter

2010-04-02T17:41:00.002+11:00

Hi all, Thursday was my end of session assessment for boot camp, gotta love em, they really do show how you are coming along!

So six weeks ago I was very proud to have hit a 6.0 on the beep test meaning after months of hard work I finally hit the average range! hehehehehehehe

Six weeks on these are my improvements:

Six weeks ago: ------------- Six weeks on

Beep test: 6.0 --------------- 7.3

Pushups one minute: 38---- 45

Wall sit: 130 secs ----------- 174

Plank: 137 secs ------------- 181

Flexibility: 12 --------------- 14

So I'm very pleased with my improvements I love seeing how what we've been doing helps translate into these results. Mostly I'm blown away that my flexibility went up I figured I might plateau a bit with that!

But then the scary facts to face are the next six weeks and making improvements on these new results! But that's the great challenge isn't it?

These results coincide with the end of an online challenge I was doing with some weightloss buddies. Only two of us finished but I'm happy to say that I achieved all my goals in that as well.

I had four goals they were (remember the total is the final 6 week figure):

Exercise calories

avg 500 per day 6 times a week for a total of 16500 - achieved 16794

Weight loss

avg half a kilo a week for a total of 3kg - achieved 3.3 kg

Water consumed

avg 3 ltrs a day for a total of 126000 mls - achieved 127000 mls

Exercise sessions

6 sessions a week for a total of 36 - achieved 36

What I really liked (we were using a spreadsheet) is that it really helped to see how and where you were going, if I had a bad water day where maybe I only had 2 litres, I tried to focus on doing a bit better on the next few days going over the average for those days to bring up the overall average, and what it does too is it shows you that the average of a week, month, six weeks can balance out and give you a much better picture than just one day!

It's that whole goal setting mentality which I believe is quite important. It gives you a short term focus and then you re-assess and set new goals. In weightloss this kind of thing can be the make or break for some people, but the biggest trick in it all is to not go great I achieved my goals and then go backwards, the trick is to remember to set new ones. It doesn't have to be as big as running a marathon, it might be as small as try to do 1 man pushup. And then when you achieve it, trying for 2 and so on and so on.

Last night I texted my sister's trainer to let him know how well I had done on my beep test and was invited to a sand hill session at Cronulla. I did a couple of these sessions over Christmas and let me tell you they were brutal, this is where the footballers train! Last year I had to crawl up literally from the first go and only managed four out of the five we were supposed to do. So imagine my surprise when we got there and I was told we were doing 10!! So my improvements were this I managed to walk up at least 3/4 of the hill before going on all fours to crawl, right at the top the hill goes almost vertical and the sand is so soft. And I did all 10, it took me 10 minutes longer than the guys but I finished the 10 in 30 minutes which mean I averaged 3 minutes a turn, last year it took me over 5 minutes to just complete one.

So both Trainer Christian and I were happy with these improvements. It's super hard but it's so satisfying when you are done to say I friggin did THAT!

Give me a few more months and it will be interesting to see what further improvements I can make... consider that a new goal from me! :D

Happy Easter folks!

Food Planning for the Unexpected...

2010-03-25T11:52:00.001+11:00

We all know that planning is a great tool when embarking on a healthy lifestyle, it helps us to keep on track, and can help make doing all those things we are supposed to do a little easier. It's when we get tired, don't plan or find life getting in the way that our planning can fall away and sometimes we do to.

But there are things we can plan for, for when our plans fail us. That's a mouthful or an oxymoron, but it's true, we can be prepared for the unexpected. A little research can turn a nightmare situation into an opportunity to enjoy ourselves but not ruin our efforts.

There's a lot of too and for arguements against fast food and "healthy" fast food options as to whether they really are the better options, all I can say is do a little research for yourself, have a stock pile of options that YOU know will work for you and your goals so when you find yourself with no other choice, well we all know that in reality there is always a choice! ;) These still might be considered as sometimes foods in Elmo's world, and yours, but you don't have to pick the greasiest, fattiest sometimes food, that leaves you feeling like crap or worse still hungry afterwards!

Let's look at some options, middle of nowhere, well we know if nothing else there is pretty much always a McDonalds in sight.

We could go for the:

Cheeseburger, Medium Fries, Medium Coke = 796 cals (and remember that's just a measly cheeseburger)

but really guys just because we find ourselves in Maccas does not mean we have to have chips.

Whether you consider them healthy options or not there are better choices than a burger, fries and coke.

There's the snack wrap or full wrap options:-

Seared Chicken Snack Wrap = 208 cals

Seared Chicken Tandoori Wrap = 321 cals

Seared Chicken Sweet Chilli Wrap = 371 cals

Add a garden salad to any of these for a measly extra 15 cals!

Or try one of these meals

McChicken, Garden Salad w. Italian Dressing w. Summit Water = 438 cals

McNuggets, 6 pieces w. Mustard Sauce, Garden Salad w. Italian Dressing w. Summit Water = 373 cals

Hamburger, Garden Salad w. Italian Dressing w. Summit Water = 266 cals

Fillet-o-Fish, Garden Salad w. Italian Dressing w. Summit Water = 333 cals

As you can see in comparison the problem with the extra calories almost always comes down to the chips! ;) But do some research on your favourite options so you always know what choices YOU DO HAVE!

Some other options include Kebabs:

So you are gonna want to nix the Beef Kebab with Salad at 624 without cheese or dressing it's still pretty high.

Try the:

Chicken w. salad, no cheese or dressing = 462 or the

Falafel w. salad, no cheese or dressing = 398

better yet check if they have the kids or baby kebab option at almost half the size of a regular kebab I've found them to be the perfect size to leave you satisfied. Or else, split a regular one with a friend. It really depends on what your calorie limit is for the day and what you find too much. Remember hommous and sauces need to be added on separately. And don't forget they make them for you, asking for more salad and less meat will also knock calories off.

Subway is another option where you have quite a bit of control over what goes onto the roll, but don't forget they also have salads:

Salad w. 6g Fat or Less, Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, no dressing = 194

Salad w. 6g Fat or Less, Subway Club, no dressing = 120

Even a Foot Long, Meatball with no dressing at 467 won't necessarily completely break the calorie bank especially if you've been killing it at the gym but some better options include (all on the wheat bread):

6" Sub Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, no dressing = 342

6" Sub Subway Club, no dressing = 268

6" Sub Roast Beef, no dressing = 261

6" Sub Veggie Delite, no dressing = 206

You might even find some of these low enough in cals to spring for some cheese. :D

Now there are more options, places that make the sandwiches for you, fruit salad with one scoop of yoghurt, sushi and all that, so spend some time picking some of your favourite options, write them down and keep them in the car or your wallet so if you find yourself out of your routine but don't want to blow your calories for the day or you've gone out with the girls and want to join in but again don't want to break the calorie bank, peek at your list to remind yourself what options you do have that work for you!

This works for dinner out as well, many restaurants have menu's available online, which allow you to work out viable options before you go. So in line with my post recently about living your life, you definitely don't have to live like a monk, get out there with your friends and family, be prepared or be prepared for the unexpected, and remember to enjoy yourself and enjoy the company you are with!

Pain pain go away....

2010-03-24T16:57:00.001+11:00

Wowzers I completely forgot how smashed you can get doing weights. Trainer Nate came over for a one on one and showed me and my two kitty cats how to knock myself for six almost. Hehehehe they were pretty confused to see a strange man in the house but Buffy can't help herself if it means getting her ears or belly rubbed. For the most part the stayed out of the way a few runs back to the exercise room from the balcony they were used as obstacles, all a part of the process! Anyway, some skipping and a variety of compound exercises with considerably heavy weights for me! And some nasty nasty lunges with 20 kg weights, that I was supposed to bicep curl on the way up but physically couldn't! hehehehe followed by man push ups! Damn! I laughed at him and said I will try and then did them. I still need to work on optimal depth he said that will come as I get stronger.

This session was then followed by boot camp the next morning (yesterday) more leg bashing with step ups and squat jumps onto the platform we had been using for step ups and more skipping! Arrrgggg I hate it but love it because I know it's good for me hehehehe.

Today I just did a lazy jog, and ONLY because I knew moving was going to help my shoulders and bum more than not doing anything.... they are soooo sore today. I texted my trainer that I hated him, he thinks it's funny!

Maybe he won't find it so funny tomorrow when I have the boxing gloves on and "accidently" punch him in the nose tee hee hee!

Ahhh soreness is one of those other things we love and hate, we love to feel it because we know it means we worked out tooshies off! But then we want it to go away because ... well you know ... it hurts! :D

Back to Trainer Christian next week ahhhhh I really am a glutton for punishment aren't I!?

Live Life Love...

2010-03-22T09:41:00.000+11:00

There was a question on the Calorie King Forums over the weekend, a young girl nervous about going to Melbourne to visit her family, worried she may succumb to unhealthy food choices and no exercise.

The consensus was that she should go, use the time to put into practice the lessons she's learnt, use the free family babysitting as an opportunity to get out and exercise.

Then there was devil's advocate who stated if she was that worried she should not go until she had reached her goal. This struck a nerve with me and let me tell you why....

As a chronic, (ex) yo-yo dieter I have spent the majority of my life putting stuff off, or dreaming about how great my life will be when I reach my goal. I've spent years not going on family vacations to the snow, no longer horse riding, avoiding dating, among many other things hiding myself away from the world.

Here's the thing, firstly your life will likely be very similar when you reach goal, but you will be lighter and healthier. Here's the kicker losing weight won't make your problems go away, BUT developing a more positive outlook on life will likely make these things easier to deal with, they WILL likely still be there though. I say this because I've seen quite a few people lose weight only to put it back on because their problems didn't disappear with their weight, or their life didn't change into a perfect fairytale.

Secondly, though, in all seriousness, LIVE YOUR LIFE. I'm only about two-thirds of my way to my goal, but if I continued to wait until I reached goal these are the things I would have missed out on, boot camp (because seriously I never would have joined up), a trip to Queensland, running in my first fun run, going to the snow this year, horse-riding again, a trip to Melbourne, the Mother's Day Classic, the City to Surf, dating, going out more with friends, enjoying wearing clothes that fit, watching myself actually grow into a happier person.

I'm not gonna lie to you, we all have bad days, feel nervous, worry about changes in our routine, but guess what!? Life is full of change, stuff happens, you have to learn to roll with it, or you won't survive maintanence. It took 7 months to the day of diagnosis for my mum to succumb to her cancer, life is too short, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and my legacy would be well there was all this stuff I was gonna do when I got to goal, but oops I died first? Really? Because I guarantee if you haven't learnt how to cope with changes and trips and all the things life throw at you along your journey your maintenance will last about a week and that weight will be back on before you know it. Why? Because it's a lifestyle change, waiting intimates that you are dieting, you know it does, and really what a miserable life holed up in your house not going anywhere or doing anything because it might interfere with you routine.... sound familiar? Frankly that's exactly what I was doing that got me to 130kg in the first place.

Embrace change, live your life, your goal will come when it comes, don't stop living in the meantime. Personally I think that's a miserable exsistence I've lived that life, and I will take this life I have now full of excitement and change and if I get hit by a bus tomorrow at least I know I've embraced my life, I might not be my goal weight yet but at least I've been living!

Elmo Says...

2010-03-18T16:28:00.000+11:00

I know it might seem odd, but I was listening to my morning radio show in the car one morning and they were interviewing Elmo... you know from Sesame Street. It was something to do with encouraging kids to eat healthy all the like. He said in his squeaky little voice Elmo says Cookies are a sometimes food and Apples are an everyday food. It really hit a chord with me. It was then I made the decision (and yes it is a choice and a decision) to stop viewing food as good or bad, or naughty and boring all those connotations that send us spinning into that All or Nothing Attitude if we have the bad or naughty food.

A healthy diet is about balance. Sometimes this balance has to be learnt, but their is no denying that if you completely deny yourself you are likely to return to old habits quickly and efficiently. Now a days I don't feel bad if I have my cake and eat it too, I just don't have it every day. I'm mindful when I eat it, and I stop when I am full because I know I can have some again another time if I want to.

I've quickly discovered that the longer you eat well, and eat enough the more of everyday foods you want. Recently I thought I felt like some KFC so off I went and had some and when I was finished I thought... is that it? The joy and pleasure I thought I used to get out of it, was gone, the shine and polish rubbed away, I'd much prefer a nice mango and some yoghurt or a yummy steak with a pile of salad. Sometimes I'm not sure who this new me is but I like her! She's much more enjoyable to be around.

See if Elmo says it simply enough for kids to grasp why is the concept not good enough for us adults? I've decided it's simple enough for me... what about you?

Boxing and Rowing

2010-03-17T09:00:00.001+11:00

So I guess I kinda need to explain something about the two amazing people I call my sisters. They aren't actually blood related. After my mum died and my brother stuck his head up his arse and moved away without telling me where he, his wife and my niece where moving too, my girlfriends adopted me into their family. Now they are sisters, well half sisters if you want to get technical, they lost their mum when younger sister (only by a few months) and I were at school together. The same year my mum died they both unexpectedly lost their dads, so you can probably see why we bonded so strongly t'was a hard year for us all. But aside from that Wendy (younger sis) had developed her own relationship with my mother, so for her it was like losing another mum, but I have to tell you she has been a god-send an absolute rock and has seen me through my darkest hours.

Last night I told her how lately I'd been thinking back to last April when we had a conversation about wanting to lose weight and how we'd all started doing something but hadn't really told anyone or each other (for me it was a well if I don't tell anyone and I don't succeed I've no one to let down). But Wendy got very much into we NEED to tell each other, we NEED to talk to and support each other, we NEED to be accountable to each other, and thus it began. I really feel like that conversation kinda well..... you know, helped save my life.... soppy much I know, but true nonetheless.

So yesterday was my big training day, boot camp in the morning, and off to Wendy and Trainer Christian last night. Last night we did some boxing, so this was the first time I'd done boxing with Trainer Christian and the first time I got to box with Wendy. We focussed on quality technique versus fast and furious but by god we still worked hard, my 651 calorie burn showed me that! But I also discovered Wendy hits like a freaking maniac boy and I hit like a girl! hahahahahahhaha We both enjoyed it though as her usual partner doesn't offer her enough resistance, but man I took her punches for all god and glory.

Secondly, I bounce alot, and Trainer Christian wanted me to work more from my core, with less bounce, so that's something I will have to focus on in my other sessions, I figured that the little bounce gave me more power but that power comes from my legs then and not my core and arms, so it was an interesting lesson! Of course Wendy grew up with 5 others, two older brothers, so she learnt early on to hit to connect or be killed hehehehehehehe, I thought I hit pretty hard but nope. We did these sit up sets inbetween which were murder but I was able to pretty much keep up with the pace set which I found surprising because in my other training we do crunches not full sit ups, but I managed to do pretty good.

Lastly, I've been dying to try out the rower, I don't have access to a gym, and everytime I've been to Trainer Christian we go down to the car park and have to run up that bloody hill! hehehehe, so after boxing while everyone else went for a run, I got to do 2km on the rower. Yippee I thought until about 300m in I was over it! heheheheheh I guess I thought it would be easy, let me tell you, IT IS NOT! I did finish like he wanted before the other girls got back from their run, but it was much harder going than I anticipated. Lesson - keep mouth shut! bahahahahahahaha. Anyway I managed to do the 2km in about 9 minutes 30 seconds something, I don't know if that is really good or not, Trainer Christian seemed pleased with the effort. The numbers just weren't ticking down as fast as I thought they would, what is up with that hehehehehe.

So today I shall just have a nice easy walk after work and tomorrow is back to my regular programming! I go back to Trainer Christian in a fortnight, although Wendy and I were making these sessions monthly, because I have my four week challenge I'm adding in an extra session.

Hope you are all enjoying your training and working hard, remember you will only see changes if you push yourself outside your comfort zone a little each time! ;) Happy Hump Day!

I've seen my excuses, now what? (How to get over yourself)...

2010-03-16T15:36:00.002+11:00

Make sure you've read Excuses, Excuses, Excuses first, as this is like a part 2'er!

So I've been having a little think about my excuses post and I suppose the next logical question would be once you've identified them, how do you put not accepting them into practice. I've had a long hard think about this especially as reading the forum can drive you a little insane with excuse after excuse after excuse just falling out from people. There's a mirad of strategies you can employ different ones work for different people you may have to try one or two before you find the one that hits home for you, but you know what the first thing is that you have to do.... the thing I realised I had to do.... you have to GET OVER YOURSELF. Get out of your own way, stop humming and ahhhing and thinking about all the reasons you have for not doing it or for not succeeding before, get off your arse and just DO IT! Nike were not stupid when they took this up for a slogan.

It may sound harsh but it's really true you have to get over yourself before you can make any steps in moving forward. I realised one day I was just over it, I was sick and tired of being fat, it was making me miserable it wasn't helping reach any of my goals, it certainly wasn't helping me meet someone to share my life with but what it was doing was leading me straight into an early grave or a reality TV show on how one day I woke up and couldn't get out of bed!

I guess you have to find that part of you that wants to be healthy much more than being fat, much more than that momentary feeling of pleasure or comfort that food gives you, you have to find those feelings from somewhere else.

You then have to learn to temper that all or nothing attitude because it will get you NOWHERE! All it got me was lose 10kg put on 20kg. All the way up to 130kg. When I lived in England I had a morbidly obese friend who died just before I came back to Australia from complications, he was 34. I used to think how could he have let himself get that far, I really thought at the time it was something I'd always remember and never do to myself but geez we can really REALLY FOOL ourselves, and denial is an amazingly powerful thing and at 130kg my BMI was 42 - morbidly obese. Shockingly it's much easier to get there than we even know.

Really I've come to realise that that All or Nothing Attitude is simply another excuse, an excuse to give up when we feel it's all gotten a bit too hard, rather than going OK, I over ate today, I didn't exercise today, SO WHAT! We are so unkind to ourselves, pick yourself off, dust yourself off and keep going. It's not one day that undoes all your hard work, it's that one day that you let turn into every other day.

So now that I've gotten that off my chest what are some of the things I've found that worked for me?

It's about more than identifying issues, it's about truly dealing with them. You know when people say feel the feeling, it's uncomfortable, but we've spent so long stuffing our emotions down if you don't feel the bad with the good, you dull the good as well.
Find other ways to deal with your emotions. We've all heard it, go exercise, go for a walk, a run, a class, call a friend, clean a cupboard, we spend all our time distracting ourselves with food, FIND ANOTHER WAY TO DISTRACT YOURSELF!
Exercise! Remember you don't have to go hell for leather, start off walking a couple of times a week, I did! The more I did and the more weight I lost the more I wanted to do. Exercise releases the same endorphins we get when we eat our comfort foods, but I have come to find that the high from exercise lasts SOOOOOO much longer and is so much more worthwhile!
Plan. We all know that no matter how much we prepare or plan things can go astray, so plan for the unexpected. Keep things like small packets of fruit and nuts, protein bars, or even a piece of fruit in your handbag. Research the best options for when you find yourself caught out and about. Understand that even if you find no other choice than McDonalds, that a salad and a sweet chilli chicken wrap are your better options. Look at meal planning and shop to that plan, cook double and keep spare portions in the freezer, so that when you can't be bothered there is still something at hand. All those commonsense things we think about, DO THEM!
Don't keep things that tempt you in the house. These days I can keep a block of dark chocolate in the house and portion it out to myself. Two weeks ago I decided to try a dessert I'd seen a few people do, small meringue nests, with my homemade yoghurt and fruit... guess what after scoffing four of the meringue nests one night I realised they wouldn't be making a reappearance in my kitchen anytime soon! Lesson learnt... move on. It's really worth having a good clean out of the pantry, I did that a little while ago and I really enjoy opening the door and knowing what I have in there these days. Once every couple of months have a good look to see what's in there to use in your meal plan for the week, commit to saying I'm only going to allow myself to buy fruit and vegies but I'm going to use what I have in the pantry and freezer for the rest of the week. If you've been ensuring that each week you're bringing good healthy food into the house, there should be plenty you can do!
Have someone to chat too. I have been super lucky that my sisters had also embarked on a journey to a more healthy life, together we've been able to make it a family lifestyle change, and we've been able to talk to each other about ups and downs, and support each other. It doesn't have to be family but it does help to have someone you can talk to, family, friend, buddy, forum support, or even a counsellor, doctor, whatever works for you!
Goals. Set some goals, for me I've found that I quite enjoy running, so I set myself some fun run goals to meet. Don't like running, that's fine, it doesn't have to be an exercise goal but it helps to have something to achieve, it can be one goal or more than one goal. Write them down, tick them off as they happen, add more as you achieve the ones on your list. Even when you've lost the weight you wanted to lose, you will still need goals, without them you risk going great I've done it now I don't need to try anymore.... and we all know where that leads.
Motivation. You can find inspiration in a lot of things, people, comments, stories, pictures, well basically in everything around you, but there's only one place you get motivation from, yourself. All those other things can provide you with tools, but you are still the only one that can get off your arse and do it.
EAT! You do not need to starve yourself to lose weight in fact doing so is not healthy and WILL NOT help you reach your goals. You need to eat enough and in doing so you do so much more for your body and your health and you will lose weight as well.

Remember all these things are tools, and they are only as helpful as you employ them to be. If you work them and with them they may help you, but if you use them as excuses and give up on yourself then off course the tools will be deemed useless. But at the end of the day the only person you let down is yourself.

Philosophical enough for you guys? Have a good one.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses...

2010-03-16T13:35:00.001+11:00

This was a guest blog over at That's Just How I Roll, I've left Jess' comments in because her comments and examples further illustrate my points! :D

Excuses, excuses, excuses.... it took me a long time to realise what mine were, now I see them everywhere in a lot of other people and I get frustrated… oops, I think I’m supposed to be more compassionate! But truly you can only lead a horse to water you can't make it drink... so cliché I know but SO TRUE. A lot of people are so caught up in the next quickest fix they can find, they really don’t want to HEAR the reality of the situation, you just seriously want to shake them up and say if you put half the effort into eating well and exercising than you did in researching and trying to take a crack at the latest fad thing you'd be closer to your goal than you are ever going to be!

Why are we so full of ourselves when it comes to these things, human nature, protection, emotional safety, ignorance, I don't know for sure... I think for me it was a mixture of all of them yet I don’t think I was ignorant I had the knowledge I just didn’t use it. I just know that since I have taken responsibility for my own excuses, it annoys me to see others covered in them. Like a reformed smoker, I guess in part I’m a reformed ex–dieter. What is that thing they say when you have that feeling about a new person you meet that you don't like them, it's usually that you see something in them that you don't like about yourself.... philosophical much?

A lot of people aren’t ready to “hear” this kind of thing and really everyone has to come to their realisation in their own time. How do you know it’s an excuse when the inevitable BUT comes into play, I know I should eat healthy BUT… I know I should exercise BUT…

Let's explore some of these excuses:

I'm too busy/don't have time

We all know this one is the biggest crock of all. I’ll ask the same question Australian Motivational speaker Craig Harper asked in his blog recently, How much time do you spend watching TV? Truthfully now! If you have time to sit down and stuff your face for an hour in front of the TV, you have time to exercise! God’s honest truth ;) And for all those mums out there get the kids involved, take them out for a walk, to the park, or simply get on the floor and crawl around with them for half an hour, bet you'll be huffing and puffing by the end of it! I see a lot of women with prams down my local park, there's as much time as you are willing to give it.

It's too hard

What's too hard buying apples instead of chocolate? Making a stir-fry instead of ordering a pizza... it's all relative but even after all these years, I still surprise myself how quick a bag of frozen stir-fry vegies and some meat take to throw together! Nothing hard about it except attitude! If it’s really all too hard I’d say it’s simply down to lack of education on the topic, get out there and learn some stuff!

Eating healthy is more expensive

Here's another CROCK! Especially for me because I would buy fruit, vegies and meat and it would all go off while I then went on to buy take-aways and other crap, please tell me how many of you have rotten fruit in the bowl right now! A bag of apples does not cost more than a block of chocolate, we all know it, the chocolate you will inhale in an evening and then you need to buy more, an apple a day will last you a week. OK there will be the occasional thing, like say buying Burgen bread over tip top, but on an overall scale, you should be spending less. Really!! I'm always shocked to discover how much fruit and veg I can get for $30, that previously I'd be lucky if that $30 lasted me two days on lunch and dinner take-out. I don't agree that eating well costs more. I know some people may disagree, but I say look again at your meals and your portions. Buy less of a more expensive leaner cut of meat and bulk it out with vegetables, you are doing yourself AND your family more than one favour in doing things like this. And you know what else you don’t HAVE to buy a gym membership, walking and jogging and even dancing round your living room are all free! There’s a great quote floating about I don’t know who says it, but it goes if you think you can’t afford to be healthy then you better be able to afford being sick.

(Jess' note: Ever tried feeding a family of four at Maccas these days?? It costs in excess of $30 bucks. Seriously, head down to the supermarket, get a tray of pre-cut beef strips ($7) some frozen stir fry veggies ($6) and a tub of icecream ($4). You've just spent $17 total, you've spent half, and you're not compromising your kids/partner's health.

We've probably offended some people here, but what's a bag of potatoes cost? $4 max? Make your own chips as well if they toss up about it!! Control what you put in your mouth, it really isn't that hard when you change your lifestyle.)

I can't do it

Why not? Really I used to think sometimes how can I live having to eat an apple maybe every day.... seriously I say to myself now, because I had no problem eating chocolate every day or fried food everyday to get myself into the morbidly obese category at my highest weight. Learn to love a variety of foods, so right now, mango and rockmelon are at the top of my favourites list, and soon mango will be out of season, but that's what I'm liking right now so if I have some everyday good for me I say. Eat well every day and YOU CAN DO IT! Again mind and attitude are quite the key.

I'm lazy

You know I spent a long time saying this about myself, "Oh I'm fundamentally lazy" it is what I'd say to people, usually throwing in the, it’s too hard comment with it. You know what they say, mind over matter, if you tell yourself something enough, you come to believe it, it so comes to pass. So I stopped saying it, and guess what not only did I stop being it, I stopped believing it and I STOPPED using it as an excuse!

I'm too embarrassed

This is a good one isn't it, I can't go to the gym everyone will look at me.... seriously if you think this is the case, you haven't been to the gym in a long time, folks here's the reality of gym life, the men are too busy checking themselves out (openly) in the mirrors, and the women are too busy, sneaking peaks at themselves and worrying about everyone else looking at them.... so who do you think is looking at you? Gyms are for exercise, health and wellbeing, is this explicit only to thin people? NO.... but gyms aren't the only form of exercise, just get out and get walking, take a walk down your local park or local business centre, do it first thing in the morning and also try a lunch time, you would be surprised to see the amount of people doing something but also the shapes and sizes! This excuse is all in your head! And if someone does say something well imagine how bad they must be feeling about themselves to have to resort to making fun of you to make themselves feel better. What a sad life they must live!

I have a slow metabolism

Well go to the doctors and get it checked out, if you've been a chronic yo-yo dieter you may have done this to yourself, but the reality is most people's metabolism is just fine, it's another... that's right excuse it often goes hand in hand with our next one....

But I eat healthy

My sister use to pull this one out, yet she clocked her highest weight at 104kg. Many people who think they eat healthy blame it on.... you are getting it aren't you! Yep a slow metabolism... but guess what comes into play here folks.... PORTION SIZE! When my sister finally woke up to her excuses, despite her love of vegies, her day went, no breakfast, little lunch, couple of coffees, a caramello koala for afternoon tea, and then at least two servings of dinner! I saw a show on TV a little while ago where they tested a comedian who was overweight, she claimed she ate healthily but obviously had a slow metabolism. Guess what they did the tests and her metabolism was fine. Next they made her keep a food diary, but they also made her drink this stuff that then through some kind of test measured how many cals she was ACTUALLY eating, the first week, she under-reported by over 60%, her bowl of morning fruit salad was THREE times the portion size it should have been. She thought she was eating about 1200 cals a day but was in fact eating 3000 cals a day how crazy is that! Too much of anything can result in weight gain folks, so guess what yep another excuse!

I didn't lose any weight this week so it's not worth it.

Seriously! It's not worth increased health function, feeling better about yourself, possibly loss of cm's and just general good wellbeing.... ummmm OK. We all know that all these numbers are just a guide, and the body can fluctuate, it is helpful to see those numbers go down when losing weight but they are not the be all and end all. If they affect you that much then you need to put the scales away and only hop on them once a month. Or do what I did in the beginning, I didn't want to know the actually numbers upfront, I suspected I was around 130kg but I didn't want to know about it at the time. So once a month I went to my sisters, she weighed and measured me and simply gave me the stats, what I'd lost. This way I couldn't obsess over them. When I was ready I asked for the numbers and took over doing it for myself, but your focus should be on health and wellbeing, it doesn't happen overnight, so give yourself and the scales a break, because seriously throwing it in over that is just a pitiful excuse! By all means use the figures as a gauge to look into your exercise and eating habits, but be honest with yourself, you didn't lose weight because you didn't lose weight or you didn't lose weight because well you ate 3 blocks of chocolate and drank 2 bottles of wine....?

I’m not motivated or I need someone else to motivate me

Yeah this one is hard for a lot of people because they just don’t get that the only person who can motivate them is THEMSELVES. You can be inspired by others, helped by others, take on advice from others, but only you can put it into practice and do it for yourself. By all means create a support group of people to talk to, but remember when it comes to the crunch you are the only one who can actually do it.

I’m stressed

Yep it happens, life throws up doozies. I tend to find right about the time you start to do something for yourself is when something gets thrown right in your path… guess what shit happens, I realised these things were sent to test me, to see if I had truly learned something, how I deal with things has changed greatly, I don’t eat my emotions anymore. These things will happen in life and you need to look at what strategies will help you through the stressful time while being conducive to your goals, sitting on the lounge for months on end eating chips and chocolate…. doesn’t work, take it from someone who knows. Go for a walk, run, talk to a friend, colleague, counsellor, take up a hobby, do something that is truly helping you, not something that will feel good for 30 minutes and then makes you hate yourself again!

My family/partner/friends don’t understand or can eat whatever they like and not put on weight

The world is an interesting place some people seem to have it lucky, they seem to be able to eat whatever they want do no exercise and not put on any weight, have you seen these people once they hit middle age, trust me it’s not pretty. In fact sometimes I think it’s worse for them, because they put on some weight and they are very confused about what the heck to do, because they’ve never had to worry. Everyone is dealt their own deck of cards, focus on your own because everyone has some kind of issue in their lives they need to deal with weight related or otherwise, and the only person you can truly help is yourself. Talk to your family and friends about it, so what if it’s the 200th time you are starting, be accountable for yourself, explain your goals to them, if they won’t support you, don’t talk to them about it, find others you can talk to about it and push on, you are after all doing it for YOU.

(Jess' note: I have a killer here too… don’t just watch these people’s eating habits when you are around them. My brother is only 70kg at about 186cm… he’s skinny as. Seems to be able to eat whatever he wants!! But I have watched his eating habits very closely since starting this “journey”. Especially during a meal (sorry Andy!!). He eats slowly. VERY slowly in fact. Chews his food slowly, stops to take a drink of water. It takes him twice as long to eat a meal as it does for me. Because, let’s face it, when we’re hungry, we’re hungry!! Down the hatch it goes. But that’s not all. I see what he eats when he’s not out with other people, and he’s not CONSTANTLY snacking and picking at things. He eats his main meals. Doesn’t matter what time it is, he listens to his body’s signals. If he is genuinely hungry, he has a meal, doesn’t matter if it’s 3pm.

Ok, so this won’t work for a lot of us, but study the habits closely of the thin people around you who only appear to eat garbage. Your friend might have just demolished 5 tim tams, but chances are she went for a run this morning and will be paying for those tim tams, because they’re the only ones she’s had all year!!

Chances are, thin people work hard to stay that way. Yes, there are the minority that do whatever (like brickies who eat crap ALL the time, but let’s face it, they have a physical job, they can get away with it!) and never, ever gain weight until they slow down.

So next time you’re around one of those people, just watch them. In a non-stalker like way. See what their habits are!)

It’s too overwhelming

This kind of goes along with the too hard basket, but it’s only as hard as you make it. Small sustainable changes are SO important. So pick one thing you want to change and make that the focus for the week. Always have white bread? Switch if for brown bread. Don’t drink enough water, start with a 750ml bottle and just aim to drink that every day for a week. If you add one new thing each week you will soon find a whole lot of little changes add up to a big change. I have found this really helps smash that all or nothing mentality, I have to do everything perfectly or I won’t bother, what a shame that is, because just some small changes can really make a huge difference!

(Jess' Note: Make sure that you revisit each of these changes. Keep a log book, until they become habit. Trust me, it works!!)

I can’t say no or I’ll offend the cook/host/friend/family member/shop owner….

Really? Rubbish I say, if you’ve already spoken to your friends or family about this then there should be no issue, but so you are out to a dinner party and don’t really know the host, gosh thanks I’m so stuffed it was delicious. That’s going to offend someone? No one is forcing the food into your mouth if you truly feel you must accept something, take a bite or two and leave the rest, because otherwise this excuse falls on you shovelling the food into your own mouth! ;)

So where do you go from here??

You have to be willing to actually get honest with yourself and maybe even your friends and family if you feel that will help, if you don’t these excuses and your own bad habits will be forever sabotaging ANY attempt you make at living a healthier lifestyle. That’s not to say there won’t be times you slip up, we are human but as long as you learn from it and pick yourself up NOTHING is wasted that’s right there is no waste when a LESSON is learnt. That’s my quote for you to live by! ;)

So what about you, I’m sure I’ve only scratched the surface of excuses we use, what are some of your excuses, and have you thrown them out the door? Do you still use them? Did you just realise they were an excuse? Come share your story with me and Jess, give us something to read for a while!

Have a great day.

One Year Anniversary Goals - 4 weeks to go

2010-03-15T11:26:00.000+11:00

The 12th April is my one year anniversary since embarking on this journey. From today that's exactly four weeks. So I am embarking on a personal challenge, there are some things I want to attempt to achieve by then. I'll be realistic, but anything on top of that is gravy.... or some non food item hehehe.

So I'll ramp up my exercise, I did this just before Christmas, even though I gave myself the day off on Christmas Day I increased my exercise to help get me a step ahead. I only work that hard for short periods of time, because this is a lifestyle and both exercise and food have to be sustainable for the long term. Training too hard for too long can cause, burnout and injuries, so I focus on a short sustainable burst, after which I'll have a recovery period and then get back into a more regular training mode.

So my aim is to get as close to a 40 kg loss as possible currently I'm at 36.9 kg. Now 3.1 kg in four weeks is doable, but I'm also at a stage where anything could happen, I could plateau or my body could just refuse to co-operate or it could just slow right down. So I will have to see how it goes, I refuse to be hard on myself for simply trying.

My first pit stop is 37.5 kg's lost that will mean I have a BMI in the overweight range rather than the obese range. Seeing I started out in the morbidly obese category this will be quite a nice pit stop to make.

What comes on top of that will be a super bonus.

So be sure to check in and see how I am doing, I'll be reporting progress along the way.

The Jeans and Tank top Milestone...

2010-03-13T20:55:00.001+11:00

Another post today to celebrate another small milestone. One of the things I always wanted to be able to do when heavier was to wear that tank/t-shirt and jeans combo and look half way decent. Today I decided to wear my new size 12 jeans and while deciding on a top I yanked out a tank and popped it on, pleased with the effect I later topped it with a short sleeved cardy and out I went!

It's been quite important for me to take photos along this journey, it's only recently that the picture in my head of how I look is starting to match how I actually look in photos. This has been quite out of sync for some time.

I look forward to getting more involved with weights as I feel the need to really get some areas much more toned! ;)

I also have suspected that my bra size was changing, and so I went and tried on a couple of smaller sizes and low and behold my suspicions were correct! So I picked up a couple more sports bras in the smaller sizes, because it's important to keep the girls in tight when running and the like! hehehehehe

Personal Best's (PB's)

2010-03-13T10:00:00.000+11:00

Last month I found this running group called Westie's Joggers, let me tell you they are a super lovely bunch of folks. They do a variety of runs, once a month they have a 10km and a 3.4km. These runs are handicapped, meaning the faster runners are timed to go later so that everyone finishes around a similar time. You can walk the 3.4km too, a bunch of ladies head off and do it together it's very sweet!

So I decided to go try it out last month because I was looking for a 3kish run to practice running the whole way. Your time gets recorded so it's great to keep track of and they give your your real time minus the handicap as well. Last month my aim was to run the whole 3.4km course irrespective of the time, which I achieved. My time was 25:52, which I was pretty pleased with anyway. Seeing I met my aim of running the entire course, I had to set a new goal, I wanted to better my time, based on some of my running since then I was simply aiming to get it under 25 minutes, although any time betterment (hehehehehe is that a word) would be acceptable.

Imagine my surprise when I blew my time completely out of the water by over 2 minutes, finishing today in 23:31. This had the handicapper telling me my handicap would be increased next month, this seemed to upset some people, but frankly I don't care when I start it's about when I finish! :D

So what do I set for next month? I think I'll keep it pretty realistic, it's unlikely I can keep doing that big a drop every time, so the aim will be to get it under 23 mins. What's your goal for the next month?

New training goal and size 12 jeans

2010-03-11T22:55:00.001+11:00

So for those of you who have just joined my blog, I probably need to bring you up to speed with what happened to me at the beginning of the year. Well it actually started last year, around November my boot camp started asking people to submit their stories for how boot camp had helped them achieve their goals. At the time I'd lost about 25kg so I thought gotta be in to win it. Initially they were offering the prize of a beauty voucher, but they soon added free membership for the year and a trophy. My first week back to boot camp, a strange man showed up at my session with a trophy and I was awarded Boot Camper of the Year. It was very exciting mostly because I felt the prize of free training for the year to be a HUGE BONUS!

So anyway I promised my sister that if I won I would make a date to come once a month and train with her and her trainer, Trainer Christian, he is a HARD ARSE! hehehehehe but somehow in a manage in the depths of feeling like I'm going to die to be able to do things I didn't know I could do and it makes me push myself in my other training. So Tuesday was the second month but Trainer Christian was away we had sweet Ms Jo, that cow was a wolf in sheeps clothing, all nice and sweet but kicking our arses just the same! These monthly jaunts mean I have to double up. Because they are on a Tuesday I train in the morning and then the evening. I choose to do this because it really shakes up my routine and means one week a month I'm going extra hard. But I have my one year anniversary coming up on April 12th, so I've decided to push a little harder for the next four weeks to maximise try to maximise my weightloss in that time. I'd like to get as close to 40kg's lost as possible. I don't want to further calorie restrict so I chose to kick up my exercise routine. In doing this I'm back to my sister's next week to see Trainer Christian, I didn't think it was fair he'd missed his session with me! ;)

In addition I've spoken to Trainer Nate about a one on one session to create some weights to add to my program, I want to work at building some muscle, because it's good for you, the more muscle the more fat you burn! As I've lost a considerable amount of weight, and even though I would like to lose more I want to minimise any saggy skin issues, I still don't know what the final effects are going to be, but the more I do to help hopefully the minimal damage will be visible. In doing this Trainer Nate has started pushing me harder in the sessions as well, we had boxing again this morning which was HARD, because I am sore from my double training session Tuesday, but I'm not really complaining, I want him to push me harder.

So that's my plan for the next few weeks. I've let Trainer Nate know my plan and I am sure at the end I'll be ordered to take a rest period as he's quite big on that so I know I'll be OK.

So what was the best thing about today? My new purchase, size 12 jeans! How exciting is that? Well it is and it isn't. We all know by now that Australia is just rubbish in the clothes size stakes, with no sizing standards, shop to shop and collection to collection can vary, leaving the average Australian woman confused about her actual size, especially when you can have 3 clothes sizes in your closet! Now Target have always been a little generous in their sizes at times I have found PARTICULARLY in their jeans, even when I was a 26 top and 22 pants I was only an 18 in Target jeans but heck who cares! A couple of weeks ago I tried on a 14 and thought they were pretty spot on but decided today to try a 12 and found them perfect. Now I don't like my jeans loose, so I am sure that helps too, but hey if a piece of clothing tagged 12 makes me feel great who am I to deny myself! They had 20% so I got some more discounted workout pants and tops as well, round the $7 and $11 mark, can't have too many work out clothes! :D

Do you have a goal you are working towards or have you discovered something enjoyable in the exercise you do? I've actually come to enjoy running, I think I like endurance better if I can control my pace then I can go for much longer than if I'm forced into a pace I find uncomfortable, that is unless I know what the end point is, I can run faster if I know it's only going to last a shorter period of time. Now I'm rambling! Anyway, it's not for everyone but maybe in your journey you've uncovered a swimmer or a bike rider or a secret penchance for pole dancing? ;) Who knows, but feel free to let me know about it!

Why diets don't work...

2010-03-10T11:42:00.001+11:00

Food.... mmmmm. Just gotta love it! I'll let you in on a little secret, DIETS DON'T WORK! There whew I got it out, I know this because I've been dieting for years and managed to reach 130 kg not really a great testimonial!

I mean well here's the thing, they do work.... in the short-term, and then we go "off" them and we put the weight we have lost back on and usually more. Here's the thing Diet usually equals Deprivation, either through calorie restriction, food group restriction of some sort, or just deprivation in general, this often plays havoc with both our body and our minds. Isn't it interesting that the the multi billion dollar diet industry is mostly a farce, it's set up so that you will fail and you will go back time and time again and spend more money!

That's not to say that there isn't some good advice out there, but guess what! I'm sorry to say there is no quick, effortless fix. Yep sorry folks, if that's what you are looking for you might want to stop reading now. The thing is, it's a long haul thing. You have to decide what it is you really want, wanna drop a lot of weight quickly, possibly unhealthy and not worry that later you will put it back on plus more then sure go for it, there are LOADS of things out there to help you do that. This is why diets don't work, eating well, eating healthy, exercise, guess what they are lifelong commitments, they are something you need to do every day, like brushing your teeth, having a shower, brushing your hair.... now occasionally some people let these things slide, but it's not like you can go a long time without doing them, not without some seriously icky consequences. Let me ask you this if you skip brushing your teeth in the morning, do you beat yourself up about it? Do you rush about brushing your teeth 3 more times that day to make up about it? Do you obsess over it? I bet most of you answer no, that evening when you come home before bed, you just pick up your tooth brush give em a brush and aim to do it again in the morning right? No muss no fuss, just whoopsie and onwards with it. Is this analogy making sense to you already? This is how you need to be with eating, it's about a measured approach. Some days you are gonna eat that muffin or have that piece of chocolate, or maybe even a block, but it's about how you move on with it that is going to make all the difference in making it lifelong versus a new diet.

So I hear some of you yelling but if I could just stop at one I wouldn't be in this predicament... I hear you, let me tell you I hear you loud and clear, it is what I used to very loudly pronounce the several times my mum and I did Weight Watchers many moons ago, but guess what? Like many things moderation is something that can be learnt! In fact it's imperative you do learn it, but it takes some effort and that's where most people give up, but let me tell you, if it's something that you can grasp a hold of, it will make a considerable difference to your life... or maybe that's just me.

So here's the thing, you don't actually have to starve yourself to lose weight, CRAZY, I know right, because most of us have been indoctinated with the idea that to lose weight you must not eat alot. But guess what it's about the types of food you eat. So many people say but I don't eat alot, or I eat really healthy. So here's the kicker, types of food and portion sizes, these are the secrets.

Let's look at my old eating habits:

1. Skip breakfast can't be bothered

2. Get large mocha on way to work (skim of course)

3. Buy lunch go to local cafe get schnitzel and chips or ceaser salad, (Come on it's salad right)

4. Some afternoon chocolate and another mocha (don't worry it's skim)

5. Go by KFC and get popcorn chicken and chips, upsized of course cause there's not much in those boxes right.

6. Buy bag of sour cream and onion chips to have while watching tv.

7. All followed by copious amounts of pepsi max, it's OK it's diet.

Let's break this down.

Mocha - 232 cals x 2 = 464 cals

Chicken Ceasar Salad = 904 cals

Maxi Popcorn Chicken = 646 cals

Chocolate bar (eg Cherry Ripe) = 255 cals

200g pack of Sour cream and onion chips = 1050 cals

Now look at that we see like 5 items that's not a lot to eat in a day right? For a grand total of 3319 calories. Now even if my BMR was 2500 that's still a crap more lot of calories than I need in a day and guess what those extra calories become.... YEP FAT! Just check out my before photo to see!

Now let's look at a more recent intake.

Muesli with banana and yoghurt = 338 cals

Large skim latte with one brown sugar = 132 cals

Piece of fruit = avg 100 cals

Home-made salad/wrap/or leftovers = avg 425 cals

Rice cakes with light cream cheese = avg 200 cals

Stir fry = avg 425 cals

Fruit with yoghurt = avg 200 cals

So immediately you can see there is much more food here, 7 items with copious amounts of vegetables added to the lunches and dinners, would you be surprised to learn that even though there is more food here it's only 1820 calories worth?

These days I eat MUCH more than I used to, but I eat different foods, food that make me feel good, and keep me revved and rearing to go, even though there is more food there are less calories and hence weight loss.

So during my journey I found a website called Calorie King, here's how it works:

Everyone requires a certain amount of calories to just EXIST. Even if you are bed ridden your body and organs use calories. This is called your BMR (Basic Metabolic Rate). There are many calculations out there to help you get this but please remember as with anything people can vary so while it gives you a starting point you may later need to vary things to get them working for you. But do it in increments rather than just dropping a bunch of calories to start with just try dropping 100 at a time till you find the right level for you (if you are will to do every diet under the sun for years on end you CAN give this a fair whack).

Now Calorie King asks for a whole bunch of information and then you have two choices, weightloss or maintenance. Maintenance calories are the amount of calories you can eat to maintain your current weight. Weightloss calories mean they look at your maintenance calories and then take calories away to create a deficit. This means that even without exercise you should lose weight.

Because they have created the deficit already, when you exercise you should then eat back the calories you burn from exercise because you already have a deficit in the calories you eat.

Now I've been on the forum for a while. I eat my exercise calories back I am losing weight, but as I mentioned it's not a perfect world and we are all different. Some people only eat half their exercise calories back, some eat none. What you need to be careful of is not eating enough, this can cause your body to go into "starvation mode", what this means is unsure of when or where the next meal will come from or unsure that it will have enough food, your body starts to rebel, it holds onto fat with a vegence and you may find that the scale just won't move.

So here's the thing, start by doing it kit and caboodle, the joy is you don't have to feel deprived, sometimes I have a piece of dark chocolate or a bit of cake, because I exercise I can eat even more than I showed you above! Now this doesn't mean you should go and eat 1800 calories worth of chocolate if I did that I'd be too tired to exercise! But it does mean there are times when you can basically have your cake and eat it too. I guarantee though if you fill up on lots of fruit and vegetables and lean meats, you will find that eventually you don't really want that sugary, fatty stuff you use to live off.

Here's the thing, you do it for a month and the scales don't move, as long as you are 100% sure about what you've been eating and you've been using a HRM to gauge your exercise calories (it's the bes way otherwise it's more of a guess) then try only eating back three-quarters of your exercise calories, begin tweaking to find what level works for you.

Here's another thing, don't think but if I don't eat back my exercise calories I will have created a bigger deficit and I will lose weight quicker, maybe initially but if you cut your calories back too far and you hit a plateau you have NOTHING to play with, which means you end up reducing your calorie intake more and suddenly you are on a diet and chucking it all in because it's all too hard!

So what if you need some help are there any diets out there that you can work into your lifestyle, that will help you create a healthy balance, learn some moderation. If you find it all too difficult, too busy, try Lite n Easy, I did that in the beginning to take the focus off the food. But remember like anything it is just a tool and you will only learn from it what you put into it. LnE taught me about portion sizes, and that real food is still fine to eat, add more vegetables to things, eat smaller portions. When I felt I had a better handle on it I moved into making my own meals again, but I take a leaf out of the LnE book, I cook a big pot of whatever I am making and the freeze the other portions, so when I can't be bothered to cook, or I've run out stuff for lunch, there is always a quick easy option for me to grab a meal from the freezer. The premise of Weight Watchers is good, the only thing about them I don't recommend is a lot of the weight watchers products, a lot of them are very high in sugar, use them but stick to making your own food.

Again don't focus on diet, focus on using these programs as a tool to fuel a more healthy balanced lifestyle.

Don't starve yourself, this is how yo-yo dieting becomes a vicious cycle, we starve or deprive ourselves, we binge from hunger, we give up because it's too hard, we make bad food choices, we feel bad about ourselves, we decide we need to diet and so on and so on!

Like exercise it does NOT have to be an all or nothing thing. Small sustainable changes that you will keep up for a long time are worth more to you than dropping 10 kg in two weeks (which is ridiculous anyway.... I don't care about the Biggest Loser it's a TV show!). So if it all seems to daunting do this. Pick one thing you would like to change. Want to swap that afternoon choccie for a piece of fruit. Do it, for a week, do that one thing. Then the following week pick something else, swap white bread for brown, do it for a week (maintaining the choccie to fruit one as well), and so on and so on. As will exercise I guarantee once you get started you will want to do more and more and before you know it, you will be saying no to that packet of tim tams, and craving a nice big salad with your chicken or steak or fish!

I'm going to leave it there for today, it's a lot of information to process especially if you are still trying to come to terms with the no need to starve thing! ;)

Happy Wednesday folks!

Exercise

2010-03-09T12:41:00.002+11:00

When I first started this journey, I started slow. I've done exercise before but you try lugging round 130 kg's it's hard friggin work! :D

A lot people complain that they don't have time for exercise, but if you have time to watch more than an hour of TV each night then you have time! My excuse was that I was just lazy! Do you know that if you tell yourself something often enough you'll believe it! Even if it isn't true. I knew though that if I tried to go hard 6 times a week I probably wouldn't even make it through the first week. So started slow.

I bought one of those vibration machines, you know they basically do the work for you all you have to do is stand or sit on them. They feel like a massage. Ten minutes a day you didn't even need to put on work out gear or sneakers, pyjamas and slippers worked just as well. After a week I felt a bit better about myself, on the way to the car at work there's escalators, with stairs in the middle. I started with those. Just walk up those stairs instead of taking the escalator, do it each evening for a week. So I did. Look at me go I thought, the next week I did those stairs and in the carpark I got out of the lift one flight earlier and walked those stairs, so it took me 5 weeks to get to all the stairs and even to today I still walk those stairs, at the time it was the beginning of exercise for me, today it's called Incidental Exercise and it's just as important as any other exercise you do, like food, every little bit counts!

I slowly progressed through from walking 2 times a week to adding in a boot camp. Now this was pretty scary at the time I was still over 120 kg, but I wanted to do more, I wanted to try. I found a girl's only boot camp that ran in cycles of 6 weeks, however they had already started but I was able to join for 4 weeks, I figured sheesh 4 weeks is a commitment I can make to myself and if I really hate it I don't go back I go looking at gyms or something. Needless to say for those of you that know me, I'm still here at Boot Camp, I think like in my 8th cycle, I don't know I've lost count, I just keep coming back!

So when I started Trainer Luke was the trainer, he pushed quietly, no yelling at this boot camp, and he gauged my fitness levels or lack of pretty quickly, I felt he built me up quite well over the months, till suddenly I was surprised at what I could do especially when I thought I couldn't. Trainer Luke recently moved on to new horizons and now we have Trainer Nate. Trainer Nate is different, but not in a bad way. He's excited by my enthusiasm and pushes me on, I think he will be a great trainer for pushing me onto the next level.

So today I spoke to him about adding some proper weights to my program and he has agreed to help me with this.

Lastly though (so you know all the game players) is Trainer Christian, he's my sister's trainer and he is HARD CORE! I've trained with him a few times, starting just before Christmas and was blown away but what I was able to do. I've agreed to spend the night at my sister's once a month to train with Trainer Christian even though it means double training on that particular day each month. I feel this adds another twist to my exercise, and keeps me on my toes.

It's important to keep changing your exercise program, your body adapts quickly and if you aren't really pushing yourself on a regular basis you may simply be in what is known as maintenance mode. So if you exercise often but don't find that you are achieving the changes in your body you want and you are sure your eating habits are on point, then you need to look at how and what you are training.

That's not to say that some days you shouldn't simply just go for a walk! Of course, you just need to include different intensities of training to achieve peak results.

One of the things I discovered in training is that I'm starting to like running. I've worked on building it up through different endurance and interval sessions. At the beginning of this year I achieved a goal I'd only ever thought about before, and that was to complete a fun run. I wanted to start doing them to train for the City to Surf in August, but now I'm finding I am enjoying the challenge of each one simply for that the challenge. I've joined a group that do a 3.4km run once a month last month my aim was to simply run all of it which I somehow managed! Now my aim is simply to continue beating my time and increasing my speed. The next big one I have planned is the Mother's Day Classic which is another 8km one. So keep an eye out as I'll be reporting on when I achieve these goals and how I do with them.

So today Trainer Nate was late, naughty boy, but the majority of us went for a light jog to warm up so when he arrived we were ready to go, you know how he rewarded us, but making us do a nasty hill run in the middle of the session! hehehehe Next week we will be spending the whole session on this hill. Some of the group (the returnees, not the new girls) have done some hill work with Trainer Luke but Trainer Nate's hill is steeper! I have to admit to hating it at the time, but feeling a great sense of accomplishment when the session is over.

So today I've covered a bit on exercise I wanted people to see that you can start off with little things and build up on it. Tomorrow I'll talk abit about healthy eating habits, notice I don't use that dirty term diet! Because as I'll discuss tomorrow, diets don't work!

Happy Tuesday folks!

Bringing you up to speed...

2010-03-08T20:47:00.006+11:00

So here we are, it's been 11 months, and over 35 kg's later we are making some great progress. Only 0.6 of a BMI point to move out of obese and into overweight. I don't put my stock completely into individual figures BMI can have fundamental flaws as it doesn't take into account muscle composition, still it's one tool to use amongst others at least for progress comparison.

Click the picture to see the larger version and compare the stats.

It's interesting to look at before photos, for me it's the fundamental look of saddness I see. Compared to the later pictures, my friends and colleagues tell me I have quite a glow about me these days, and even I notice I smile MUCH more.

I still have another 20 kg's I'd like to lose, so if you'd like to hear about what I've been doing and what I'm going to do, please follow along!

Here's the latest first to last comparison shot, I'll look at doing these every 6 to 8 weeks.

Back to the Beginning...

2010-03-08T16:30:00.000+11:00

It's important to start somewhere right? So the beginning has to be as good a place as any.

This was me, Christmas 2008 and March 2009.

I still get a little shock when I look at them. Anyone who has known me looks at these pictures and tells me I didn't see you that big, or I didn't realise you had gotten that big. So I continue to push these out there because you know what I WAS that big, and if god forbid I start to regress I'm counting on my friends to pull me back into line. I need them to remember and I need to remember that this was a reality for me, one I was almost willing to accept, and I don't ever want to have to go back there.

So let's do some measurements for comparison.

Height: 176cm

Weight: 130 kg

Chest: 127 cm

Waist: 123 cm

Hips: 144 cm

Thigh: 69 cm

BMI: 42.0 - Morbidly Obese

Next post I will do a series of progress shots and measurements to date.